Ummm....
Well we didn't get to do what i had planned, but that is probably for the better since Josh ended up getting really sick. Not sure the reason but around 9 he just started vomitting. At first I was really scared because it sounded bad. I couldn't imagine how so much was coming from his little stomach. I just sat in bed waiting for it to stop. Eventually he stopped after about 2 attempts to sit down and i offered to get him anything he needed, thats when i realized how much he means to me. i couldn't sleep with out knowing he was okay...i was just lying in bed petting chloe waiting for him to say anything. All i wanted was to be next to him comforting him, i would do anything to make him feel better. Eventually he asked for a glass of juice and then i sat with him. I was about to go to bed again after i could assure myself he would be fine when he said he wanted me to lay with him on the couch for a while. Thats when i had another epiphany. i was at such peace just listening to his heart, feeling him breathe. being next to him and knowing he was okay. i freaked myself out at how much i cared. now i just don't know what to do... i am not sure how well i am going to be able to handle the situation anymore. i guess only time can tell, and only i can make those changes.