(no subject)
Seedlings of ideas tonight. You'll have to forgive me if I ramble.
I had coffee with a good friend of mine tonight and as things normally do with me, the conversation turned to religion for a time. Between that conversation and another one on Sunday I'm starting to form something. I like group worship. I feel uncomfortable worshipping by myself. Its nice, but its just not enough for me. The thing I miss the most about organized religion is that group worship, that energy, that community. I've looked around at covens but to be honest I'm not really interested in magic or ritual work. Its not my thing. I respect it, but I think you have to accept a lot of responsibility when you do those things...and I just dont want that responsibility. My ideal would be to have something like a church for pagans. I want to stand with others, hands raised in the air as we sing praises to sunlight and rain. I am a charismatic pagan. I want to worship the divine with you, I want to worship the divine in you, I want to worship the divine in me. And I cant do that by myself. Not nearly as well as I can do it with you. I just dont want to organize it. So I sit and wait for somebody else to do it. And its taking forever. So I tell myself well it will be better when the kids come. I'll have my family, and I can worship with them. At least for a while until the kids get older and go ohhh mom do we haaave to? Thats something I look forward to so much in having a family. But what about my family now? I have a tribe of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles. And I wonder if anybody else wants to worship too. But I dont really want to organize a church. Again, I dont want the responsibility. But I wonder if I held home worship on certain holidays, if anyone else would come over and sing with me and tell stories with me and drum with me. I wonder if I could come out and say "Hey, lets do a Full Moon at my place" and not have people come over for a party, but have people come over to sing and tell stories and praise. And have it mean something. Because nobody else seems to be out there doing what I need. And it will be a few years before the kids are just that right age, between being too young and being apathetic. I'm patient, I can wait. But I'd really rather not.
I had coffee with a good friend of mine tonight and as things normally do with me, the conversation turned to religion for a time. Between that conversation and another one on Sunday I'm starting to form something. I like group worship. I feel uncomfortable worshipping by myself. Its nice, but its just not enough for me. The thing I miss the most about organized religion is that group worship, that energy, that community. I've looked around at covens but to be honest I'm not really interested in magic or ritual work. Its not my thing. I respect it, but I think you have to accept a lot of responsibility when you do those things...and I just dont want that responsibility. My ideal would be to have something like a church for pagans. I want to stand with others, hands raised in the air as we sing praises to sunlight and rain. I am a charismatic pagan. I want to worship the divine with you, I want to worship the divine in you, I want to worship the divine in me. And I cant do that by myself. Not nearly as well as I can do it with you. I just dont want to organize it. So I sit and wait for somebody else to do it. And its taking forever. So I tell myself well it will be better when the kids come. I'll have my family, and I can worship with them. At least for a while until the kids get older and go ohhh mom do we haaave to? Thats something I look forward to so much in having a family. But what about my family now? I have a tribe of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles. And I wonder if anybody else wants to worship too. But I dont really want to organize a church. Again, I dont want the responsibility. But I wonder if I held home worship on certain holidays, if anyone else would come over and sing with me and tell stories with me and drum with me. I wonder if I could come out and say "Hey, lets do a Full Moon at my place" and not have people come over for a party, but have people come over to sing and tell stories and praise. And have it mean something. Because nobody else seems to be out there doing what I need. And it will be a few years before the kids are just that right age, between being too young and being apathetic. I'm patient, I can wait. But I'd really rather not.