survey silliness
It was so nice to see Steph last night, although despite Jesse's reassurances otherwise, the movie Garden State did depress me. Perhaps it was redeemed by the epiphany at the end, but like in real life, I remain unconvinced about the power of love (although I am starting to feel differently).
I am cynical, I am depressed, I am so many of those little negative words that come with the crap I've been through in my life.
Jesse wants me to get a third opinion about my melanoma, as the second doctor (who I felt was a quack) had stated that it could have been benign. I know that I ought to do so... but at the same time, I am stupidly frightened to find out that nothing was really wrong with me and that my arm was disfigured by a surgery that was totally unnecessary.
He is so nice, so optimistic, so generally grounded in reality that he makes me feel both better and worse about everything at once.
I wish it wasn't so cold here already. I feel winter coming in my bones.
I just want to be happy again. Why is that such a difficult task?