Overall a good weekend
So, I went to Cedar Rapids this weekend for Iron Man. The event was good and it was good to see old friends and family. Friday night was a bit disconcerting for me.
My mother chooses to show her love in odd ways, one of these ways is to be over protective about certain things. One of those things is the names I was called when I was a kid. We were all sitting around and talking/drinking and someone said something that sounded like one of the names I was called as a kid. My mother proceeded to explain every bit of why that specific word was emotionally damaging to me, and brought me back to insecurity in an instant. I knew it was coming, but Spoon repeated a name similar just to see if it would set me off, I proceeded to curse him and my mother out for saying anything as I walked away, continuing to spout curse words as I went to bed.
I had thought I was emotionally over those pieces of my past which made me feel like that and moreso I could not be lieve the level to which that hit me. I was in my head for the rest of friday night and through a good portion of saturday morning until I could get through all of my kung fu sets and talk to my wife; even after that I had to talk to my father before I was fully stable.
The rest of the weekend was good I just am still a little mystified at the level to which that effected me and have been trying to analyze it ever since. . .
My mother chooses to show her love in odd ways, one of these ways is to be over protective about certain things. One of those things is the names I was called when I was a kid. We were all sitting around and talking/drinking and someone said something that sounded like one of the names I was called as a kid. My mother proceeded to explain every bit of why that specific word was emotionally damaging to me, and brought me back to insecurity in an instant. I knew it was coming, but Spoon repeated a name similar just to see if it would set me off, I proceeded to curse him and my mother out for saying anything as I walked away, continuing to spout curse words as I went to bed.
I had thought I was emotionally over those pieces of my past which made me feel like that and moreso I could not be lieve the level to which that hit me. I was in my head for the rest of friday night and through a good portion of saturday morning until I could get through all of my kung fu sets and talk to my wife; even after that I had to talk to my father before I was fully stable.
The rest of the weekend was good I just am still a little mystified at the level to which that effected me and have been trying to analyze it ever since. . .