Questions I Want To Ask Entitled Cis Het Men

[bloodrivendream]

Over the summer, I wrote a 3500-word piece about masculinity. It touched on some themes I’ve messed around with before, most notably in my reviews of the Sex+++ documentaries “Private Dicks: Men Exposed” and “Boy I Am.” I fondly hoped that I might be able to do something “real” with it, but I’ve gotten rather immersed in my work here in Africa -

Comments

[bloodrivendream]

we can't talk about masculinity as separate from oppression and sexist
Agreed. She even touched on how examining gender and sexism and oppression is considered unmasculine; yet, she is glossed over this. Not examining these things for the sake of holding onto masculinity... does not sit well with me at all.

You touched on my main issue. She seems to be quite attached to masculinity and femininity as a dichotomy.

I just read a later article where she touches on that, Gender-hacking and the big picture consequences

Where she says:
The fact that we can work within - and even enjoy - The System does not mean that The System is not fucked up.

Still ….

I’d like to believe that we can hold on to what’s beautiful, surprising, and hot about The System. Can we keep the stereotypes and have justice too? Is that possible? Or does the whole thing have to burn and be reborn?

I am with you in think the answer lies more in the system needing to burn and be reborn.

[barbituratecat]

Because other people find the whole thing vile, and the kinksters need to give the whole thing up and only enjoy those stereotypes under confined situations with a safe word and specific constrains.

I'm confused at what you're saying here, could you please clarify? Because I'm reading it like 'kink is bad and you keep that shit private', and I'm sure that's not the intent. Also, it's not making any differentiations between a small percentage of people with a very specific kink, and 'kinksters' in general.

[barbituratecat]

Ah, that makes sense, thanks! Yes, I definitely agree with that sentiment.

[loser_anda_user]

i don't think every word of that is wrong, necessarily, as much as i think it was extremely wrong of her to throw that out there and then just leave it. the fact that men can ~lose their masculinity~ is only evidence of the fact that masculinity is so valued that it's like a fucking prize that only men deserve and can be revoked if they act in 'nasty' unmasculine (ie, feminine) ways. she could've really gone into that... like you said, you can't separate this from oppression and sexism.

masculinity and femininity aren't useless either, they just shouldn't be a dichotomy. idk why you think getting rid of some people's self expression is such a great idea, people are hurt because femininity is devalued in the dichotomy that has been created between it and masculinity.

and i think heteronormative is a combination of traditional gender roles and the ignorance of non heterosexual sexualities.

[loser_anda_user]

i never said they aren't? i suppose she did downplay that in that paragraph.

[loser_anda_user]

well, i only read those few paragraphs so i don't have a full grasp on the thing. however, like i said, i think a discussion of why men can have their masculinity revoked for not acting masculine enough (ie, moving across the dichotomy towards feminine) is pertinent because it reveals a devaluation of femininity, and through that, women. lol i don't care about the poor men, i would just like to see that brought up more because it's something most people ignore when they mention how 'men have it so hard' and it's the real reason behind the whole thing. i think we tend to agree though.