(no subject)
Jo and my sister are flying in in a few hours. Because my mother told me she was going to be here Saturday. Which probably means today since my mother would never actually tell me the correct time if she was trying to teach me a lesson.
Teach me a damn lesson. Like she didn't actually threaten to take my daughter from me if I didn't do what she said.
When I first found out my mother was alive, all I wanted was to talk to her. I was 18 but I still felt very much like a kid. I wanted my mother. I was willing to overlook her trying to kill me because I was just so happy that my mom wasn't dead. But she prioritized her life over everyone else's. She told me if I wanted to see her I would have to go to Italy and stay there. Because that's where she and her lover were and she wasn't going to come see me. And when I finally saw her, when I was working an international tour, she had the audacity to get pissed off that I wouldn't drop everything for her. She wanted me to abandon my job, my family, my life. She put up this guise of free love and "of course you can do whatever you want" because she was an Italian poet now. But any time we spoke she tried to make me feel guilty for abandoningher. "If after years I found my mother alive when I'd thought her dead I would do anything to be with her. I suppose your father raised you differently without me."
She never apologized to me for anything. She never explained anything. I asked. I asked why. All she could say was, "when you have experienced true love and ultimate betrayal it will become clear." Really? Yeah. Yeah that's her explanation. That only ever accompanied, "I'm sorry you don't understand."
And now she's trying to pretend to be the concerned grandmother. I'm a pretty calm guy most of the time. But this has me on edge and when I get on edge I can be a scary guy to be around. I think Ali house_of_rain and Jared jaggedjared will be grateful for Jo and Gwyn being here.