I think you've made huge progress, between the first time I read your entries and this time. This is a really neat premise! I love the part where you emphasize everything is not real - and then also mention that the stage isn't.
The only suggestion would be to not say the part about the fifteen-year-old girl so explicitly - it's implied in the first part (and I love the idea of someone being an Imaginer). Otherwise, it's wonderful! I like this entry a lot.
Thanks a lot! :D Reading this really made my day. Writing something this...different from what I usually do made me a bit hesitant at first but I glad that it payed off. Also, I'm glad that people can see progress in my work. I'm glad to know that I'm growing somehow :)
I'll do that correction when I completely edit this. Thanks for the suggestion and the comments :D
I hope you like me as an editor because I’m stepping in to do this one as well… *cringes*
Technically, in this world, names were just an illusion. Nothingness doesn’t have a name.
I was gonna comment on the lack of naming Alfred at the very beginning, but then I read this and was like, “Oooooh.” And I really like this idea! Very much so in fact.
They were both just props, two of the many the Imaginer used when she played with Alfred and all the other characters’ lives.
Okay, please excuse this moment of fangirl squeeing: OMG I LOVE STORIES LIKE THIS SO MUCH.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s continue on a more professional note. I don’t care how many times this concept’s been done before, I love it to pieces. I think it not only makes for an entertaining read but it’s also an idea that’s relatable to ANYONE of an artistic bent. I also think what makes this concept so unique is the writer behind it - how they see their creative world.
At this, he turned towards Anne who was watching him from the side of the stage and
( ... )
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I'll edit everything you pointed out. Thanks again for all the help :D
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The only suggestion would be to not say the part about the fifteen-year-old girl so explicitly - it's implied in the first part (and I love the idea of someone being an Imaginer). Otherwise, it's wonderful! I like this entry a lot.
Reply
I'll do that correction when I completely edit this. Thanks for the suggestion and the comments :D
Reply
Technically, in this world, names were just an illusion. Nothingness doesn’t have a name.
I was gonna comment on the lack of naming Alfred at the very beginning, but then I read this and was like, “Oooooh.” And I really like this idea! Very much so in fact.
They were both just props, two of the many the Imaginer used when she played with Alfred and all the other characters’ lives.
Okay, please excuse this moment of fangirl squeeing: OMG I LOVE STORIES LIKE THIS SO MUCH.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s continue on a more professional note. I don’t care how many times this concept’s been done before, I love it to pieces. I think it not only makes for an entertaining read but it’s also an idea that’s relatable to ANYONE of an artistic bent. I also think what makes this concept so unique is the writer behind it - how they see their creative world.
At this, he turned towards Anne who was watching him from the side of the stage and ( ... )
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(The comment has been removed)
Thank you :) Glad you liked it.
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