Truth be told.
Today I just had a hang over of truth. It didn't hit me until just now.
Last night was a pretty good night. After work, I met up with some friends and spent a few hours hanging out at the open pad. It was simply chill, just jammin' and what not. Somehow, once again I was at ease.
For the last few months or so, my life has been somewhat of a trial and tribulation. I can't say that anything specifically horrible has happened, but I will say that from time to time, the combination of these things all together really brings me low. From school, to social, financial, family pressures and even tests against my spiritually, I feel myself struggling to just stand with equilibrium and peace of mind. Of course as a result, I find myself becoming more and more negative, eventually I lose motivation here and there and my inspiration seems to run low. Sometimes, even just being motivated to wake up in the morning isn't easy. As the day follows through, I spend most of it just trying to climb out of my low mindset. When the moonlight comes again, I begin to feel closer to ease but come morning, it is back to where I started twenty four hours prior.
A part of me realizes that the majority of this is really all in my head, and I have a tendency to make a big deal of things that are otherwise less significant. I admit that I'm a very sentimental person, to the point where I observe the most subtle happenings and connect something totally otherwise irrelevant to it. I really do have negative tendencies, and I see the damage that it does to my relationships with other people, as well as other person's overall perception of me. Many times, this causes me to just take solitude and be a lone soul for a moment. However, in those moments of solitude, I am able to find some sort of peace and just clear my head of anything obstructing that peace. I can independently think, and focus again on the ongoing lessons God has blessed me with. Although, it is also in the moments of solitude that I can hit some of my seemingly bottomless lows, I survive and suddenly, like a child being helped back up after a fall, I'm delivered into the freedom of Christ once again.
Last night, I spoke with a friend from high school for a good amount of time.
In my high school days, I didn't really associate too much with anybody and though I did relate with some groups of people, including my friend's group, for the most part I kept most of my expression to myself. I would see what these groups of people would go through with life and each other, and alot of times I would get aggravated because alot of their worries, in my opinion, weren't as pressing as mine. At the same time, I wasn't really seeing everything but surely I wasn't humble enough to really sympathize too much with anybody else. In time though, this changed, and I became able to just greet these people with a sincere smile. But anyways, back to last night. Sorry, I tend to ramble.
My friend and I caught up a little bit, and with more detail. One thing I really enjoy about this person is that you can feel how sincere he is about hearing how you've been. We both talked for awhile about recent life happenings and such. Of course, I expressed to him a little about how things have been going in my life lately, briefing describing things here and there. He did the same as well, though probably not as much as I did, but still with honesty. He is about two years younger than me and still in high school. Friendly guy nonetheless, and he seems to be pretty good at what he loves to do. So we talked!..
While we were talking, he was also having a conversation through text with someone else. Alot of things came up through that, and eventually we got to talk more in depth about particular things. Although he is younger by a little bit, a couple things he said that night will always stick to me. We talked about being in relationships, girls and such. One thing he said really got me thinking. He said he prays that the emotions he feels for a girl he is infatuated with instead be directed towards loving God. I totally respect and admire that. It was just another reminder of how important it is to solely focus on loving God, except he chose to word it in such a way that I'll never forget. That really hit home, and hopefully I can embody such a statement.
We continued to talk about more different topics back and forth, mostly relating back to the person texting with. Another thing he brought up was that he felt as if this person (a girl) and him were working towards two seperate goals, at the same time not really seeing the other person's efforts since they are both working for different things in their relationship. He is aiming for a friendship, while this girl seems to want more than that. I really respect the fact that he recognizes certain things about himself that would prevent him from having a good relationship. That is something that we all need to be able to do, to just be critical of yourself enough in order to realize what in your life needs work. By now, I was looking into the outer space of the night sky, pondering on these things.
He seems to be something of an optimistic person. For the most part, it seems that he is able to just look at problems and figure out how to deal with them without dwelling in them. However, although he is able to give many people good and helpful advice, he also admits that at times, he can't take his own advice when he really needs it. True that, it happens to us all. Though he is optimistic, the girl that he has been talking with recently, he says, isn't as positive. She is brought down by alot of her problems, and although my friend would tell her that she'll be okay, she doesn't seem to believe it. My friend tells me that he feels as if there is nothing he can do to help her, as a result. As an optimistic person, he believes that people shouldn't dwell in their problems, for it won't do them any good. Truth be told, that's life.
Of course instead of negativity, it is better to rather find something you love to do and become good at it. It only makes sense. Being reminded of this was very liberating. To get better at what you love to do will take focus, motivation and inspiration but in God's will, it'll be done. The conversation concluded itself and we both just went back to simply chilling at the pad. The night came and went, and finally I was home.
Today, I woke up. I'm getting better. It really is all in my head. "If it is to be, it is up to me." I have alot of work ahead of me, and I may be the only person who will see it through. I need to be on the move, be transformed, and be inspired. I need to let go. I need to love, in the best way. I need to hold on the that ounce of hope. "There is just too much to gain once you get past what you lost." No matter what, God is good.
God is good.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds" - James 1:2
Praise God for all your lives.
Last night was a pretty good night. After work, I met up with some friends and spent a few hours hanging out at the open pad. It was simply chill, just jammin' and what not. Somehow, once again I was at ease.
For the last few months or so, my life has been somewhat of a trial and tribulation. I can't say that anything specifically horrible has happened, but I will say that from time to time, the combination of these things all together really brings me low. From school, to social, financial, family pressures and even tests against my spiritually, I feel myself struggling to just stand with equilibrium and peace of mind. Of course as a result, I find myself becoming more and more negative, eventually I lose motivation here and there and my inspiration seems to run low. Sometimes, even just being motivated to wake up in the morning isn't easy. As the day follows through, I spend most of it just trying to climb out of my low mindset. When the moonlight comes again, I begin to feel closer to ease but come morning, it is back to where I started twenty four hours prior.
A part of me realizes that the majority of this is really all in my head, and I have a tendency to make a big deal of things that are otherwise less significant. I admit that I'm a very sentimental person, to the point where I observe the most subtle happenings and connect something totally otherwise irrelevant to it. I really do have negative tendencies, and I see the damage that it does to my relationships with other people, as well as other person's overall perception of me. Many times, this causes me to just take solitude and be a lone soul for a moment. However, in those moments of solitude, I am able to find some sort of peace and just clear my head of anything obstructing that peace. I can independently think, and focus again on the ongoing lessons God has blessed me with. Although, it is also in the moments of solitude that I can hit some of my seemingly bottomless lows, I survive and suddenly, like a child being helped back up after a fall, I'm delivered into the freedom of Christ once again.
Last night, I spoke with a friend from high school for a good amount of time.
In my high school days, I didn't really associate too much with anybody and though I did relate with some groups of people, including my friend's group, for the most part I kept most of my expression to myself. I would see what these groups of people would go through with life and each other, and alot of times I would get aggravated because alot of their worries, in my opinion, weren't as pressing as mine. At the same time, I wasn't really seeing everything but surely I wasn't humble enough to really sympathize too much with anybody else. In time though, this changed, and I became able to just greet these people with a sincere smile. But anyways, back to last night. Sorry, I tend to ramble.
My friend and I caught up a little bit, and with more detail. One thing I really enjoy about this person is that you can feel how sincere he is about hearing how you've been. We both talked for awhile about recent life happenings and such. Of course, I expressed to him a little about how things have been going in my life lately, briefing describing things here and there. He did the same as well, though probably not as much as I did, but still with honesty. He is about two years younger than me and still in high school. Friendly guy nonetheless, and he seems to be pretty good at what he loves to do. So we talked!..
While we were talking, he was also having a conversation through text with someone else. Alot of things came up through that, and eventually we got to talk more in depth about particular things. Although he is younger by a little bit, a couple things he said that night will always stick to me. We talked about being in relationships, girls and such. One thing he said really got me thinking. He said he prays that the emotions he feels for a girl he is infatuated with instead be directed towards loving God. I totally respect and admire that. It was just another reminder of how important it is to solely focus on loving God, except he chose to word it in such a way that I'll never forget. That really hit home, and hopefully I can embody such a statement.
We continued to talk about more different topics back and forth, mostly relating back to the person texting with. Another thing he brought up was that he felt as if this person (a girl) and him were working towards two seperate goals, at the same time not really seeing the other person's efforts since they are both working for different things in their relationship. He is aiming for a friendship, while this girl seems to want more than that. I really respect the fact that he recognizes certain things about himself that would prevent him from having a good relationship. That is something that we all need to be able to do, to just be critical of yourself enough in order to realize what in your life needs work. By now, I was looking into the outer space of the night sky, pondering on these things.
He seems to be something of an optimistic person. For the most part, it seems that he is able to just look at problems and figure out how to deal with them without dwelling in them. However, although he is able to give many people good and helpful advice, he also admits that at times, he can't take his own advice when he really needs it. True that, it happens to us all. Though he is optimistic, the girl that he has been talking with recently, he says, isn't as positive. She is brought down by alot of her problems, and although my friend would tell her that she'll be okay, she doesn't seem to believe it. My friend tells me that he feels as if there is nothing he can do to help her, as a result. As an optimistic person, he believes that people shouldn't dwell in their problems, for it won't do them any good. Truth be told, that's life.
Of course instead of negativity, it is better to rather find something you love to do and become good at it. It only makes sense. Being reminded of this was very liberating. To get better at what you love to do will take focus, motivation and inspiration but in God's will, it'll be done. The conversation concluded itself and we both just went back to simply chilling at the pad. The night came and went, and finally I was home.
Today, I woke up. I'm getting better. It really is all in my head. "If it is to be, it is up to me." I have alot of work ahead of me, and I may be the only person who will see it through. I need to be on the move, be transformed, and be inspired. I need to let go. I need to love, in the best way. I need to hold on the that ounce of hope. "There is just too much to gain once you get past what you lost." No matter what, God is good.
God is good.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds" - James 1:2
Praise God for all your lives.