(no subject)
Come on and Surfari with me.
Ok, so here I am, at Sewanee, and I'm absolutely miserable.
That's right, I said it, I'm not excited about college.
Frankly, I've been here for 5 days now, and I have yet to find someone that I can mesh with. I just don't think I have enough Polo shirts, Boat Shoes, bowties, and seersucker shorts to fit in here. I'm not interested in this Old South faux-aristocracy bullshit. It's not that everyone here hasn't been polite, nice, friendly, whatever... I just don't have anything in common with anyone.
I'm living in Trezevant Hall (Trez), on the backside of nowhere, and it's SO hot since only about half the residence halls have AC. I wanted to bunk our beds to create some space, but my roommate wasn't interested. I am, however, going to move my bed so that it doesn't stick out into the doorway. Needless to say, we're kind of cramped.
We heard a speech yesterday about the in-between times, transitions from one stage to the next, and the anxiety that causes. "I cannot express to you the depth of my desire to get there." That's some Orwell for you. In any case, I've decided that my in-between times are the times between my goodbyes and hellos. I belong in Amory. I belong at home. Not so much Amory itself, but just a select group of people there. I'm convinced that I could be happy anywhere in the world if I were surrounded by that group of people. I knew I'd miss things, but I had no idea. I just feel so alone here. Finding one person I clicked with would make it so much easier.
Soccer tryouts... what a disaster. I felt kind of sick the past 3 days, during the tryout, but still =/. Part of it was nerves - I'd get so worked up that I'd feel literally nauseous and couldn't function. The head coach actually sent me to the trainer, thinking I might have mono. Apparently, my bloodpressure isn't stable, and I was prescribed some Tylenol, some rest, and some food I could keep in my stomach. If I was still feeling bad this morning, I was supposed to go to Health Services, but I'm good. Still kind of bummed that I embarassed myself so thoroughly.
Gateway is sending me yet another harddrive, after Mom got on the phone with them. I really should have just let her work her persuasive magic in the first place; no use trying to work with the system. So, in an ironic twist, I'm using Sewanee's library computers to tell the world (or, just Katie and maybe Molly) how much I hate it. Hah, fuckers.
I keep telling myself to keep my chin up, that it will get better...but in the meantime, my fantasies of transeferring to MC right this instant are looking better and better.
Ok, so here I am, at Sewanee, and I'm absolutely miserable.
That's right, I said it, I'm not excited about college.
Frankly, I've been here for 5 days now, and I have yet to find someone that I can mesh with. I just don't think I have enough Polo shirts, Boat Shoes, bowties, and seersucker shorts to fit in here. I'm not interested in this Old South faux-aristocracy bullshit. It's not that everyone here hasn't been polite, nice, friendly, whatever... I just don't have anything in common with anyone.
I'm living in Trezevant Hall (Trez), on the backside of nowhere, and it's SO hot since only about half the residence halls have AC. I wanted to bunk our beds to create some space, but my roommate wasn't interested. I am, however, going to move my bed so that it doesn't stick out into the doorway. Needless to say, we're kind of cramped.
We heard a speech yesterday about the in-between times, transitions from one stage to the next, and the anxiety that causes. "I cannot express to you the depth of my desire to get there." That's some Orwell for you. In any case, I've decided that my in-between times are the times between my goodbyes and hellos. I belong in Amory. I belong at home. Not so much Amory itself, but just a select group of people there. I'm convinced that I could be happy anywhere in the world if I were surrounded by that group of people. I knew I'd miss things, but I had no idea. I just feel so alone here. Finding one person I clicked with would make it so much easier.
Soccer tryouts... what a disaster. I felt kind of sick the past 3 days, during the tryout, but still =/. Part of it was nerves - I'd get so worked up that I'd feel literally nauseous and couldn't function. The head coach actually sent me to the trainer, thinking I might have mono. Apparently, my bloodpressure isn't stable, and I was prescribed some Tylenol, some rest, and some food I could keep in my stomach. If I was still feeling bad this morning, I was supposed to go to Health Services, but I'm good. Still kind of bummed that I embarassed myself so thoroughly.
Gateway is sending me yet another harddrive, after Mom got on the phone with them. I really should have just let her work her persuasive magic in the first place; no use trying to work with the system. So, in an ironic twist, I'm using Sewanee's library computers to tell the world (or, just Katie and maybe Molly) how much I hate it. Hah, fuckers.
I keep telling myself to keep my chin up, that it will get better...but in the meantime, my fantasies of transeferring to MC right this instant are looking better and better.