After-Christ-math
Well it is now after Christmas and I'm the only one awake, watching the Venture Bros. season 2 marathon on Adult Swim and having a good time of it. (I REALLY can't wait until this is out on DVD) We leave early in the morning for Kansas City and Meg's grandparents and after that we go to see Trans Siberian Orchestra. I'm somewhat anxious to get home, partly due to the presents I got, Final Fantasy 12 collectors edition and the Official strat guide with art book (the artwork for FFs is always amazing and I always want the artbooks but I never get them, so that was cool) and partly because I am in a Magic Online league and doing the best I've ever done so I'd like to get back to that.
Like Meg said in her LJ post, her parents decided to get a Wii for us, but seeing as how they decided that last minute they haven't exactly gotten it yet. So I have that to look forward to, but I don't have it now, and I was hoping maybe I would. I can wait for it, I'm not that impatient it just would have been nice to have that for next weekend, when Meg is having her friends come out for New Years. But that won't happen, so we probably won't be able to share the Wii with anyone for a long time, and unlike other systems, the Wii really does feel like a true multiplayer system where its more fun with more people.
I've also been meaning to post for the last few days with some stuff thats been on my mind. Basically I've been thinking about internet friends lately, whether because of the time of year or something else I don't know, but I've been kinda getting sad over it. Its funny how close you can get to some people online, or think you get, but in the end all they are are people on the net. And the realization of this comes when you want desperately to talk to them, either because you are worried about them, or just because you miss talking to them, or some combination of those and other things, yet you have no real way to contact them.
Truthfully I suppose if a RL friend wanted to avoid you bad enough they could, but then you'd know you were being avoided. With internet friends, you have an IM name, or maybe a few, maybe a couple email addies, a blog but with how the internet is those are temporary things. I've known people to change their IM handles almost once a week, and emails changed on a whim as well, and blogs might not be so important to some, as I can attest to.
Sometime you get a phone number or address from people online, and I guess at that point they aren't just an online friend. But not everyone is so trusting even after knowing you for a while. I dunno why I complain, or bring it up even. It happens, thats the net for you, I'm betting there are a few people that have lost contact with me that might have felt the same way. The only real reason I care is that I've been missing some of those net friends recently, ones I thought I was really close to in the past. And I guess I starting thinking about losing contact with them, cause I find myself wondering about a few net friends I have now that it seems to be happening with. Again, these are people I thought I was close to, people I didn't think would just disappear on me or ignore me. Sure I might be over reacting, they might have legitimate excuses. Some people take breaks from the net, I know I tried that one before myself. I just can't help but wonder if maybe I did something to piss them off, which now that I think about, is me falling back into old patterns.
Years ago I used to be totally emo, I still am cause if you have that personality you don't really grow out of it, but I was really bad. I used to pull all that emo stuff without even thinking about it. The whole its all my fault the world hates me so why not you to, so go ahead and hate me cause I do anyways stuff. And this is like that to a lesser extent. I mean I have no reason to believe I've done something to piss off my net friends yet I am thinking thats GOTTA be the reason they don't talk to me anymore. And it also feels like its just ME they aren't talking to, but I can't know that eh?
I guess in the end all I can really take away from this is to learn from it. If these net friends come back then I should try to get non-net contact info. If not, then in the future if I find a good friend I should make an effort to make them more than just a net friend.
Well I guess all I got left to say is, I hope everyone had a good Xmas too, and don't forget your friends, even if they are just someone you know on the Internet. Oh and I suppose I will leave this public, never know who might read it and decide to say 'hi'. Yeah I'm being hopeful but I find it better than being depressed.
Like Meg said in her LJ post, her parents decided to get a Wii for us, but seeing as how they decided that last minute they haven't exactly gotten it yet. So I have that to look forward to, but I don't have it now, and I was hoping maybe I would. I can wait for it, I'm not that impatient it just would have been nice to have that for next weekend, when Meg is having her friends come out for New Years. But that won't happen, so we probably won't be able to share the Wii with anyone for a long time, and unlike other systems, the Wii really does feel like a true multiplayer system where its more fun with more people.
I've also been meaning to post for the last few days with some stuff thats been on my mind. Basically I've been thinking about internet friends lately, whether because of the time of year or something else I don't know, but I've been kinda getting sad over it. Its funny how close you can get to some people online, or think you get, but in the end all they are are people on the net. And the realization of this comes when you want desperately to talk to them, either because you are worried about them, or just because you miss talking to them, or some combination of those and other things, yet you have no real way to contact them.
Truthfully I suppose if a RL friend wanted to avoid you bad enough they could, but then you'd know you were being avoided. With internet friends, you have an IM name, or maybe a few, maybe a couple email addies, a blog but with how the internet is those are temporary things. I've known people to change their IM handles almost once a week, and emails changed on a whim as well, and blogs might not be so important to some, as I can attest to.
Sometime you get a phone number or address from people online, and I guess at that point they aren't just an online friend. But not everyone is so trusting even after knowing you for a while. I dunno why I complain, or bring it up even. It happens, thats the net for you, I'm betting there are a few people that have lost contact with me that might have felt the same way. The only real reason I care is that I've been missing some of those net friends recently, ones I thought I was really close to in the past. And I guess I starting thinking about losing contact with them, cause I find myself wondering about a few net friends I have now that it seems to be happening with. Again, these are people I thought I was close to, people I didn't think would just disappear on me or ignore me. Sure I might be over reacting, they might have legitimate excuses. Some people take breaks from the net, I know I tried that one before myself. I just can't help but wonder if maybe I did something to piss them off, which now that I think about, is me falling back into old patterns.
Years ago I used to be totally emo, I still am cause if you have that personality you don't really grow out of it, but I was really bad. I used to pull all that emo stuff without even thinking about it. The whole its all my fault the world hates me so why not you to, so go ahead and hate me cause I do anyways stuff. And this is like that to a lesser extent. I mean I have no reason to believe I've done something to piss off my net friends yet I am thinking thats GOTTA be the reason they don't talk to me anymore. And it also feels like its just ME they aren't talking to, but I can't know that eh?
I guess in the end all I can really take away from this is to learn from it. If these net friends come back then I should try to get non-net contact info. If not, then in the future if I find a good friend I should make an effort to make them more than just a net friend.
Well I guess all I got left to say is, I hope everyone had a good Xmas too, and don't forget your friends, even if they are just someone you know on the Internet. Oh and I suppose I will leave this public, never know who might read it and decide to say 'hi'. Yeah I'm being hopeful but I find it better than being depressed.