TRANSLATIONS, Part I. -- Переводы, Часть I.

[origa]

These are all the haiku in English and Russian. Some statistic, as always: 145 poems by 62 poets from 22 countries. A deliberately modest numbers this time as I am in time-trouble (Zeitnot) -- THANK  YOU all, dear haiku friends!  Please take your time to read the four parts of the translations and discuss all the poems, choose your favorites. I'll

Comments

[stefan11]

Some of my favorites in this set:
sudden halt -
the mustang’s heart
keeps running

midday heat -
a mustang herd
brings the wind

Valeria Simonova-Cecon, Italy

I love the contrast between the heart's running and the sudden halt. Also, mustang heard bringing the wind, what a great image and metaphor.
ever higher
on the wild horse’s back
only the sky

Marina Darenskaya, Russia

Being covered only by the sky, wow, that's true freedom. I envy this mustang (in a good way).
longing for blue heaven
mustang’s dream goes wandering
over a field of summer grass

Kyoko Shibata, Japan

Very nice! (Though, why not to simplify and say "dream wonders" or "dream wondering" (without goes) and "over summer grasses" (without field). Just some questions. )

for your question

[stefan11]

Dear Stefan-san

Thank you very much for your nice impression for my haiku. I'm so honored! This time I wrote "honkadori" styled one. So, both of "dream goes wondering" and "over a field of grass" are simply from original lines of Basho's last poem. I'm so glad this one is one of your favorite! Thank you again!

Kyoko Shibata (^-^)

Re: for your question

[origa]

Kyoko, this is not the only comment on your haiku -- I hope you find others! :)

Thank you!

[stefan11]

Oh, really?? Thank you very much for giving me such a thrilling moment, dear Origa! Your contest is really nice! (^-^)

Re: Thank you!

[origa]

The pleasure is all mine, dear freind :)

[origa]

Thanks for your detailed analysis, Stefan!

Kyoko Shibata's " longing for blue heaven"

[stefan11]

Kyoko Shibata's "longing for blue heaven" is an interesting take on the Basho classic. I also feel that it is faithful to Origa's work.

Re: Kyoko Shibata's " longing for blue heaven"

[origa]

I agree, Darrell. It's the only honkadori in this contest, I believe... at least the only one successful.

Re: Kyoko Shibata's " longing for blue heaven"

[stefan11]

Dear Darrell-san

Thank you very much for your nice impression. I'm so glad you agree with my image!

Kyoko (^-^)

[origa]

Btw, Stefan -- on this page, there are not just one (by Kyoko), but two honkadori ! Have you noticed? :)

[stefan11]

I wish Idid.
Th second one?