i just want something i can never have
this past weekend i went to my friend Jess's wedding..she looked like a faiytale bride..so beautiful and it was contagious the atmosphere of love and happiness mostly cause her happiness shined through and everyone could see and feel that..the love on her face when she looked at her man who was becoming her husband..made me realize things like true love u dont expect and look for..it finds you..at the reception most of the dances were for couples. so i sat there and watched them all as they held onto each other and looked into each others eyes..the music irrelevant..just their worlds..and i felt so alone..here it was me and my glass of beer..looking down at my cell phone hoping someone would call me..bad luck with love and companionship..been so desperate to grasp onto it even if it wasnt sincere and temporary..i dont want to be alone..i want what i see and wish i had..i have no thoughts just emotions as i sit here bored at work looking out the window into the big sky and today the clouds are extra fluffy and dreamy looking.i have no choice but to be patient and try to be okay with being alone..but i miss the embrace of a kiss and a hug..or the tugging of my hair and the smile that cannot be hidden as your partners eyes become the most beautiful thing that u cannot look away from..my heart i suppose has to keep going through hell before it finds solace with the love i need in my life..will i push it away? will i smother it? pointless thoughts when i am certain i want something i can never have. and yet everyone else seems to have ..