Reflecting on the break, and my life...
So this vacation hasn't been the total shit spiral I thought it was going to be. Who knew? Not I..As fate would have it, I've had a rather wonderful time here in Rio actually, well I guess that's what happens when you set the bar low. To be honest, I left Austin in such low spirits, and no offense to any of my friends from Rio, which are like the only one's who are reading this except maybe one or two people, but when I left Ut I was not in a good state of mind. I was perfectly set to be miserable and depressed for the entirety of the break...which in itself would seem to be an eternity. Thank goodness for GOOD friends though (Kathy, Franky, Amador, Matthew, Lianna, Amanda and Kristian...oh and Daniella of course, I love her...lol). I guess I kind of had to work hard to keep myself distracted and busy, the late night coffee and cigarette's definitely helped me to keep my sanity. I mean I came home and you know, the first couple of days did suck, tremendously, but the break progressed and so did my mood.
The first couple days here I had to put up with my sister's psychotic prenatal mood swings. Which I still have to put up with, I was ready to punch her in the face at the mall though. She just kept on picking at me. I however kept myself in check. Then on the way home things turned out cool. It became clear that she was just pissed at her worthless boyfriend. I mean, it was obvious I guess, but I was so busy seeing red that I couldn't see what was really wrong with her. But like brother and sister we didn't need apologies, it was just understood and on the way back we spoke and laughed about things. I still get annoyed every time she asks me to do something small for her...hehe
My family has not made this break easy for me. I mean the first week I moved back (I know this is going to sound like a contradiction) things were so easy. They let me sleep late, and I was left alone for the whole day, but now I have to wake up early, and my father bugs me about getting a hair-cut, and Grrr he's just constantly passing judgment on me, because I probably look bad to the family. And because of what? Because I have long hair...wtf? I'm like the only one in my family who's like really gone to college and did well (I really only barely did ok...but it would've lost it's affect). No, these people are not impressed with intelligence, they're impressed with how well you perform masculine duties, unless you become a doctor then you're golden...they really think I have what it takes, I certainly don't though. They're fools, besides that's not where my passion lies, I love psychology. I love helping people become happier. I sound so delusional. Oh well...
So yeah, back to my break and how I expected to be on the edge of a 100 ft. cliff by now...lol. Next time I get a chance to come to Rio, I won't look at it with disdain, instead I'll be more grateful and just be glad to be home. It's crazy here, it's a small town but there's always something happening. Surprisingly I made friends with someone who I've hated so much for a while. Matthew Clarke. During my senior year I'd hang out with Amador quite a bit, and he'd always have Matthew over, and Matthew was a different person then I guess, but he's different now. He's not so narrow-minded and homophobic. I was impressed when he came over for the first time this break and was civil with me and asked me how school had been in a calm, normal voice, without sarcasm, or insult intended. I get along well with him now, and I'm glad because this break wouldn't have been what it was without him. I wonder how much longer I'm going to be here. I really want to be able to say good-bye to everyone before I go.
Oh yeah, to my friends...I'm sorry that I didn't expect to have a good time in Rio and that I showed up reluctantly. I wanted to get so plastered and just not feel anything. Hmmm....that never happened, but I'm glad it didn't because it would've been for the wrong reasons (not that there are any right reasons for being hammered, except for the sheer fun of it!). But I just want to thank you guys that are reading this and helping me have a good time. I hope I helped you all to cope with the fact that we're here in Rio, around our parents and grounded temporarily. I really had a good time here, and I'm definitely looking forward to the coming break, spring break, because that's going to be 10x better, because...it just will...
GOODNIGHT!!!!! and HAPPY NEW YEAR
~Michael....
The first couple days here I had to put up with my sister's psychotic prenatal mood swings. Which I still have to put up with, I was ready to punch her in the face at the mall though. She just kept on picking at me. I however kept myself in check. Then on the way home things turned out cool. It became clear that she was just pissed at her worthless boyfriend. I mean, it was obvious I guess, but I was so busy seeing red that I couldn't see what was really wrong with her. But like brother and sister we didn't need apologies, it was just understood and on the way back we spoke and laughed about things. I still get annoyed every time she asks me to do something small for her...hehe
My family has not made this break easy for me. I mean the first week I moved back (I know this is going to sound like a contradiction) things were so easy. They let me sleep late, and I was left alone for the whole day, but now I have to wake up early, and my father bugs me about getting a hair-cut, and Grrr he's just constantly passing judgment on me, because I probably look bad to the family. And because of what? Because I have long hair...wtf? I'm like the only one in my family who's like really gone to college and did well (I really only barely did ok...but it would've lost it's affect). No, these people are not impressed with intelligence, they're impressed with how well you perform masculine duties, unless you become a doctor then you're golden...they really think I have what it takes, I certainly don't though. They're fools, besides that's not where my passion lies, I love psychology. I love helping people become happier. I sound so delusional. Oh well...
So yeah, back to my break and how I expected to be on the edge of a 100 ft. cliff by now...lol. Next time I get a chance to come to Rio, I won't look at it with disdain, instead I'll be more grateful and just be glad to be home. It's crazy here, it's a small town but there's always something happening. Surprisingly I made friends with someone who I've hated so much for a while. Matthew Clarke. During my senior year I'd hang out with Amador quite a bit, and he'd always have Matthew over, and Matthew was a different person then I guess, but he's different now. He's not so narrow-minded and homophobic. I was impressed when he came over for the first time this break and was civil with me and asked me how school had been in a calm, normal voice, without sarcasm, or insult intended. I get along well with him now, and I'm glad because this break wouldn't have been what it was without him. I wonder how much longer I'm going to be here. I really want to be able to say good-bye to everyone before I go.
Oh yeah, to my friends...I'm sorry that I didn't expect to have a good time in Rio and that I showed up reluctantly. I wanted to get so plastered and just not feel anything. Hmmm....that never happened, but I'm glad it didn't because it would've been for the wrong reasons (not that there are any right reasons for being hammered, except for the sheer fun of it!). But I just want to thank you guys that are reading this and helping me have a good time. I hope I helped you all to cope with the fact that we're here in Rio, around our parents and grounded temporarily. I really had a good time here, and I'm definitely looking forward to the coming break, spring break, because that's going to be 10x better, because...it just will...
GOODNIGHT!!!!! and HAPPY NEW YEAR
~Michael....