Cool Down January
When: 15th of January, 2011 12.12am
Where: Bedroom, with my puppy, Lulu
Conditions: Snow, snow snow, that's all I can say. Also, well more SNOW!
Realizations:
-That sometimes, no matter how hard you want to quickly forget everything, or try to mask it, it wouldn't go away. My brother showed me old pictures in Facebook and lo and behold I saw previous comments from him. And also with that showed a thumbnail of his current (it's so tacky). In other words, I wouldn't even be writing an entry right now if I am not affected. Ergo, apektado pa rin. Letche. That is mainly the reason why I had disconnected myself on the social networking site (except from Twitter). I think it would be easier if there is less "noise" and also to prevent myself from stalking and frustration and further upset.
-See, I don't even want to remember the good times and the bad times. HECK, I want to forget everything about him. Who does he think he is anyway?
-I tried to condition my mind to not think of him by wearing an elastic on my wrist. How does this work? I would flick it (therefore, inflicting pain) whenever I would think of him. Classic conditioning works if you are trying to move on over a bad breakup.
-My anger has dissipated already and found myself calmer than expected. School plus work plus a gym boot camp have occupied my life as of the moment. My cursing has leveled down a bit compared to the incessant fuck yous when I was mad furious.
-I think it's time to write again. 2010 was left completely blank. In those ten months, I have been wanting to write yet I cannot express what I feel. I was in the fast lane...and I thought I was unstoppable. My thoughts were all over the place and I was stressed. I was happy yet I was stressed. Hmm.
-I hope this is the last time that I would blog about my demise. I hate fucking heart aches. I hate being dramatic about it and certainly I hate writing about it.
-I am wishing for better days. Actually, I am wishing for the best days I can ever imagine.
Where: Bedroom, with my puppy, Lulu
Conditions: Snow, snow snow, that's all I can say. Also, well more SNOW!
Realizations:
-That sometimes, no matter how hard you want to quickly forget everything, or try to mask it, it wouldn't go away. My brother showed me old pictures in Facebook and lo and behold I saw previous comments from him. And also with that showed a thumbnail of his current (it's so tacky). In other words, I wouldn't even be writing an entry right now if I am not affected. Ergo, apektado pa rin. Letche. That is mainly the reason why I had disconnected myself on the social networking site (except from Twitter). I think it would be easier if there is less "noise" and also to prevent myself from stalking and frustration and further upset.
-See, I don't even want to remember the good times and the bad times. HECK, I want to forget everything about him. Who does he think he is anyway?
-I tried to condition my mind to not think of him by wearing an elastic on my wrist. How does this work? I would flick it (therefore, inflicting pain) whenever I would think of him. Classic conditioning works if you are trying to move on over a bad breakup.
-My anger has dissipated already and found myself calmer than expected. School plus work plus a gym boot camp have occupied my life as of the moment. My cursing has leveled down a bit compared to the incessant fuck yous when I was mad furious.
-I think it's time to write again. 2010 was left completely blank. In those ten months, I have been wanting to write yet I cannot express what I feel. I was in the fast lane...and I thought I was unstoppable. My thoughts were all over the place and I was stressed. I was happy yet I was stressed. Hmm.
-I hope this is the last time that I would blog about my demise. I hate fucking heart aches. I hate being dramatic about it and certainly I hate writing about it.
-I am wishing for better days. Actually, I am wishing for the best days I can ever imagine.