i’m just a man; i’m not a hero
Sort-of new layout? Featuring gorgeous artwork bytransmutaris that I tried hard not to ruin.
I bought Entertainment Weekly again, because it was only $10 for a whole year. I assume that when it comes time to renew this summer, they’ll just give it to me for free provided I’m willing to contractually obligate myself to buy at least three of the products featured in their ads over the course of 2009. Anyway, they’ve got a spring movie preview feature this week, in which the following statement is printed:
REGARDING THE DRAGONBALL “MOVIE”: You might have missed the cult manga comics that have already spawned hit animated TV shows in the U.S. and Japan.
What’s? What? WHAT?!
The clown laughs, but he also cries. Then he stabs people.
:[˙˙˙˙˙˙˙
Speaking of which, in a startling break from tradition, this week’s cover features the Comedian instead of the hideously unattractive cast of Twilight. I have to tell you that I am a little worried, because the Comedian is hot. Like, really hot. Like really, really, really hot. Like, way, way hot. Like, I was gazing lustfully at his mouth in one of the publicity shots. I think this is maybe not the appropriate reaction to have to the Comedian, knowing what I know about him.
Shockingly, I’m not a slobbering Watchmen fanatic, but this whole creaking cinematic edifice is kind of worrying me, period. Example: Doctor Obvious sounds like Billy Crudup when he talks. I’m pretty sure that Doctor Obvious is not supposed to talk like Billy Crudup. I’m not in love with the animu-raep faux-art photography, with the My Chemical Romance cover, with the endless repetition of one of Rorschach’s crazy throw-away lines like it’s fucking Shakespeare or something (apparently we can’t think of anything more horrifying than a superhero who might not want to save us) (okay, point taken), with the tiring viral marketing, or, actually, with any of it. I’m also not loving the way they’re explaining “WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN” to me in the trailers like I’m too stupid to get it on my own. I got it, movie dudes. I’m on it.
THEY WATCH OVER US
BUT WHO WATCHES THEM?
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT’S AN EXTENDED
METAPHOR FOR THE UNCEASING WILLINGNESS
OF THE HUMAN RACE TO
ENTRUST MORTAL POWERS OF OVERSIGHT
TO ANY UNTESTED ‘SUPERIOR’ FORCE,
ABSOLVING OURSELVES OF BOTH
RESPONSIBILITY AND PURPOSE.
YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
I bought Entertainment Weekly again, because it was only $10 for a whole year. I assume that when it comes time to renew this summer, they’ll just give it to me for free provided I’m willing to contractually obligate myself to buy at least three of the products featured in their ads over the course of 2009. Anyway, they’ve got a spring movie preview feature this week, in which the following statement is printed:
REGARDING THE DRAGONBALL “MOVIE”: You might have missed the cult manga comics that have already spawned hit animated TV shows in the U.S. and Japan.
What’s? What? WHAT?!
The clown laughs, but he also cries. Then he stabs people.
:[˙˙˙˙˙˙˙
Speaking of which, in a startling break from tradition, this week’s cover features the Comedian instead of the hideously unattractive cast of Twilight. I have to tell you that I am a little worried, because the Comedian is hot. Like, really hot. Like really, really, really hot. Like, way, way hot. Like, I was gazing lustfully at his mouth in one of the publicity shots. I think this is maybe not the appropriate reaction to have to the Comedian, knowing what I know about him.
Shockingly, I’m not a slobbering Watchmen fanatic, but this whole creaking cinematic edifice is kind of worrying me, period. Example: Doctor Obvious sounds like Billy Crudup when he talks. I’m pretty sure that Doctor Obvious is not supposed to talk like Billy Crudup. I’m not in love with the animu-raep faux-art photography, with the My Chemical Romance cover, with the endless repetition of one of Rorschach’s crazy throw-away lines like it’s fucking Shakespeare or something (apparently we can’t think of anything more horrifying than a superhero who might not want to save us) (okay, point taken), with the tiring viral marketing, or, actually, with any of it. I’m also not loving the way they’re explaining “WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN” to me in the trailers like I’m too stupid to get it on my own. I got it, movie dudes. I’m on it.
THEY WATCH OVER US
BUT WHO WATCHES THEM?
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT’S AN EXTENDED
METAPHOR FOR THE UNCEASING WILLINGNESS
OF THE HUMAN RACE TO
ENTRUST MORTAL POWERS OF OVERSIGHT
TO ANY UNTESTED ‘SUPERIOR’ FORCE,
ABSOLVING OURSELVES OF BOTH
RESPONSIBILITY AND PURPOSE.
YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?