beirut's ticket to back to lebanon!
i'm on my way out so here is my funeral fake HOH party post since i never won HOH final goodbye (i even made a playlist commemorating my game, please check out my hard work <3). i had a ton of fun playing this game with you all and think you're all rad people. ftr, i would probably have been able to play a tiny bit longer if benji hadn't kept playing after his eviction lol :~) but i knew i was making huge mistakes, and my time was running out, so c'est la vie. follow the cut for my final tl;dr.
Never did I think my socializing of all things was gonna get me in trouble, but it definitely did. Gonna be real about my goals: I wanted to at least get to know everyone, then figure out who was keeping me in the loop the most, and who I felt safest with, and bring those people together.
(here's a song i really like and the accompanying Daria music video, to break up the monotony of this post and the ~*~hidden message~*~. in this allusion, i'm the "girl" and you're "breaking me up"!)
Click to viewGive me the benefit of the doubt - i was never aggressively deceitful. You might see me as a people pleaser and it's probably true, i lived in an idealistic version of big brother where my friends could eventually work with my friends, but i guess it helped me survive fairly long in this game, and now i know to be more up front sooner.
(here's another song I really like. this one means: "there was No Other Way I could have made any more mistakes in the last two weeks")
Up in beirut-world i always had a small, fairly consistent set of allies that i protected and spoke with frequently, and i was friendly with everyone else because the game is social (and also everyone is really sweet) but i made sure Never to state allegiances if i wasn't Gonna be real about them. and Let me tell You, i typically decided not to work with people who held me at arm's length, who didn't talk game with me, or who did things i thought were shady - these were things I could only find out if I was Down to chat, friendly, and responsive to the teams twists putting us in social groups.
(last song. this is all of you, to me, for being a rickrolling monster like it's 2008 or something. Jojo is back, just so you all know!)
but I was Never Gonna Run Around And Desert You (well, unless I actually realized all too late that you were actually closely aligned with the person you repeatedly told me you were targeting, if we want to discuss playing the middle, but THAT'S another can of worms lol!!)
i'm done with whatever this post was but i do wanna say a huge thanks to the chenbots for all their work on this game & for being patient with me as a first timer!! i hope every houseguest left playing the game has a blast like i did, and plays hard. it was awesome to meet you all - lots of love to everyone from beirut xoxo