209 - What are you afraid of?
[private entry]
It was once suggested that I should be a Green Lantern. The fact is, I’ll never get a ring. Overcoming fear. That isn’t really something I’ve been able to do.
I’m afraid of the Joker. I’m afraid that he’ll come back and try to finish me off. I’m afraid that he’ll hurt another one of my friends. I’m afraid of myself, and of what he took from me.
There’s a reason why my home has such high security. Why I keep permanent surveillance on the Joker. Why I triple check now before I open a door.
I know I should just be able to accept things and move on, but there are some things that you just can’t get over. What the Joker did to me is something that no sane person would ever be able to get over.
I know a lot of people who have the ability to overcome fear, to move past things. But the shooting, the Joker… it defined a lot of who I am and the person who I’ve become. And most of all, I’m afraid of how helpless I feel whenever the Joker has escaped. It doesn’t matter how much security I have watching him, how good my alarms are, I’m still afraid that I will look up and he’ll be there.
He’ll always be there.
It was once suggested that I should be a Green Lantern. The fact is, I’ll never get a ring. Overcoming fear. That isn’t really something I’ve been able to do.
I’m afraid of the Joker. I’m afraid that he’ll come back and try to finish me off. I’m afraid that he’ll hurt another one of my friends. I’m afraid of myself, and of what he took from me.
There’s a reason why my home has such high security. Why I keep permanent surveillance on the Joker. Why I triple check now before I open a door.
I know I should just be able to accept things and move on, but there are some things that you just can’t get over. What the Joker did to me is something that no sane person would ever be able to get over.
I know a lot of people who have the ability to overcome fear, to move past things. But the shooting, the Joker… it defined a lot of who I am and the person who I’ve become. And most of all, I’m afraid of how helpless I feel whenever the Joker has escaped. It doesn’t matter how much security I have watching him, how good my alarms are, I’m still afraid that I will look up and he’ll be there.
He’ll always be there.