*fingle* I do understand your frustration and hope you do tell her (once again) exactly how her 'nagging' (constant reminders) make you feel. I'm sure you're not alone and can get some commiseration from your siblings :). When that doesn't change her ways (because in all honesty, it's tough to teach an old dog new tricks ;) - is that an accurate saying or is that myth? heh) you may have to just resort to saying something agreeable (every time) like 'yep, I know what you mean, and I'm working on it (whatever the task is) XD'. Every once in awhile admit to her that you're feeling overwhelmed atm (if you are when she calls) and that you know such and such has to be done but are working out priorities. There's all sorts of combinations of things you can say to her. It seems in her blood/nature to be constantly 'on top' of things and as you pointed out she is financially responsible for you for now so imo it's appropriate that you cut her some slack and remember that she's not perfect either and that she loves you (I'm so glad you
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Yes I probably should bring it up properly and really try to explain how I feel about it. I'm just so bad at being open about my true feelings *grimace* It's really difficult for me to admit that I feel bad (it's one thing in here on LJ where I know only people who are genuinely interested in hearing me whining will read it - it's another thing elsewhere...). I'm getting better at expressing my true feelings but it's terribly frustrating that when I do [to my mum] it's forgotten again the next day and it's like I never talked about my problems (or feelings... or whatever) to her at all. I don't (and I can't at this point because expressing these things are SO difficult!) want to repeat myself every single time I talk to her. No only loves the difficult kid that only knows how to whine about their pathetic life at all times *shrug
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It's not easy (and wouldn't be for me either) to explain something negative to someone (especially your mother - I cringe and take a deep breath every time I'm in the position of having to do that...). An example of this would be that I have had to reinforce over and over my views on some of my mom's ... prejudices that I do NOT share. I won't get into an argument with her (it's proven to be pointless, though over the years she has mellowed a bit and possibly because she has some respect for my views) - I've voiced my opinions in the past on her bigotist outbursts at something on TV or from a magazine or whatever (about politics, jewish people, black people, gay people etc... /sigh) but now she can tell by either my 'lack of reaction' or rather by how stiffly I'm sitting/standing etc. and by my schooled facial expression that I'm not thrilled by whatever it is she's just said and then she'll try to soften her words or backpeddle because she knows that I don't put up with those kinds of thoughts and (while I love her) don't respect
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Ugh that sounds a lot like my grandmother (mother's mother (still weird that there are only one word for two different grandmothers in english haha I can't get over that)). She has all these terrible comments about black people, gay people, mentally ill people and so on... But her I have given up on *laugh* We just don't get along - never has. I'm probably her least favourite grandchild (out of 12) but that's okay. I avoid her as much as I can so we only meet sometimes during some kind of family event (gonna meet her at christmas though... not completely looking forward to that but hopefully I can just "disappear in the crowd"). I just tune her out when she gets too bad actually. XDXD She's also quite a lot like my mum >.> Which is sad because I know mum doesn't want to turn out like her own mother but she's on the way already >.A couple of years ago when I happened to spend christmas at my uncle's house she was there too and one thing she asked the three of her children that was present was "just WHY haven't any one of you taken the
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I just tune her out when she gets too bad actually. XDXD
She's also quite a lot like my mum >.> Which is sad because I know mum doesn't want to turn out like her own mother but she's on the way already >.A couple of years ago when I happened to spend christmas at my uncle's house she was there too and one thing she asked the three of her children that was present was "just WHY haven't any one of you taken the ( ... )
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