Very odd post
So, I was sitting around in the IRC channel and got this weird idea. (Hardly unusual.) What if I converted a bunch of regs from there into fantasy type characters and wrote a sick, twisted story about them?
So, without further ado, here's the cast of the story. In alphabetical order because some of them are gonna be offended enough by what I want to do with them without being offended by what order I put them in. :P
Carrotbat - The knitting farmer. Grows carrots, of course. Tends to solve her neighbors' problems, but the kids are mostly scared of her. Probably because she tries to feed them said carrots. Refuses to use knitting needles as a weapon, as blood damages them too much.
Codi - A pyro mage. Has occasionally had to leave towns in a hurry due to burning down their schools, parks, churches, small furry animals, etc. Once accidentally burnt her hair off in the process, and said only "Oh well, I was sick of the pink anyway."
DLD - The undead tavern wench. Romantically involved with Pherring. I have no idea how she got to be undead, other than that it'd be a bit gross for her to be boinking Pherring otherwise. :P
Firee - The Prophecied Boy, who has delusions that his parents aren't really his parents and that he's really the last surviving scion of a royal line. The prophecy about him says only "Beware of the child, for he shall..." with the rest of it being indecipherable. Everyone thinks this means he's destined for Great Evil and keeps trying to kill him. Unbeknownst to them, the full prophecy is "Beware of the child, for he shall annoy thee even unto insanity."
Ian - The cross-dressing something-or-other.
Kortney - The traveling nudist bard. Travels with Phil, and often gets out-pedanted by him. Also gets a wee bit cold in winter. Was once heard to say "You know guys...sometimes this lute gets a bit COLD on my dangly bits."
Marius - The warrior monk. Still a virgin due to tending to escape from wimmin by going off to meditate. Carries a device that resembles a toaster oven, which has some sort of mystical significance. He must protect it from falling into the Hands of Evil.
Mat - The gay weaponsmith. Likes to experiment with new creative projectile weapons, most notably the nun catapult. Tries to hit on Kortney a lot. Once hit on Marius, and produced the longest meditative trance in history.
Pherring - Owner and workaholic bartender of the [insert name] Tavern. Became undead voluntarily because now he doesn't need to sleep and can get more stuff done in a day. Still complains that there's not enough time in a day though. (Unfortunately, undeads can't get drunk.)
Phil - The pedantic traveling bard. Travels with Kortney. Is higher ranking than Kortney in whatever the organization they belong to is called, and does various pedantic bitching.
Reliant - The sailor. Visits Pherring's tavern a lot during her travels.
TMH - The struggling playwright. Usually drunk, which is possibly the reason he struggles.
Hmm...methinks an awful lot of these could connect easily to the tavern...
So, without further ado, here's the cast of the story. In alphabetical order because some of them are gonna be offended enough by what I want to do with them without being offended by what order I put them in. :P
Carrotbat - The knitting farmer. Grows carrots, of course. Tends to solve her neighbors' problems, but the kids are mostly scared of her. Probably because she tries to feed them said carrots. Refuses to use knitting needles as a weapon, as blood damages them too much.
Codi - A pyro mage. Has occasionally had to leave towns in a hurry due to burning down their schools, parks, churches, small furry animals, etc. Once accidentally burnt her hair off in the process, and said only "Oh well, I was sick of the pink anyway."
DLD - The undead tavern wench. Romantically involved with Pherring. I have no idea how she got to be undead, other than that it'd be a bit gross for her to be boinking Pherring otherwise. :P
Firee - The Prophecied Boy, who has delusions that his parents aren't really his parents and that he's really the last surviving scion of a royal line. The prophecy about him says only "Beware of the child, for he shall..." with the rest of it being indecipherable. Everyone thinks this means he's destined for Great Evil and keeps trying to kill him. Unbeknownst to them, the full prophecy is "Beware of the child, for he shall annoy thee even unto insanity."
Ian - The cross-dressing something-or-other.
Kortney - The traveling nudist bard. Travels with Phil, and often gets out-pedanted by him. Also gets a wee bit cold in winter. Was once heard to say "You know guys...sometimes this lute gets a bit COLD on my dangly bits."
Marius - The warrior monk. Still a virgin due to tending to escape from wimmin by going off to meditate. Carries a device that resembles a toaster oven, which has some sort of mystical significance. He must protect it from falling into the Hands of Evil.
Mat - The gay weaponsmith. Likes to experiment with new creative projectile weapons, most notably the nun catapult. Tries to hit on Kortney a lot. Once hit on Marius, and produced the longest meditative trance in history.
Pherring - Owner and workaholic bartender of the [insert name] Tavern. Became undead voluntarily because now he doesn't need to sleep and can get more stuff done in a day. Still complains that there's not enough time in a day though. (Unfortunately, undeads can't get drunk.)
Phil - The pedantic traveling bard. Travels with Kortney. Is higher ranking than Kortney in whatever the organization they belong to is called, and does various pedantic bitching.
Reliant - The sailor. Visits Pherring's tavern a lot during her travels.
TMH - The struggling playwright. Usually drunk, which is possibly the reason he struggles.
Hmm...methinks an awful lot of these could connect easily to the tavern...