collection of thoughts on trans issues
this is more to collect my own thoughts in one place. but happy to engage in a discussion.
some of this may seem contradictory, but who said it was easy to think?
1. trans people exist. i will believe current medical point of view that gives go-ahead to sex change operations after a rigorous process of examination and to weed out those for whom it is not an answer. trans people can get their new gender recognised officially (well, in sane countries anyway) and can live in the gender they are more comfortable with. i see no problem in that.
2. on the personal level i will never understand what it is like to be or feel trans, like i will never feel what it is like to be a woman, a person from a different country, of a different race or a different sexual orientation, or many other things which i never was and never will be so it is simply impossible. but i try not to be an asshole. so when a person tells me something about their experience, i will do my best to understand or at least listen and acknowledge what they have to say.
i also know personally people who would deliberately use offensive language towards trans people (e.g. "men with penises cut off") and that is deeply wrong.
3. I personally know closely one trans woman, and met in my life to various degrees of interaction several trans men and trans women. Sometimes when I meet a trans person for the first time, i don't immediately recognise them as such, and occasionally my reaction is curiocity and a bit of surprise. I am human after all and trans people are even a smaller minority than gays and lesbians, so actual chances to meet one in usual life are quite small. So, yes, a degree of surprise and "oh i see" is there.
4. science. i do not know why some people are trans. like i do not know why some people are gay. i do not think there is a definitive agreement among scientists on this subject. what seems to be the case though is that both these subjects are highly politicised, which makes objectivity and rigorous research difficult. Official "gay party line" is that it is in-born, immutable and we have no choice. if any research surfaces that suggests it may not be or may not always be, it is often immediately condemned as homophobic. Same story seems to be the case about trans issues.
Among "inconvenient" subjects are: existense of people who de-transition (traitors!), cases when it becomes "popular" among a group of high school girls to "come out as trans", that being uncomfortable with your gender does not always mean you are trans, what to do with children who may be trans to begin with (puberty blockers etc.), and so on.
in such messy and complicated area as gender, sex, perception of self it is becoming increasingly more and more difficult to have a conversation. even asking a question will often mark you as transphobe.
5. policing of language. i m with JK Rowling on this one. torturing language to make a very small group of people feel better by making everyone else feel attacked and go WTF is not the way forward. i m talking about use of "people who menstruate" instead of "women" for example. Trans activists point out that "some trans men also menstruate". um ok. and? Why use tortured language? Because you do not want to be offended or excluded. Ok. but why does this need to happen by offending others? why are your feelings more important than feelings of women who feel dehumanised by being called "people who menstruate"?
or stories like this
6. sports. another contentious area. i have a story from my volleyball life. i know personally a trans woman who was a very high level men volleyball player. we met several times at volleyball tournaments. she then transitioned. now she is playing for a high level womens team in Brazil. she is tall, muscular and will kill you on the court. on the one hand - on a personal level - you go girl! on the other hand - is this fair to women who did not grow up as boys to have that phisique and height and muscles?
7. trans people are very often discriminated, face violence, and vicious transphobes exist and are often very vocal. i agree it is a problem and trans rights are definitely worth fighting for. which means trans people need allies. many people do not know much about trans people. but you do not make friends and allies by yelling "transfobe!", "TERF!" at someone's perhaps awkwardly phrased question or a real concern, or even a feeling of unease. I am sure gay rights were not advanced by yelling "homophobe" at everyone, but by years of campaigning, persuasion and making your case. There are literally people who believe trans people should be killed or put in a mental institution. and to lable them in the same was as someone who says "i am not ok being called a person who menstruate" is ... well... counter-productive.
8. cancel culture. i wrote about this already. i am sure if i were even mildly famous this post would lead to me losing my job even before i pressed "post" for my outrageously transphobic comments above. a friend recently posted on his Facebook about this JK Rowling scandal. and it was truly depressing to read the comments of the people on their high horses. everyhting by the playbook. call the opponents transphobes, ignorant, bigots, misrepresent their position and then argue against something people didnt say. and so on. one of my faviourte parts was
"you can have a difference of opinion, but only if your ‘opinion’ isn’t rooted in the fear, hatred, and oppression of another group of people."
but who will decide if an option is "rooted in the fear, hatred, and oppression of another group of people."? the people you are disagreeing with. isnt that convenient :) that summarises most conversations on this subject very neatly.
well thats all for now. if i have more thoughts later i ll add them.
i guess we'll see if 10 years from now i ll lose my job for this post.
some of this may seem contradictory, but who said it was easy to think?
1. trans people exist. i will believe current medical point of view that gives go-ahead to sex change operations after a rigorous process of examination and to weed out those for whom it is not an answer. trans people can get their new gender recognised officially (well, in sane countries anyway) and can live in the gender they are more comfortable with. i see no problem in that.
2. on the personal level i will never understand what it is like to be or feel trans, like i will never feel what it is like to be a woman, a person from a different country, of a different race or a different sexual orientation, or many other things which i never was and never will be so it is simply impossible. but i try not to be an asshole. so when a person tells me something about their experience, i will do my best to understand or at least listen and acknowledge what they have to say.
i also know personally people who would deliberately use offensive language towards trans people (e.g. "men with penises cut off") and that is deeply wrong.
3. I personally know closely one trans woman, and met in my life to various degrees of interaction several trans men and trans women. Sometimes when I meet a trans person for the first time, i don't immediately recognise them as such, and occasionally my reaction is curiocity and a bit of surprise. I am human after all and trans people are even a smaller minority than gays and lesbians, so actual chances to meet one in usual life are quite small. So, yes, a degree of surprise and "oh i see" is there.
4. science. i do not know why some people are trans. like i do not know why some people are gay. i do not think there is a definitive agreement among scientists on this subject. what seems to be the case though is that both these subjects are highly politicised, which makes objectivity and rigorous research difficult. Official "gay party line" is that it is in-born, immutable and we have no choice. if any research surfaces that suggests it may not be or may not always be, it is often immediately condemned as homophobic. Same story seems to be the case about trans issues.
Among "inconvenient" subjects are: existense of people who de-transition (traitors!), cases when it becomes "popular" among a group of high school girls to "come out as trans", that being uncomfortable with your gender does not always mean you are trans, what to do with children who may be trans to begin with (puberty blockers etc.), and so on.
in such messy and complicated area as gender, sex, perception of self it is becoming increasingly more and more difficult to have a conversation. even asking a question will often mark you as transphobe.
5. policing of language. i m with JK Rowling on this one. torturing language to make a very small group of people feel better by making everyone else feel attacked and go WTF is not the way forward. i m talking about use of "people who menstruate" instead of "women" for example. Trans activists point out that "some trans men also menstruate". um ok. and? Why use tortured language? Because you do not want to be offended or excluded. Ok. but why does this need to happen by offending others? why are your feelings more important than feelings of women who feel dehumanised by being called "people who menstruate"?
or stories like this
6. sports. another contentious area. i have a story from my volleyball life. i know personally a trans woman who was a very high level men volleyball player. we met several times at volleyball tournaments. she then transitioned. now she is playing for a high level womens team in Brazil. she is tall, muscular and will kill you on the court. on the one hand - on a personal level - you go girl! on the other hand - is this fair to women who did not grow up as boys to have that phisique and height and muscles?
7. trans people are very often discriminated, face violence, and vicious transphobes exist and are often very vocal. i agree it is a problem and trans rights are definitely worth fighting for. which means trans people need allies. many people do not know much about trans people. but you do not make friends and allies by yelling "transfobe!", "TERF!" at someone's perhaps awkwardly phrased question or a real concern, or even a feeling of unease. I am sure gay rights were not advanced by yelling "homophobe" at everyone, but by years of campaigning, persuasion and making your case. There are literally people who believe trans people should be killed or put in a mental institution. and to lable them in the same was as someone who says "i am not ok being called a person who menstruate" is ... well... counter-productive.
8. cancel culture. i wrote about this already. i am sure if i were even mildly famous this post would lead to me losing my job even before i pressed "post" for my outrageously transphobic comments above. a friend recently posted on his Facebook about this JK Rowling scandal. and it was truly depressing to read the comments of the people on their high horses. everyhting by the playbook. call the opponents transphobes, ignorant, bigots, misrepresent their position and then argue against something people didnt say. and so on. one of my faviourte parts was
"you can have a difference of opinion, but only if your ‘opinion’ isn’t rooted in the fear, hatred, and oppression of another group of people."
but who will decide if an option is "rooted in the fear, hatred, and oppression of another group of people."? the people you are disagreeing with. isnt that convenient :) that summarises most conversations on this subject very neatly.
well thats all for now. if i have more thoughts later i ll add them.
i guess we'll see if 10 years from now i ll lose my job for this post.