(no subject)
the memorial service was yesterday.
it went well but it was short.
my mom and i had so many things to do friday that i just kept going and doing things and saying things
and da-da-da-da-da-da
and when people asked how i was i said that was hanging on till saturday.
i imagined that i'd be crying the entire time and, honestly, i was looking forward to it.
i so wanted to just weep with my dad's closest friends and family members.
it seemed fantastically cathartic to me.
but that didn't happen.
instead, i hardly cried and it was awkward and i still feel unresolved.
and even after all the tears i've shed,
now i feel as though i've built a dam;
beyond which, i am housing my tears, my weeping
&that dam is going to break very, very soon.
it went well but it was short.
my mom and i had so many things to do friday that i just kept going and doing things and saying things
and da-da-da-da-da-da
and when people asked how i was i said that was hanging on till saturday.
i imagined that i'd be crying the entire time and, honestly, i was looking forward to it.
i so wanted to just weep with my dad's closest friends and family members.
it seemed fantastically cathartic to me.
but that didn't happen.
instead, i hardly cried and it was awkward and i still feel unresolved.
and even after all the tears i've shed,
now i feel as though i've built a dam;
beyond which, i am housing my tears, my weeping
&that dam is going to break very, very soon.