(no subject)
i'm in . . . a blah mood.
- - have you ever looked in the mirror & seen someone else looking back at you? your features are the same, your smiles are the same.. but you still question who that person truely is..? i did that. i've been doing that. i see myself, with all my flaws first, before i see anything else. i see a girl, with a long list of mistakes & bruises//scars all over her body.
-i wish i could see what others see when they look at me. its pretty bad when someone tells me that i'm beautiful, i believe that they're just saying that to be nice, or to get down my pants. (a little out there, but its what goes through my mind)
i don't know what i'm getting out of this entry, but .. i've always wanted to write something inspirational, or meaningful, and everything always turns out to be the same. .. i'm tired of being the same, i wanna be different. I want someone to look over my entries and think.. how this girl is unlike any girl that i've ever heard of, or known. i want people to remember me, not just by my mistakes, but by my thoughts. i'm scared to let people know the real me, becaue i'm affraid that they're going to reject me. i'm terrified of rejection, but i'm tired of ... this lifestyle of only letting a few people truely know the real me. my thoughts, my dreams, hopes for the future, past mistakes.. everything.
- again, i'm in the strangest of moods. its a new mood though. something that i haven't felt. strange.
so, if any of you reading this, have ever wanted to ask me something, .. ask me. I won't hold anything back... just be prepared, because some of my answers to your questions might not be.. what you wanted to hear.
idk, i need another cup of coffee.
<3
- - have you ever looked in the mirror & seen someone else looking back at you? your features are the same, your smiles are the same.. but you still question who that person truely is..? i did that. i've been doing that. i see myself, with all my flaws first, before i see anything else. i see a girl, with a long list of mistakes & bruises//scars all over her body.
-i wish i could see what others see when they look at me. its pretty bad when someone tells me that i'm beautiful, i believe that they're just saying that to be nice, or to get down my pants. (a little out there, but its what goes through my mind)
i don't know what i'm getting out of this entry, but .. i've always wanted to write something inspirational, or meaningful, and everything always turns out to be the same. .. i'm tired of being the same, i wanna be different. I want someone to look over my entries and think.. how this girl is unlike any girl that i've ever heard of, or known. i want people to remember me, not just by my mistakes, but by my thoughts. i'm scared to let people know the real me, becaue i'm affraid that they're going to reject me. i'm terrified of rejection, but i'm tired of ... this lifestyle of only letting a few people truely know the real me. my thoughts, my dreams, hopes for the future, past mistakes.. everything.
- again, i'm in the strangest of moods. its a new mood though. something that i haven't felt. strange.
so, if any of you reading this, have ever wanted to ask me something, .. ask me. I won't hold anything back... just be prepared, because some of my answers to your questions might not be.. what you wanted to hear.
idk, i need another cup of coffee.
<3