(no subject)
Everything is disheartening right now. I'm trying to get back into drawing and I'm just miserably horrible. I had some good self-esteem (in general) going for awhile there but with the breakup and this recent Justin fuckery I just feel helpless, dumb, and ugly. It doesn't really make sense because in both cases it was absolutely the guy's problem but I feel shitty nonetheless. I am so not ready for another week at work, where the levels of bullshit are reaching critical mass. Sometimes I'm tempted to just give them the big "fuck you" and walk out one day, but I really don't want to move back in with my parents or whatever other stupid housing option I'd have.
So far I haven't been lonely living by myself but I get the feeling it'll kick in soon. I need to get a Netflix account or something because just having the Internet isn't cutting it. But for some reason I don't usually watch movies by myself. Fuck. Sometimes my brain keeps going back to Scott just because it would be easy. Nevermind that I wasn't happy. I just don't have it in me to throw myself out there on the dating merket. Well, I guess I do when I'm drunk, but all that happens afterwards is everyone sees me being a dumbass in Facebook pictures and I get called a "bar skank" by my brother. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm not allowed to have fun and get wasted every so often and dance my fat ass off.
Hooray for alcoholism. Hooray for mediocrity. Hooray for dissatisfaction. Fuck you, life. I'd rather be in the womb.
So far I haven't been lonely living by myself but I get the feeling it'll kick in soon. I need to get a Netflix account or something because just having the Internet isn't cutting it. But for some reason I don't usually watch movies by myself. Fuck. Sometimes my brain keeps going back to Scott just because it would be easy. Nevermind that I wasn't happy. I just don't have it in me to throw myself out there on the dating merket. Well, I guess I do when I'm drunk, but all that happens afterwards is everyone sees me being a dumbass in Facebook pictures and I get called a "bar skank" by my brother. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm not allowed to have fun and get wasted every so often and dance my fat ass off.
Hooray for alcoholism. Hooray for mediocrity. Hooray for dissatisfaction. Fuck you, life. I'd rather be in the womb.