(no subject)
Avoidance. Avoidance is the true root of all of my problems. For instance, I keep meaning to research how to undo learned helplessness. I’ve spent hours upon hours researching adhd, but not about properly controlling it on my own. It’s easier to throw up my hands and say I’m a fuck up than to try. I would rather be an anxious failure my whole life than to try and be unsuccessful. I’m such a perfectionist that I rarely get started because then I can’t screw up. I’m a fucking nightmare of a person.