God works in the most mysterious ways
The last entry i wrote, i was feeling annoyed and bothered because i felt like the people closest to me were hurting me, and for that i am a fool. Today is well sunday and of course i went to church, and we had father patrick as the priest usually he's really boring but today i have to say was one of if not the best homily's i've ever heard. Today's homily was about life and focusing on God, Father patrick was screaming "You think if you buy this car that you'll be happy, but you won't, you think if you have sex with many people you'll be happy, you won't you think that if you just get this or just do this you'll be happy but no! you won't you'll only be happy in God" then he continued and said "Many of you complain about your work, but there are millions out there looking for a job, you complain about your kids but there are people who spend millions just to have a child, you think that divorcing your husband or wife will make you happy, but no many people become more lonely more sad and depressed by divorce and there are millions of women or men ready to just jump on your spouse if you are to leave them. Really many of us complain about something about someone but really what we need to do is COUNT OUR BLESSINGS" that right there really hit me that i've been focusing so much on the bad in my life, and the wordly things of life that i did not focus on God enough. I realized that i had become negative and needed to count my blessings as well: to my parents, God knows i complain about them soo much especially my dad who angers me soo often, but instead of complaing about how they irritate me i should realize that Gosh darn it i have TWO parents TWO loving parents who try to do their best for me and that there are millions of orphan kids who are dying for just ONE parent. The blessing of my sister even tho she can be a pain in the butt and makes me do things out of my way at least i have a sister who i dont' fight with everyday and can talk and play with and who looks up to me. The blessing of my cousins and other relatives, that even tho they patronize me size me up and compare me to their children that at least i have tito's and tita's to call my own who love me as well, and my cousin who keep me company and make my family feel so much larger. The blessing of my friends who i sadly neglect from time to time i'm sure there are millions of people who would wish to be friends with my friends and treat them better than i do. To the blessing of my girlfriend who probably has more than a million guys ready to jump on her if i were to ever leave her, that i may focus on not what bad comes our way and how either of us can be better, but rather be happy to have her with me and to be thankful she puts up with EVERYTHING i put her and all of you through. To all of you i sincerly apologize i have not only let you down but i have let myself down in that i neglected to see the goodness in all of you because God is in each of us, but we are incomplete and thus we make mistakes and hurt one another and i'm sorry that i felt negative towards any of you when i myself am a horrible sinner and hurt all of you in probably the same way i felt hurt. Lastly i must count the blessing of myself, that i have life, and am healthy, no longer should i focus on how ugly i feel, how dark i am, how nasty my skin is or how i lack or am flawed personality wise but rather that i am lucky to have 2 legs 2 arms a head to think and learn and a heart to love and feel. So i have no right to preach but i hope and pray you count your blessings too lest you fall into the same trap i have.