(no subject)
i dont know what i'm doing really
a "normal" dose of valium doesnt do anything for me. i take my prescribed 2 a day and i feel no different whatsoever
and each day there's a part of me that's getting bigger, suggesting that i take maybe 10 to see what happens...maybe take half the bottle and go to a friends house and hope for the best/worst. but there is, and always will be, a bigger part of me that, although i think about taking the whole bottle and the remnants of my sleeping pills, will always stop me because i'm terrified of dying
i want to live, but i want to numb myself, but i don't want to feel, but i want out of this mess of a mind and life
i don't think i can win, really
a "normal" dose of valium doesnt do anything for me. i take my prescribed 2 a day and i feel no different whatsoever
and each day there's a part of me that's getting bigger, suggesting that i take maybe 10 to see what happens...maybe take half the bottle and go to a friends house and hope for the best/worst. but there is, and always will be, a bigger part of me that, although i think about taking the whole bottle and the remnants of my sleeping pills, will always stop me because i'm terrified of dying
i want to live, but i want to numb myself, but i don't want to feel, but i want out of this mess of a mind and life
i don't think i can win, really