my first completed fanfic,read if you dare:p
it's going to get submitted(finally) to the Libraray of Moria; I know I keep saying that but it's because I hadn't had it finished till now. Stayed up till 1am getting it hashed out,it could use some more work but I don't like to tweak it too much and stretch it out with rewrites. It's art pure and simple,I did get my history homeowork done between writing.
Still have to fix the spelling of names from the books:p will do that before submitting.
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Title: The Mending of Ways
Rating- PG-13, for attempted suicide and hinted at sexual assault
Summary: After returning from the quest to destroy the Ring, Sam and Frodo settled into life at Bag End. But all is not as it seems and in life there are no “happily ever after”
Disclaimer: JRR Toilkien created and owns these characters; I’m just borrowing them for a bit.
Dedication: to my friends (far and near) thanks for all the support, to my girlfriend-you’re my compass starJ
Than there was the time Sam came inside, after a long afternoon of gardening and realized Frodo was not completely all right. The quest had left him with many scars but none ran as deep as the ones picked up in Cirgth Uagol. He found Frodo surrounded by neat rows of white pills. The kind typically taken for a headache but in the number amassed on the floor of the study would render him stone dead in short order. Sam moved as if in a nightmare, his arms and legs heavy and slow. He quickly scooped up the pills and dropped them into his trouser pockets, as he moved closer he noticed a vacant look in Frodo’s eyes. The pain in his head must have set his mind wondering far off into its own depths again; into places Sam for all his willingness to help could not follow. “After what they did, I figured you wouldn’t want me around; stained as I am. Tainted beyond all healing, I am truly horrible!” the last word erupted as a scream from Frodo’s mouth and he fell forward sobbing. Not allowing the pain in his eyes and heart to show, Sam moved to hold him; it tore his heart fresh every time Frodo was like that. The time for yelling and accusing was long over, for he had learned early on that what had been done was no fault of Frodo’s. His lover was battling with something far darker and deeper than anything they’d encountered on their quest.
“Now that’s not true” Sam began slowly, using the only weapon he had; his love and straight forward personality. “Remember, remember love? That day at Minas Tirath; when Pip and Merry and us where all treated like kings. Master Aragorn even had everyone bow to us; why even Shadow Fax and Bill bent there knees. Twas a sight to last a thousand years; you are remembering. I can see the smile there” He paused to trace Frodo’s upturned mouth with his thumb before gently kissing him; when he drew back Frodo settled deeper into his arms. The frenzy that had overwhelmed him earlier was slowly draining away; it was a feeling like the air before a great thunder storm. Tense, tainted and heavy with fear, Sam tightened his grip and continued talking. There was more healing to do and he wouldn’t stop till Frodo had full returned from whatever dark place the memories had sent him.
“Now if it really, truly had been your time to leave this earth Fro; the Lady would not have granted you the strength to finish the quest after Cirgth Uagol. Aye you’re made of stout stuff; it saw you through all of that and back again. To Minas Tirth where we pledged our vows before returning home to the Shire.” A laugh caught unexpectedly in his throat and Frodo’s eyes held a glint of amusement. “You thinking what I am love? Of how Merry caught the flowers you tossed and pretended to faint into Pip’s arms. Always the trickster those two.” Frodo slowly nodded and smiled again, he was making his way back from the dark places in his mind. Heartened by this small gesture, Sam took up his story again. “ Seriously now, I gave you my heart during that long journey; knowing somehow you would return it to me more times over than I could dare imagine. “I felt” Frodo began slowly, sitting up and looking at Sam; not dropping his intense gaze. “I didn’t deserve this” slowly he opened his fingers to reveal the elivish silver and sapphire heart he wore as a symbol of their union. For rings and him had a bad history and they had chosen instead to allow Elenrod to craft silver heart pendants for them. “Now I do, please forgive me for ever doubting”, the rest of his words where consumed by tears and Frodo once again dissolved into anguish.
“Forgive?” “There is nothing to, just know. Always know what they did to you doesn’t change my love or respect of you in any way. Not now or ever.” Sam said firmly as he fastened the chain the held the heart around Frodo’s neck and let him cry. For not all tears are poison and he’d puzzled together what had been done to his lover inside the Orc fortress; Frodo had slowly told him and the news made Sam’s blood turn to ice in his veins. Twas good to let him speak no matter the pain it’s caused me, a tree can’t grow in shade my Da always said. And keeping all those memories locked away would have fair killed him in the end. Sam mused as he rocked Frodo and offered what comfort he had. Always afraid it was the wrong type or that it would set off a fresh flood of dark memories and pain.
In the gathering dusk, Sam sensed Frodo was finally back from wherever he had been and slowly helped him to the dinner table and supper. “I’ll be right back, just have to go check that the garden gate is latched for the night” Sam said as he hurried out the door and into the gardens. He stopped in the far corner, beside a little stream that snaked its way under the fence and around a willow tree. A good spot to be alone with his fears, reaching into his pocket he felt the hated pills. And slowly began to drop them into the swift moving water, tears traced his cheeks as he let them fall. Once they where swept away, he let out a cry born of anger and frustration. He never let Frodo see how much all of this affected him; this was something private; that maybe in time he prayed he could share with Merry and Pippin. For keeping it to him was a growing burden, every day he prayed to the Lady to give him back the Frodo he knew and cherished. Truly he was great full for what he had gotten, for Frodo could have not returned at all.
Back inside he paused at the doorway of the kitchen and smiled at the sight that greeted him, a balm for his shattered nerves. There sat Frodo deftly balancing a roll on his butter knife, before snatching it up and gulping it down with a satisfied sigh. His knack for recovering after each attack of memories cheered Sam’s heart; the dark would have no hold for long over such a stout and loving soul. He silently vowed as he moved to hug Frodo that he would give him all the love he could spare every day; to encourage him back to life and the world. “You never cease to amaze me Frodo Baggins” he said as he settled into the chair next to Frodo; “you can learn everything there is to know about a hobbit in one day. But fall in love with one and every day is a new adventure.” They lifted their mugs of cider in a silent toast.
-End