(Untitled)

[ophicleide]

Merry fuckin' Christmas season to all your hos!! Yesterday dad took me to a shopping centre where I sat on Santa's lap. He looked a little scared. And then we finished our Christmas shopping (I hope you like blueberry flavoured lube, Lols) and then I talked to an elf named Devon. She was a cheeky little bitch, I liked her! She said 'Santa' was

Comments

[twilightrobe]

Lucky Smithy. I know Devon, actually, she's a cutie. I swear, someone's shrinking London and they're just not telling us about it.

Sucks it's gonna take so long to get into the place, but at least you've got one lined up.

[ophicleide]

She was wearing ELF CLOTHES. In a shopping centre. She was kinda hard to miss. Real cutie though, true!

Yeah. I just want to get out of this flat.

[twilightrobe]

She's got balls, that girl, that's for sure.

Yeah? What's up with the flat, sweetheart?

[ophicleide]

Balls and bells.

I just don't like it.

By the way? I'm not sweet.

[eligible_boy]

If every Santa were so lucky, I might consider taking up the profession myself ;)

[ophicleide]

I'll sit on your lap and tell you how naughty I've been anyway.

[eligible_boy]

I'll have the candy ready.

[ophicleide]

I'll bet you will, Tiger. Be there soon. And you better speak French to me.