GIANT GUSHING GRANDMA RECAP
There has been a lack of S10 tour posts and I haven't been spamming the comm as usual lately so I'm going to do a tour recap post!
I went to the Oakland and San Jose shows but I'll just talk about San Jose because I decided to test the limits of my stupidity and got the ~~Superstah Package~~ and can detail the process for anybody considering it/the show in general.
What you'll find in this recap:
-More Jacob than you probably want but FU
-Stefano is a douchebag
-paulontv action!
-Scotty's Woody
-Casey/James (but not Casey James)
-Naima being the best person ever
-Lots of pretty ladies!
-Lautty duh!
WHO IS THIS MYSTERY IDOL SIGNING A COPY OF A TWILIGHT NEW MOON DVD?
CLICK TO FIND OUT!
Alrighty so the VIP thing goes something like this: they funnel you into a little hallway and then stick you with some stranger bitches and make you all take a weird awkward group photo with all the idols + randoms you don't know. Why would you want this photo? You wouldn't. So unless you have a group of like 10 people going and you all know each other this part is pretty worthless. LOL. PLUS they all go up onto a public flickr account. So the whole Internet is going to know you did this. Your life will be RUINED. For the sake of the other people in my group I will protect their identities.
I think I could have passed as this one couple's daughter but that still doesn't make me want to frame this and put it in my bathroom. Look at Stefano sucking over there. Grrruhhh.
So after that all the Idols scurry over to little designated corners and everybody can go mob their favorite for autographs and individual pictures. Since it was James-country he was mobbed. But I went straight in for some Derp Ship.
I always suspected that Scotty was the greatest person to have ever been born on this earth and it turns out that I was totally right! He is the most precious adorable huggable little fdlkgkljbhkldtjhklethjetlhjiyh6j he is my adoptive grandson I want him to take care of me when I'm old and he'll tell me how he's doing in school and I'll make him cookies and give him ugly clothes and he will wear the ugly clothes when he comes to visit the following year just to make me happy.
There is only one possible thing I could think of that I wanted Scotty to sign for me so I went out and got me a legit Woody doll!
So I handed Woody to Ray (Willie Nelson) and he very daintily presented it to Scotty to sign. He asked me where I wanted him to sign it and I said to do it on the boot and he was like, "BUT THAT'S WHERE ANDY'S SUPPOSED TO SIGN!" Itwasthecutestthingeversoadorableohmygod.
I'd given Scotty's mom my camera because she offered to take a picture of us and she lit up and got all excited when she saw Woody. She was like, "Scotty!! Remember your Woody doll? You loved him so much!" And Scotty was like "yes mama." And she kept going on about it forever like a mom and he was still like "yes mama yes I love Woody." So she just decided to take a bunch of pictures of Scotty signing Woody with my camera in her motherly nostalgia.
So then I skipped over to Lauren and had her sign the other boot. Her mother also got excited about Woody and was like "d'aaaw that's cute" in a really southern way, and Lauren was like "THERE'S A SNAKE IN MAH BOOT!" And we pulled Woody's string but he didn't say that and we were sad.
Anywho here is Lautty Woody he will be forever treasured:
Then we went over to Jacob and I had him sign a shoe and he was like "OH ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR THIS?" and "I was like well it's my size I could wear it but I'll probably just stick it somewhere IDK" and overall I did not treat Jacob like the STARRRR~~~ I should have so later on that night I told him he was awesome and that he smelled nice to make up for it. Jacob is great and fun and deserving of love look at yourselves in the mirror all you haters.
I asked Haley to sign some red lipstick and she was all like "OIC WUT U DID THAR" and I was like "ILU HALEYS RLY" and she was like "OKAYS" and it was all good.
Okay I don't want this to get too long--Casey is funny and wonderful, Pia's gorgeous, etc., etc. NOW FOR THE DIRT!
I specifically wanted to ruin Paul's life so I brought a New Moon DVD for him to sign (I haven't watched it or anything, this was solely a Paul-haterade purchase).
But he was a really good sport about it and was like "oooh I'll have to tell my girl." Then I asked him to put on there whether he was Team Edward or Team Jacob--he didn't know so he asked which one Taylor was, so I told him and now I am the proud owner of this masterpiece:
I know you're super jelly RN. So Paul gets some cool points for being a good dude. And he officially loses his spot as the person I hate the most this season, because Stefano is a dick. LOL.
I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW THE STORY OF HOW STEFANO HATES BRUNO MARS WITH A FIERY PASSION AND IS ON A LIFELONG MISSION TO UPSTAGE HIM IN ALL WAYS ("I HIT THE NOTES BRUNO MARS CAN'T HIT!!!!!!!!!!!111") and he's singing Grenade on tour so I thought it would be lulzy to have him sign something "to Bruno." He was with some girls showing off and running around like crazy (and he was the only one of the Idols who didn't like, go to his own little corner of the room and instead he just walked around and leeched off of James's giant line). So then the girls go away and he deadpans and I ask him to sign ~~to Bruno for my friend Bruno because how is he supposed to know I don't have a friend Bruno who's a huge fan and dying in the hospital or something, right? And he was like "what was the name?" and I said "Bruno!" and he stared at the shoe (I was having everybody sign the shoe) and I said it again, to Bruno, and he kept staring and I said he could sign it anywhere he wanted... then he just signed his own name and handed it back and we took a picture and it was like LOOOOOOOOOOL WHAT A JERK. IDK everything he did was just so asshole-y. And the night before he was refusing to take pictures with people because ~he wasn't camera ready. I can't wait until he fades into the void of obscurity. LOL.
Oh yeah and then there was a show!
I was front row and I made a point to scream really obnoxiously for Jacob, Naima and Thia because they are under-appreciated. I know I'm pretty biased because I pretty much love everybody this season, but the show is really good. The format is different, but I liked it and there was a lot of focus on big "LOOK AT HOW GOOD I CAN SING!!!" numbers which is kind of refreshing after all the ~artistry of the last few seasons. I loved the girls all singing together, too. I'm always primarily #TEAMGIRLPOWER
We've already had posts for the songs and the setlist and whatever so mostly I'm just going to spam you with my blatant favoritism photography flaily mess:
PIA LOOKED GORGEOUS AND HER VOICE IS FLAWLESS BUT SHE ONLY HAS ONE HILARIOUS STUPID DANCE MOVE WHERE SHE JUST KIND OF SHIMMIES AND MOVES HER LEGS.
THIA IS SO GOOD AND FUN BUT UNFORTUNATELY SHE IS PROBABLY THE MOST FORGETTABLE. REGARDLESS I SCREAMED FOR HER TIL IT HURT.
UNFORTUNATELY THIS HAPPENED. MY EYESSSS!!11 I THOUGHT I WOULD BE SAFE AFTER HE DIDN'T DO IT THE NIGHT BEFORE BUT I WAS SADLY MISTAKEN.
THEY WERE ADORABLE AND SCREWED AROUND WHENEVER THEY SANG TOGETHER. DESPITE THEIR CUTE SHENANIGANS THE BOY'S GROUP NUMBER (+PAUL) WERE MY LEAST FAVORITE PARTS OF SHOW. NOT THAT IT WAS ANYWHERE NEAR TERRIBLE, THEY JUST DON'T FIT TOGETHER LIKE THE GIRLS DO. BUT THEY MAKE THE BEST OF IT. LOL.
NAIMA KICKED MAJOR ASS. I WISH SHE'D PLACED HIGHER SO SHE COULD DO ANOTHER SONG. SHE WAS SO GOOOOOD.
YOU NEED TO WATCH HER AMAZING, EPIC DANCE BREAK DURING ON THE FLOOR:
ROBBED.
NOW HERE'S THE PART WHERE I JUST SPAM WITH JACOB AND LAUREN BECAUSE I LOVE THEM BOTH MORE THAN LIFE AND BECAUSE THEY PLAYED UP TO THE CAMERAS MORE THAN THE OTHERS (BUT THERE ARE STILL OTHERS DON'T WORRY)--
BEAUTIFUL TRIO SINGING FIREWORK
DEY FUCKIN'
STEFANO'S STUPID BODY WAS IN THE WAY OF EVERYBODY ELSE DURING FORGET YOU SO I JUST TOOK PICTURES OF NAIMA AND LAUREN. LOL.
BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS TIME:
SHE LOOKS SAD I WONDER IF HER AND SCOTTY HAD A FIGHT?
I DIDN'T GET A LOT OF JAMES BECAUSE HE WAS FLYYYYYYYYING OFF THE WALLS LIKE A KID ON PIXIE STIX HE WAS SO FREAKING EXCITED. I HAVE LIKE 20 PICTURES OF JAMES-COLORED BLURRS AND ARMPIT HAIR IN MY FACE BUT I WILL SPARE YOU THOSE.
IT'S FABULOUS DANCER JACOB TIME!!!!!
I REALLY REALLY LOVED HIS SET IDGAF HE IS FANTASTIC. Plus nobody else is going to take pictures of him so I felt it was my duty to try.
All my Haley pictures were pretty shitty but here are 2:
Then when Scotty came out I was a flailing mess because he is perfect and wonderful and amazing. Like seriously it's worth going to the tour just to see Scotty sing Your Man--it is everything you could ever want out of your life and MORE. It's a masterful combination of making you feel like a creep because Scotty's so charming and weirdly sexually driven and he is a little boy and you want to put bandaids on his booboos and take him to Legoland.
Then I took one picture of Lautty and after that I was too ded to function.
OVERALL I ENJOYED THIS LIKE CRAZY. Everybody is a good performer and there's no point in the show where I wanted to kill myself or anything--I mean it will depend on how much you hate Pia or James or Jacob, but objectively I'd say it's a very solid, entertaining show filled with lots of very talented kids.
I went to the Oakland and San Jose shows but I'll just talk about San Jose because I decided to test the limits of my stupidity and got the ~~Superstah Package~~ and can detail the process for anybody considering it/the show in general.
What you'll find in this recap:
-More Jacob than you probably want but FU
-Stefano is a douchebag
-paulontv action!
-Scotty's Woody
-Casey/James (but not Casey James)
-Naima being the best person ever
-Lots of pretty ladies!
-Lautty duh!
WHO IS THIS MYSTERY IDOL SIGNING A COPY OF A TWILIGHT NEW MOON DVD?
CLICK TO FIND OUT!
Alrighty so the VIP thing goes something like this: they funnel you into a little hallway and then stick you with some stranger bitches and make you all take a weird awkward group photo with all the idols + randoms you don't know. Why would you want this photo? You wouldn't. So unless you have a group of like 10 people going and you all know each other this part is pretty worthless. LOL. PLUS they all go up onto a public flickr account. So the whole Internet is going to know you did this. Your life will be RUINED. For the sake of the other people in my group I will protect their identities.
I think I could have passed as this one couple's daughter but that still doesn't make me want to frame this and put it in my bathroom. Look at Stefano sucking over there. Grrruhhh.
So after that all the Idols scurry over to little designated corners and everybody can go mob their favorite for autographs and individual pictures. Since it was James-country he was mobbed. But I went straight in for some Derp Ship.
I always suspected that Scotty was the greatest person to have ever been born on this earth and it turns out that I was totally right! He is the most precious adorable huggable little fdlkgkljbhkldtjhklethjetlhjiyh6j he is my adoptive grandson I want him to take care of me when I'm old and he'll tell me how he's doing in school and I'll make him cookies and give him ugly clothes and he will wear the ugly clothes when he comes to visit the following year just to make me happy.
There is only one possible thing I could think of that I wanted Scotty to sign for me so I went out and got me a legit Woody doll!
So I handed Woody to Ray (Willie Nelson) and he very daintily presented it to Scotty to sign. He asked me where I wanted him to sign it and I said to do it on the boot and he was like, "BUT THAT'S WHERE ANDY'S SUPPOSED TO SIGN!" Itwasthecutestthingeversoadorableohmygod.
I'd given Scotty's mom my camera because she offered to take a picture of us and she lit up and got all excited when she saw Woody. She was like, "Scotty!! Remember your Woody doll? You loved him so much!" And Scotty was like "yes mama." And she kept going on about it forever like a mom and he was still like "yes mama yes I love Woody." So she just decided to take a bunch of pictures of Scotty signing Woody with my camera in her motherly nostalgia.
So then I skipped over to Lauren and had her sign the other boot. Her mother also got excited about Woody and was like "d'aaaw that's cute" in a really southern way, and Lauren was like "THERE'S A SNAKE IN MAH BOOT!" And we pulled Woody's string but he didn't say that and we were sad.
Anywho here is Lautty Woody he will be forever treasured:
Then we went over to Jacob and I had him sign a shoe and he was like "OH ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR THIS?" and "I was like well it's my size I could wear it but I'll probably just stick it somewhere IDK" and overall I did not treat Jacob like the STARRRR~~~ I should have so later on that night I told him he was awesome and that he smelled nice to make up for it. Jacob is great and fun and deserving of love look at yourselves in the mirror all you haters.
I asked Haley to sign some red lipstick and she was all like "OIC WUT U DID THAR" and I was like "ILU HALEYS RLY" and she was like "OKAYS" and it was all good.
Okay I don't want this to get too long--Casey is funny and wonderful, Pia's gorgeous, etc., etc. NOW FOR THE DIRT!
I specifically wanted to ruin Paul's life so I brought a New Moon DVD for him to sign (I haven't watched it or anything, this was solely a Paul-haterade purchase).
But he was a really good sport about it and was like "oooh I'll have to tell my girl." Then I asked him to put on there whether he was Team Edward or Team Jacob--he didn't know so he asked which one Taylor was, so I told him and now I am the proud owner of this masterpiece:
I know you're super jelly RN. So Paul gets some cool points for being a good dude. And he officially loses his spot as the person I hate the most this season, because Stefano is a dick. LOL.
I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW THE STORY OF HOW STEFANO HATES BRUNO MARS WITH A FIERY PASSION AND IS ON A LIFELONG MISSION TO UPSTAGE HIM IN ALL WAYS ("I HIT THE NOTES BRUNO MARS CAN'T HIT!!!!!!!!!!!111") and he's singing Grenade on tour so I thought it would be lulzy to have him sign something "to Bruno." He was with some girls showing off and running around like crazy (and he was the only one of the Idols who didn't like, go to his own little corner of the room and instead he just walked around and leeched off of James's giant line). So then the girls go away and he deadpans and I ask him to sign ~~to Bruno for my friend Bruno because how is he supposed to know I don't have a friend Bruno who's a huge fan and dying in the hospital or something, right? And he was like "what was the name?" and I said "Bruno!" and he stared at the shoe (I was having everybody sign the shoe) and I said it again, to Bruno, and he kept staring and I said he could sign it anywhere he wanted... then he just signed his own name and handed it back and we took a picture and it was like LOOOOOOOOOOL WHAT A JERK. IDK everything he did was just so asshole-y. And the night before he was refusing to take pictures with people because ~he wasn't camera ready. I can't wait until he fades into the void of obscurity. LOL.
Oh yeah and then there was a show!
I was front row and I made a point to scream really obnoxiously for Jacob, Naima and Thia because they are under-appreciated. I know I'm pretty biased because I pretty much love everybody this season, but the show is really good. The format is different, but I liked it and there was a lot of focus on big "LOOK AT HOW GOOD I CAN SING!!!" numbers which is kind of refreshing after all the ~artistry of the last few seasons. I loved the girls all singing together, too. I'm always primarily #TEAMGIRLPOWER
We've already had posts for the songs and the setlist and whatever so mostly I'm just going to spam you with my blatant favoritism photography flaily mess:
PIA LOOKED GORGEOUS AND HER VOICE IS FLAWLESS BUT SHE ONLY HAS ONE HILARIOUS STUPID DANCE MOVE WHERE SHE JUST KIND OF SHIMMIES AND MOVES HER LEGS.
THIA IS SO GOOD AND FUN BUT UNFORTUNATELY SHE IS PROBABLY THE MOST FORGETTABLE. REGARDLESS I SCREAMED FOR HER TIL IT HURT.
UNFORTUNATELY THIS HAPPENED. MY EYESSSS!!11 I THOUGHT I WOULD BE SAFE AFTER HE DIDN'T DO IT THE NIGHT BEFORE BUT I WAS SADLY MISTAKEN.
THEY WERE ADORABLE AND SCREWED AROUND WHENEVER THEY SANG TOGETHER. DESPITE THEIR CUTE SHENANIGANS THE BOY'S GROUP NUMBER (+PAUL) WERE MY LEAST FAVORITE PARTS OF SHOW. NOT THAT IT WAS ANYWHERE NEAR TERRIBLE, THEY JUST DON'T FIT TOGETHER LIKE THE GIRLS DO. BUT THEY MAKE THE BEST OF IT. LOL.
NAIMA KICKED MAJOR ASS. I WISH SHE'D PLACED HIGHER SO SHE COULD DO ANOTHER SONG. SHE WAS SO GOOOOOD.
YOU NEED TO WATCH HER AMAZING, EPIC DANCE BREAK DURING ON THE FLOOR:
Click to viewROBBED.
NOW HERE'S THE PART WHERE I JUST SPAM WITH JACOB AND LAUREN BECAUSE I LOVE THEM BOTH MORE THAN LIFE AND BECAUSE THEY PLAYED UP TO THE CAMERAS MORE THAN THE OTHERS (BUT THERE ARE STILL OTHERS DON'T WORRY)--
BEAUTIFUL TRIO SINGING FIREWORK
DEY FUCKIN'
STEFANO'S STUPID BODY WAS IN THE WAY OF EVERYBODY ELSE DURING FORGET YOU SO I JUST TOOK PICTURES OF NAIMA AND LAUREN. LOL.
BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS TIME:
SHE LOOKS SAD I WONDER IF HER AND SCOTTY HAD A FIGHT?
I DIDN'T GET A LOT OF JAMES BECAUSE HE WAS FLYYYYYYYYING OFF THE WALLS LIKE A KID ON PIXIE STIX HE WAS SO FREAKING EXCITED. I HAVE LIKE 20 PICTURES OF JAMES-COLORED BLURRS AND ARMPIT HAIR IN MY FACE BUT I WILL SPARE YOU THOSE.
IT'S FABULOUS DANCER JACOB TIME!!!!!
I REALLY REALLY LOVED HIS SET IDGAF HE IS FANTASTIC. Plus nobody else is going to take pictures of him so I felt it was my duty to try.
All my Haley pictures were pretty shitty but here are 2:
Then when Scotty came out I was a flailing mess because he is perfect and wonderful and amazing. Like seriously it's worth going to the tour just to see Scotty sing Your Man--it is everything you could ever want out of your life and MORE. It's a masterful combination of making you feel like a creep because Scotty's so charming and weirdly sexually driven and he is a little boy and you want to put bandaids on his booboos and take him to Legoland.
Then I took one picture of Lautty and after that I was too ded to function.
OVERALL I ENJOYED THIS LIKE CRAZY. Everybody is a good performer and there's no point in the show where I wanted to kill myself or anything--I mean it will depend on how much you hate Pia or James or Jacob, but objectively I'd say it's a very solid, entertaining show filled with lots of very talented kids.