Lulu shook her head, but her realxed smile said she didn't mind his observation, or the following question.
"I lost my parents when I was young, raised by relatives on the Vescovo side of the family, and they would have trained me in the family business...which, I'm sure I don't have to tell you, was a front for all kinds of espionage," she said, "But unfortunately...there was an incident...and they were also killed."
She shrugged, unable to explain why or how she escaped, when no one else in the house had been left alive. "I was still just a girl, but after that, I learned to become all things to all people just to keep myself alive...until one day...some important, wealthy, up-and-coming young man took a shine to me, and became my sponsor."
Another shake of her head, veiling her eyes behind long lashes, masking the still-painful memories. "He bought out my contract--promised to take me away from it all--but what I didn't know was that he meant to dfect to Monacello to do so." She laughed sardonically. "Of course, the family wasn't to happy about that, and well...one mistake and he paid for it wih his life...and I was back to selling myself for secrets."
At that, she lifted her eyes to him as if to say, and here I am now.
Tseng listened quietly. He was a good listener and an observant one too. He could tell the difference between what she was saying and what she meant.
"Incidents can be tragic. But they happen." He's given the order for many of them while back in Hong Kong. But this was Italy. Practically another life.
The story that she told was an unfortunate one but Tseng's expression remained largely unreadable. Once she'd finished he gave her a nod. "He took his chances. And he paid the price." He didn't mean for that to come across as cold. "I'm sure he wouldn't have had it any other way. Brave young men rarely would." He was quiet for a long moment before speaking again. "I envy him that." Tseng took a deep breath before speaking again. "Are you happy with your life this way?"
Lulu nodded slowly, quietly, understanding that Tseng was a businessman and knew well what went on behind the scenes as such. It was just life--and sometimes you had to turn it a cold shoulder to survive. Not to get burned.
"I'm successful," she said finally, "Independant, debt-free, and for the most part I thrive on the energy of my work." All of that was probably more than a lot of women in her position could say.
"But I wonder, sometimes, if I've isolated myself a little too much with all the bridges I've burned."
Tseng nodded. All the things that she mentioned were important and not things that everyone was afforded the luxery of. Her last words made him pause for thought however.
"Most bridges can be rebuilt." He commented at length. "More than once I've thought I burned them behind me. And yet somehow I find myself back on the other side of the shore." He doesn't mention them by name but this was especially true of the Turks. More than once he thought he was at his limit with Reno and Elena only to find himself more on their side than ever now. "I'm sure you're more than capable if it's really what you wish."
Lulu tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment before taking another sip of wine. What did she want? She had thought she'd wanted to let that past stay buried--to burn every bridge behind her--to have no attachments to anyone, anything, or any place. But life had a way of changing one's plans.
"People have called me shallow, and asked if I've ever just tried to be a friend," she mused, "But I don't think there's a person in this town who hasn't had to sacrifice some part of themselves to keep doing what they have to do."
She sighed. "Those of who manage to find true friendship? They are truly fortunate people."
Tseng watched her closely. Closer than she probably realized. If there was a clue on her face as to what she's thinking he would likely recognize it. He too had learned that life often happens when you're making other plans.
But he also wouldn't be surprised if there weren't any visable clues. She was a woman practiced in keeping her true feelings hidden. She probably had many masks.
"Indeed." Tseng nodded. Sacrifice was a part of life. Lulu's words also brought a small smile to otherwise tight lips. "Friendship is something I myself didn't believe in until recently. All the bonds I've ever known could be bought through money or fear." But again, things change. "Now that I know that it exists I have no doubt that you'll find it as well. Or it will find you." Just as it did him.
"Yes," Lulu replied, a hint of something wistful--almost hopeful--crossing her features for the briefest of moments as Tseng's rare smile tempted her to drop her guard. "But will I recognize it? Will it be able to accept what I am--once the novelty wears off?"
She shrugged her shoulders hesitantly. "Or will I sell it out because a handsome stranger offers me a handsome sum to spill its secrets because that is what I have done all my life?" She didn't mean it as an accusation, though it could probably be taken that way, and she wasn't even sure if she meant for Tseng to answer. She was simply asking.
If it had been meant as an accusation, Tseng was unmoved by it. Sometimes it seemed as if nothing affected him. That was his artform. That was what he'd perfected over the years.
"I'm afraid those are things that we all must figure out on our own." He finally answered. "I should be going. Thank you for the wine Miss Lulu." He bowed his head to her slightly before. "You have my number. I trust that you'll keep me updated on your -- progress." Though if he never hears from her again he'll know of her decision that way as well.
Lulu sometimes wished she could be as detached as Tseng seemed to be, but she supposed he had had a few more years to perfect that art, and she'd been having trouble compartmentalizing ever since...
Ever since a certain 'angel of twilight' had first fallen for her. The drama with Reno was just one of many complications that had followed.
"Sir," she said, reaching toward him impulsively as he made to take his leave, but stopping just shy of invading his space, strangely hesitant. "How do you do it? Stay so impartial, I mean."
She wondered if she was really cut out for this job--for any if it--anymore.
"I lost my parents when I was young, raised by relatives on the Vescovo side of the family, and they would have trained me in the family business...which, I'm sure I don't have to tell you, was a front for all kinds of espionage," she said, "But unfortunately...there was an incident...and they were also killed."
She shrugged, unable to explain why or how she escaped, when no one else in the house had been left alive. "I was still just a girl, but after that, I learned to become all things to all people just to keep myself alive...until one day...some important, wealthy, up-and-coming young man took a shine to me, and became my sponsor."
Another shake of her head, veiling her eyes behind long lashes, masking the still-painful memories. "He bought out my contract--promised to take me away from it all--but what I didn't know was that he meant to dfect to Monacello to do so." She laughed sardonically. "Of course, the family wasn't to happy about that, and well...one mistake and he paid for it wih his life...and I was back to selling myself for secrets."
At that, she lifted her eyes to him as if to say, and here I am now.
Reply
"Incidents can be tragic. But they happen." He's given the order for many of them while back in Hong Kong. But this was Italy. Practically another life.
The story that she told was an unfortunate one but Tseng's expression remained largely unreadable. Once she'd finished he gave her a nod. "He took his chances. And he paid the price." He didn't mean for that to come across as cold. "I'm sure he wouldn't have had it any other way. Brave young men rarely would." He was quiet for a long moment before speaking again. "I envy him that." Tseng took a deep breath before speaking again. "Are you happy with your life this way?"
Reply
"I'm successful," she said finally, "Independant, debt-free, and for the most part I thrive on the energy of my work." All of that was probably more than a lot of women in her position could say.
"But I wonder, sometimes, if I've isolated myself a little too much with all the bridges I've burned."
Reply
"Most bridges can be rebuilt." He commented at length. "More than once I've thought I burned them behind me. And yet somehow I find myself back on the other side of the shore." He doesn't mention them by name but this was especially true of the Turks. More than once he thought he was at his limit with Reno and Elena only to find himself more on their side than ever now. "I'm sure you're more than capable if it's really what you wish."
Reply
Lulu tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment before taking another sip of wine. What did she want? She had thought she'd wanted to let that past stay buried--to burn every bridge behind her--to have no attachments to anyone, anything, or any place. But life had a way of changing one's plans.
"People have called me shallow, and asked if I've ever just tried to be a friend," she mused, "But I don't think there's a person in this town who hasn't had to sacrifice some part of themselves to keep doing what they have to do."
She sighed. "Those of who manage to find true friendship? They are truly fortunate people."
Reply
But he also wouldn't be surprised if there weren't any visable clues. She was a woman practiced in keeping her true feelings hidden. She probably had many masks.
"Indeed." Tseng nodded. Sacrifice was a part of life. Lulu's words also brought a small smile to otherwise tight lips. "Friendship is something I myself didn't believe in until recently. All the bonds I've ever known could be bought through money or fear." But again, things change. "Now that I know that it exists I have no doubt that you'll find it as well. Or it will find you." Just as it did him.
Reply
She shrugged her shoulders hesitantly. "Or will I sell it out because a handsome stranger offers me a handsome sum to spill its secrets because that is what I have done all my life?" She didn't mean it as an accusation, though it could probably be taken that way, and she wasn't even sure if she meant for Tseng to answer. She was simply asking.
Reply
"I'm afraid those are things that we all must figure out on our own." He finally answered. "I should be going. Thank you for the wine Miss Lulu." He bowed his head to her slightly before. "You have my number. I trust that you'll keep me updated on your -- progress." Though if he never hears from her again he'll know of her decision that way as well.
Reply
Ever since a certain 'angel of twilight' had first fallen for her. The drama with Reno was just one of many complications that had followed.
"Sir," she said, reaching toward him impulsively as he made to take his leave, but stopping just shy of invading his space, strangely hesitant. "How do you do it? Stay so impartial, I mean."
She wondered if she was really cut out for this job--for any if it--anymore.
Reply
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