What A Joke
My Life. It's seemingly turning into a dull, same shit different day dredge through middle class greed. I am making decent money, but for more than an unfair price. I'm not happy, I have no say in what I do, even if they ask me before they set me upon some task. I'm constantly worried that if I say no then I won't have a job anymore. I'm not worried that I won't find another job, I'm worried that I won't find another job that pays as well. That is pure greed, but I would like to live on my own sooner or later here, ya know? *sigh* I have no more personal life besides wishing I was talking to Mike and talking every once in a while with Doug, a person who invariably shows up randomly in my life, and I'm not sure I really mind. He's kind of cute, and really nice, and from what I can judge of his personality, he's a sweetheart. I plan to use him to occupy time, which is sort of mean, but if he has no true romantic motive and just get some and hang out motives, than I see no harm in me pursuing him. I will never deny that I am in love with Mike, but I become more and more dissapointed in myself every day for this, because it seems now every time I call him he does not want to be talking to me. Try as I might, every time I reach for that cell phone to dial him, I try to slap my hand and do something else. It's harder than hard, but I suppose I can do it. I'm just afraid if I do, he's going to think that it is I that don't want to talk to him, not vice versa. *double sigh* I am really sick of listening to P. whine about how she's too old for this shit she's supposed to be retired blah blah blah... and I've only been listening to it for a day and a half. That is a day and a half too many if you ask me. She retired from the job once, and she only has this job because her son bought her a condo and she has to pay him rent for it. She worked for a weight loss clinic after retiring, but they fired her for gaining weight. That kind of pisses me off, but who am I to say you can't fire someone for going against your store motives? From the sounds of it she doesn't need the whole salary she is getting paid presently to bitch and moan about her job, which now consists of hampering my productivity on completing the paperwork for ship direct orders for engines and other assorted packaged automotive parts. We work until a little after eight pm, and she bitches every moment she stays over the scheduled eight pm. I should be in my nightie by now watching tv blah blah blah blah blah.....
Ugh....
Ugh....