(no subject)
EDIT: i talked with kaylee a bit ago, & jonathan and jason hung out with her some last night, & they actually discussed me and jonathan. now i know why jonathan wants (realizes?) we need to talk -- kaylee pretty much told him that we need to, ha. she told him it's not fair to me, nor to him, and that i'm just as confused as he is. he said he was afraid of getting really close to me, because i'm leaving in over a month. that makes sense, it really does. but now, i dunno. i just feel so sad about all of this. shoot me now, eh? okay, great. [/edit]
so thanks to all who commented on my last entry... i really didn't expect anyone to say anything, really, so it was a pleasant surprise. hecckkk yeah. so, thanks again.
i just got off the phone with him again, actually... somehow, someway, we ended up talking about something... like, relationship wise, i guess. & he told me he was scared, & i replied, "aw, you're scared? ... really?" & he sort of paused for a second & said, "yeah, but.. that's a face-to-face conversation" & i just said, "ah, okay, i understand. no problem". i mean, i got the jist of it, you know? now i know that he wants to talk, too.
& the way i see it... it's either really good, or really bad. i mean, it's one of the extremes, right? what else could it be? -shrug-
i'm not so much scared as i am anxious... to see what he has to say, how he feels, etc. so, i guess something to look forward to. [/sarcasm]
he said he'd call me back again later tonight. & i said, "hey, i'd love you to, but i don't want you to feel obligated to do so, y'know?" & he said, "oh, no. i do it because i want to. i want to....". cheryl said she has a good feeling about all of this, & i sort of do too, but i am refusing to let myself dwell on that. i just can't.. i can't get my hopes up. but cheryl said something so cute! i said something like, "i know this sounds so corny & retarded, but it's so true... i mean, he makes me so happy. he really, really does" & she goes, "and you know lauren, i can tell. i can tell he makes you really happy. & that's important. you two talk, and communication is so important".
ANYWAY. shutting up now! had a busy day, but a good day, i'd say. steaks tonight. i love me some steaks. mmmboy. AND CRAP.
i got a new cell phone. it's a picture phone, but because cingular sucks ass, it's a KANSAS number. !!!!! i know, i know. i think it's pretty damn ridiculous, but there's not a lot i can do. i COULD switch over to dad's plan, but that won't happen. i'm okay. gah. bye! <3
so thanks to all who commented on my last entry... i really didn't expect anyone to say anything, really, so it was a pleasant surprise. hecckkk yeah. so, thanks again.
i just got off the phone with him again, actually... somehow, someway, we ended up talking about something... like, relationship wise, i guess. & he told me he was scared, & i replied, "aw, you're scared? ... really?" & he sort of paused for a second & said, "yeah, but.. that's a face-to-face conversation" & i just said, "ah, okay, i understand. no problem". i mean, i got the jist of it, you know? now i know that he wants to talk, too.
& the way i see it... it's either really good, or really bad. i mean, it's one of the extremes, right? what else could it be? -shrug-
i'm not so much scared as i am anxious... to see what he has to say, how he feels, etc. so, i guess something to look forward to. [/sarcasm]
he said he'd call me back again later tonight. & i said, "hey, i'd love you to, but i don't want you to feel obligated to do so, y'know?" & he said, "oh, no. i do it because i want to. i want to....". cheryl said she has a good feeling about all of this, & i sort of do too, but i am refusing to let myself dwell on that. i just can't.. i can't get my hopes up. but cheryl said something so cute! i said something like, "i know this sounds so corny & retarded, but it's so true... i mean, he makes me so happy. he really, really does" & she goes, "and you know lauren, i can tell. i can tell he makes you really happy. & that's important. you two talk, and communication is so important".
ANYWAY. shutting up now! had a busy day, but a good day, i'd say. steaks tonight. i love me some steaks. mmmboy. AND CRAP.
i got a new cell phone. it's a picture phone, but because cingular sucks ass, it's a KANSAS number. !!!!! i know, i know. i think it's pretty damn ridiculous, but there's not a lot i can do. i COULD switch over to dad's plan, but that won't happen. i'm okay. gah. bye! <3