Four Weeks to Eternity
After this:
One Day to One week Post-Break-Up
He cries all night. The next day hangs gloomy and dark and he staggers about, barely managing to get anything done. His eyes are red-rimmed and nearly swollen shut from crying, but every time he thinks about her, somehow, he has more tears to shed. His world narrows to keeping time, time since the Break-Up, which seems to have changed everything.
Days pass, slowly. No one comes to the Rock for awhile. And the chaos outside seems to roil especially badly. He doesn't eat much, with an appetite that had already been declining gone all to pot now.
In his mind and heart, he finds only sorrow, no reason to do anything, or move, or think. No reason for anything at all. He goers through the motions and moves about his duties, concentrating exactly as hard as he has to, in order to do his job, and then collapsing again, to either cry, or stare helplessly into the night, or at the ceiling, or out into the chaos from the terrace.
Sometimes he ponders just falling over that edge, but he knows he cant do that. If he leaves the Rock, it will explode, and release it's terrors, it's pains, it's darknesses. And so he never does. He walks, he works, and he lives.
But the boy he was? Is gone.
***
One week to Three weeks Post-Break-Up
They say time heals all wounds, and Billy figures it will some day, heal some of this pain. But Stephanie was the first woman he truly loved, the first woman he cared about enough to reveal his secret to for that reason, and the first woman he ever had sex with... He had hoped that maybe... somehow, someday, they could even take the next step.
Apparently he hadn't been good enough, hadn't been what she wanted at all.
It's better this way.
He keeps saying it over and over, but it doesn't work really well.
It is better this way that she is free to do as she wants and not saddled with me. She'll be better off... she'll have a chance to be happy. That is all that matters.
And slowly, he regains his footing. Slowly, he learns how to deal with this pain. Slowly, he begins to accept things will be better.
He doesn't stop crying and thinking about her face, but he starts to deal, slowly.
***
Four Weeks Post-Break-Up
He has friends at Milliways, ones he should at least see again, even if it is the last time. Even if he cant even think about the Bar without thinking about Her and that just starts the crying again.
But he makes his plans and he slowly gets himself together. He has gained height in the nearly two months since he was last at Milliways. He has gained height and lost weight at the same time. He isn't gaunt, but he is very close, very thin, and it shows most, in his face and eyes. Dark pillows seem to live there now. But he keeps getting ready, concealing his weight loss with baggier clothes, actually using a form of make-up to partially conceal his lighter build. He gathers a few things together, and does what he has to do.
And finally... he thinks he is ready.
He isn't sure,. but there is no point in delaying. He will go back, at least one more time.
He will return to Milliways.
One Day to One week Post-Break-Up
He cries all night. The next day hangs gloomy and dark and he staggers about, barely managing to get anything done. His eyes are red-rimmed and nearly swollen shut from crying, but every time he thinks about her, somehow, he has more tears to shed. His world narrows to keeping time, time since the Break-Up, which seems to have changed everything.
Days pass, slowly. No one comes to the Rock for awhile. And the chaos outside seems to roil especially badly. He doesn't eat much, with an appetite that had already been declining gone all to pot now.
In his mind and heart, he finds only sorrow, no reason to do anything, or move, or think. No reason for anything at all. He goers through the motions and moves about his duties, concentrating exactly as hard as he has to, in order to do his job, and then collapsing again, to either cry, or stare helplessly into the night, or at the ceiling, or out into the chaos from the terrace.
Sometimes he ponders just falling over that edge, but he knows he cant do that. If he leaves the Rock, it will explode, and release it's terrors, it's pains, it's darknesses. And so he never does. He walks, he works, and he lives.
But the boy he was? Is gone.
***
One week to Three weeks Post-Break-Up
They say time heals all wounds, and Billy figures it will some day, heal some of this pain. But Stephanie was the first woman he truly loved, the first woman he cared about enough to reveal his secret to for that reason, and the first woman he ever had sex with... He had hoped that maybe... somehow, someday, they could even take the next step.
Apparently he hadn't been good enough, hadn't been what she wanted at all.
It's better this way.
He keeps saying it over and over, but it doesn't work really well.
It is better this way that she is free to do as she wants and not saddled with me. She'll be better off... she'll have a chance to be happy. That is all that matters.
And slowly, he regains his footing. Slowly, he learns how to deal with this pain. Slowly, he begins to accept things will be better.
He doesn't stop crying and thinking about her face, but he starts to deal, slowly.
***
Four Weeks Post-Break-Up
He has friends at Milliways, ones he should at least see again, even if it is the last time. Even if he cant even think about the Bar without thinking about Her and that just starts the crying again.
But he makes his plans and he slowly gets himself together. He has gained height in the nearly two months since he was last at Milliways. He has gained height and lost weight at the same time. He isn't gaunt, but he is very close, very thin, and it shows most, in his face and eyes. Dark pillows seem to live there now. But he keeps getting ready, concealing his weight loss with baggier clothes, actually using a form of make-up to partially conceal his lighter build. He gathers a few things together, and does what he has to do.
And finally... he thinks he is ready.
He isn't sure,. but there is no point in delaying. He will go back, at least one more time.
He will return to Milliways.