WOMEN'S HEALTH POST: SEX ED FOR WOMEN (aka TMI Post)
Info posts may contain triggering elements, so please be mindful of the topic and read at your own discretion. Specific triggers and warnings are listed below, but if any additional warnings are needed please don't be shy about making the suggestion. Thanks!
SPECIFIC TRIGGER WARNINGS: Sexual
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So, it's no big secret in my life that I'm asexual. But I still like to fantasize and/or watch/read porn. I still have a sex drive. It's just... directed at absolutely nothing, so I take care of it myself. This weirds my friends out to no end when the subject comes up.
Also, the next person who tells I can't possibly be asexual if I'm a virgin and don't know if I would like it or not can go fuck themselves with the business end of a rake.
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I once had a friend blab to a new friend that I identified as asexual (which was funny, because the friend who blabbed had only heard about it from a third friend--I never directly told her), and I was advised to "try masturbation to make sure you actually don't like sex!!"
When I told new friend that some asexual people DO masturbate, his brain basically short-circuited.
It's sad how my most open-minded friends get weirded out by me. :/
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Well clearly if you do it alone, you MUST be okay doing it with someone else, too!
Yeah, explaining asexuality to people has been really hard because they just don't get the difference between libido and sexual attraction. They are distinct things, dammit!
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He doesn't even think there's such a thing as being asexual. :/
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I guess I'm a little perplexed by the idea that they're distinct, when for me, they're not.
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I have such an active fantasy life it took me forever to realize I was asexual. Eventually, I had to draw the line that fantasy was fantasy and reality was reality, and if I had zero interest in fucking real, actual people that made me asexual.
Also, I have had sex, and no, I don't think it's at all necessary if you already know you're asexual. I didn't, but it was kind of a clue that when I was trying to have an orgasm to Do Sex Right, and I was like, "Okay, think your sexiest thoughts," I fantasized about being alone.
Edit: PS, if you do have sex to "prove it," people will just tell you your partner did it wrong, or maybe YOU did it wrong. There's no winning.
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