She keeps repeating
I'm still in school (some days it's tempting to just stay in bed) and it's actually going quite well. I'm proud of myself for that.
I don't know if I'm just projecting things onto Rob but I feel on edge. I've been given little if no reason to doubt him. But from all the shit in my past I can't seem to let the racing thoughts go! I feel like a terrible person for getting angry at him for stupid shit. the other day minutes after I logged into myspace he signed off, so I got pissed and thought that cuz I was on he had to leave. I'd called him earlier that day but hadn't gotten a call back yet. He called me up a little later to tell me that he's fallen asleep after work and then when he signed off it was to shower. man I felt stupid. Last night when he was over I asked him if he liked me being his girlfriend (how lame!) then told him that if he wanted to be with someone else he just had to tell me. He told me that yes he liked me being with him and to shoosh about the seeing other people and that was that. Can anyone recommend a good therapist?! Seriously I have no idea why I'm doing this! James thoughts from you, you tend to be quite insightful! I feel stupid bringing these feelings and thoughts up to Rob. I guess this just proves that all this front of me being so secure is a facade. I don't know why I'm so insecure. If things don't work out with Rob I'm not afraid that I'll never find someone else. Fuck I hate being such a headcase. Maybe all this is because we aren't spending as much time together as we did in the beginning of the relationship. Work and home obligations have definatly put a strain on things. Most of our time together anymore is usually spent at my house watching TV or talking then falling asleep on the living room floor for a while. fuck, I don't know, I feel dumb as shit. There is just so much other shit going on in my life that might be making any insecurities worse. eh, I'll deal with this eventually.
I'm excited because I finally started to weight train. It'll give me something to do when I have days off of work and Rob isn't around. (yes I do have a boring life and right now I don't mind).
Plenty of good things coming up on my schedule tho! The Response is playing at the mirimar next Tuesday, I'm skipping out of work for that. My friend's wedding is coming up this following weekend. Some other shows I can't remember off the top of my head. Good shit like that.
Speaking of Response...Went to their show last night. They didn't play until last so I sat out in their van with them, in assorted groups (they'd leave to talk to people, drink, pee, etc.) I laughed so hard, it was great. The jokes and dirty jokes and dirtier comments were flowing. good times, good times.
yea, whatever.
I don't know if I'm just projecting things onto Rob but I feel on edge. I've been given little if no reason to doubt him. But from all the shit in my past I can't seem to let the racing thoughts go! I feel like a terrible person for getting angry at him for stupid shit. the other day minutes after I logged into myspace he signed off, so I got pissed and thought that cuz I was on he had to leave. I'd called him earlier that day but hadn't gotten a call back yet. He called me up a little later to tell me that he's fallen asleep after work and then when he signed off it was to shower. man I felt stupid. Last night when he was over I asked him if he liked me being his girlfriend (how lame!) then told him that if he wanted to be with someone else he just had to tell me. He told me that yes he liked me being with him and to shoosh about the seeing other people and that was that. Can anyone recommend a good therapist?! Seriously I have no idea why I'm doing this! James thoughts from you, you tend to be quite insightful! I feel stupid bringing these feelings and thoughts up to Rob. I guess this just proves that all this front of me being so secure is a facade. I don't know why I'm so insecure. If things don't work out with Rob I'm not afraid that I'll never find someone else. Fuck I hate being such a headcase. Maybe all this is because we aren't spending as much time together as we did in the beginning of the relationship. Work and home obligations have definatly put a strain on things. Most of our time together anymore is usually spent at my house watching TV or talking then falling asleep on the living room floor for a while. fuck, I don't know, I feel dumb as shit. There is just so much other shit going on in my life that might be making any insecurities worse. eh, I'll deal with this eventually.
I'm excited because I finally started to weight train. It'll give me something to do when I have days off of work and Rob isn't around. (yes I do have a boring life and right now I don't mind).
Plenty of good things coming up on my schedule tho! The Response is playing at the mirimar next Tuesday, I'm skipping out of work for that. My friend's wedding is coming up this following weekend. Some other shows I can't remember off the top of my head. Good shit like that.
Speaking of Response...Went to their show last night. They didn't play until last so I sat out in their van with them, in assorted groups (they'd leave to talk to people, drink, pee, etc.) I laughed so hard, it was great. The jokes and dirty jokes and dirtier comments were flowing. good times, good times.
yea, whatever.