Dammit PART TWO
Well, when we got together, we continued our drinking, just not alone. >_> At some point early on, I started realizing that Shannon would forget entire parts of a day spent together, often having no clue what I was talking about when I would reference a conversations we had. Often important ones. Even worse, she'd forget, well, lets just say that my memory of our time together is probably many times longer than hers. Our drinking was clearly becoming a big problem. The entire time, we knew that she had to leave for school in Canada very soon, so the general attitude was Fuck it! Lets have the best time we can in the short-ass time we have! Then- she had to go. I accepted that, I was disappointed, but I'm a grown man. I knew she had to leave for school. I never once asked her to stay, although of course thats exactly what I wanted. We talked every day for months while she was in Canada. We both continued drinking as well. We made plans for me to visit, to go to Anime North, all kinds of things. Maybe we couldn't be together, but at least we could be best friends. Then the news! She was coming back down! Well hot damn. We talked about it, and decided that this time we would limit our drinking, and go out and do other things together. We both wanted to get our life straight, and stumbling around every night certainly wasnt going to do that.
Well, as soon as I saw her for the first time back in Raleigh, I knew something was wrong. Did she run up and glomph me? Anything? No. She smiled, but that was really it. We started to spend time together again, but she just wasnt the same. Her sense of humor became occasionally insulting and she wasn't affectionate at all. Id pick her up or drive to see her in the middle of the night only to have her sit and watch @#$ing asian boyband videos for hours with me trying to just be with her. It was absolutely ridiculous. If I heard about a friend being in this position, I'd rag him to no end. Apparently she really couldn't see what it was doing to me, or didn't care.
I hate to say it, but I started us drinking again, even though I really didnt want to. I hated drinking again all the time- It made me feel like shit, and I wasn't concentrating on doing the things I need to do. But- whenever we were drunk, shed act the way she used to, be affectionate, wed have fun! What the hell was I thinking- I should have known right there that for whatever reason we were dead. We finally had a talk about what we were, were we dating? Boyfriend/girlfriend? Obviously it would only be until she left for Canada again, but I needed to know- I had blown off several nice girls because I wanted to spend what time I had with Shannon. She agreed that while she was down we were dating. I bet money that she doesn't even remember that conversation. Well, we had spent all of our time inside since she came down -with the exception of Mura on Valentine's- so we decided we needed to go out and do something fun. My friends had a few parties lined up, and I really wanted to show her a good time (And get this-she had never seen me take over a dance floor. Those of you who've known me for awhile know how weird that is). Well, days go by and I don't know where she is. Then a couple more days. I end up going to party without her, instead of sitting at home like a fool. Well, I found out where she was all right.
She was busy fucking the bartender at Carinos. In fact, she ended up sleeping with this guy the very same day that she had rolled out of my bed. Apparently she got really drunk, and hooked up with him after work at some house party. Of course, she had a crush on him for awhile apparently. Not only did she do it, but she bragged about it.
I was literally, physically dropped where I stood. I was wrecked. I mean, if she moved away again, ended up starting to see someone and eventually got in a relationship, thats one thing. But this was vile. I had to immediately drive to Carinos and confront her. I hated to go to her job, but she was obviously making no effort to talk to me at all.
When I saw her she put on a smile and walked up to me. I looked her dead in the eye and asked her "How *could* you?" She acted like she had no idea what I meant. I spelled it out for her and she still acted like she was oblivious. Finally she realized that I 100% knew, and admitted to it. She exclaimed that she was sorry, she felt like shit about it, that she was completely drunk and that there was *no way* she would have done it sober. Talk about the oldest excuse in the book. Everyone knows that you use alcohol to feel better about doing something you want to do, but know you shouldn't. I leave because really I don't want to make a scene at her job, with the understanding that shed call me. <>
Well, as soon as I saw her for the first time back in Raleigh, I knew something was wrong. Did she run up and glomph me? Anything? No. She smiled, but that was really it. We started to spend time together again, but she just wasnt the same. Her sense of humor became occasionally insulting and she wasn't affectionate at all. Id pick her up or drive to see her in the middle of the night only to have her sit and watch @#$ing asian boyband videos for hours with me trying to just be with her. It was absolutely ridiculous. If I heard about a friend being in this position, I'd rag him to no end. Apparently she really couldn't see what it was doing to me, or didn't care.
I hate to say it, but I started us drinking again, even though I really didnt want to. I hated drinking again all the time- It made me feel like shit, and I wasn't concentrating on doing the things I need to do. But- whenever we were drunk, shed act the way she used to, be affectionate, wed have fun! What the hell was I thinking- I should have known right there that for whatever reason we were dead. We finally had a talk about what we were, were we dating? Boyfriend/girlfriend? Obviously it would only be until she left for Canada again, but I needed to know- I had blown off several nice girls because I wanted to spend what time I had with Shannon. She agreed that while she was down we were dating. I bet money that she doesn't even remember that conversation. Well, we had spent all of our time inside since she came down -with the exception of Mura on Valentine's- so we decided we needed to go out and do something fun. My friends had a few parties lined up, and I really wanted to show her a good time (And get this-she had never seen me take over a dance floor. Those of you who've known me for awhile know how weird that is). Well, days go by and I don't know where she is. Then a couple more days. I end up going to party without her, instead of sitting at home like a fool. Well, I found out where she was all right.
She was busy fucking the bartender at Carinos. In fact, she ended up sleeping with this guy the very same day that she had rolled out of my bed. Apparently she got really drunk, and hooked up with him after work at some house party. Of course, she had a crush on him for awhile apparently. Not only did she do it, but she bragged about it.
I was literally, physically dropped where I stood. I was wrecked. I mean, if she moved away again, ended up starting to see someone and eventually got in a relationship, thats one thing. But this was vile. I had to immediately drive to Carinos and confront her. I hated to go to her job, but she was obviously making no effort to talk to me at all.
When I saw her she put on a smile and walked up to me. I looked her dead in the eye and asked her "How *could* you?" She acted like she had no idea what I meant. I spelled it out for her and she still acted like she was oblivious. Finally she realized that I 100% knew, and admitted to it. She exclaimed that she was sorry, she felt like shit about it, that she was completely drunk and that there was *no way* she would have done it sober. Talk about the oldest excuse in the book. Everyone knows that you use alcohol to feel better about doing something you want to do, but know you shouldn't. I leave because really I don't want to make a scene at her job, with the understanding that shed call me. <>