I Know Who I Am And I Know What I Want
Title: I Know Who I Am And I Know What I Want
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13 (Santana’s inner monologue swears)
Characters, Pairings: Santana Lopez, mentions Brittany/Santana
Word Count: ~400
Spoilers: Through 2x18 - Born This Way
Summary: After the ‘Born This Way’ performance, Santana has some thinking to do.
"Obviously you don’t love you as much as I love you or you would put the shirt on and dance with me." Santana hears Brittany’s words for hours after the performance. She can’t come out now. Not in high school. Not to her parents. They’d kick her out. When she told them Quinn was pregnant and had gotten kicked out, they said that’s what happens to girls who don’t live right. No, Santana cannot come out as a lesbian to her parents. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t know who she is.
"I’m a lesbian," she whispers the word at her reflection. She glances at the door again to make sure it’s both closed and locked. "I’m in love with Brittany." That’s much easier to say. She’s loved Brittany from the minute they met. She’d do almost anything for her. She can’t do this.
Santana flops onto her bed and glares at the ceiling. This isn’t the way high school was supposed to go. She and Britt and Quinn were supposed to lead the Cheerios to four more National titles; she and Britt would be offered scholarships to any school they wanted; they would leave Lima and never come back. (Well, holidays because Brittany actually likes her family, but that’s just to visit. Santana and Brittany would never live in small-minded Lima again.) Then they could come out. Then they could be open about their relationship. None of this was supposed to happen. Fuckin’ glee club wasn’t supposed to happen and be fun and make everyone sing about their goddamn feelings.
Santana sits up and catches a glimpse of a picture on her dresser. She knows what it is but she gets up to look at it anyway. Rachel took it just after Sectionals. Santana and Brittany are laughing together, arms around one another; Britt’s head is thrown back, she's roaring with laughter and Santana’s staring at her, laughing along. But she was already with Artie then; dating the jackass that treats her like a child-whore hybrid. Santana stares at the photo, thoughts swirling and unfocused. She needs Brittany. She’ll do anything for Brittany. Glee. Landslide. Songs. Her head snaps up and a smirk curls its way across her mouth. "I’m a lesbian and I’m getting Brittany back," she says confidently. Now to call Tina and badger Quinn into letting them use her piano for a few hours. They’ve got a song to prepare.
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13 (Santana’s inner monologue swears)
Characters, Pairings: Santana Lopez, mentions Brittany/Santana
Word Count: ~400
Spoilers: Through 2x18 - Born This Way
Summary: After the ‘Born This Way’ performance, Santana has some thinking to do.
"Obviously you don’t love you as much as I love you or you would put the shirt on and dance with me." Santana hears Brittany’s words for hours after the performance. She can’t come out now. Not in high school. Not to her parents. They’d kick her out. When she told them Quinn was pregnant and had gotten kicked out, they said that’s what happens to girls who don’t live right. No, Santana cannot come out as a lesbian to her parents. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t know who she is.
"I’m a lesbian," she whispers the word at her reflection. She glances at the door again to make sure it’s both closed and locked. "I’m in love with Brittany." That’s much easier to say. She’s loved Brittany from the minute they met. She’d do almost anything for her. She can’t do this.
Santana flops onto her bed and glares at the ceiling. This isn’t the way high school was supposed to go. She and Britt and Quinn were supposed to lead the Cheerios to four more National titles; she and Britt would be offered scholarships to any school they wanted; they would leave Lima and never come back. (Well, holidays because Brittany actually likes her family, but that’s just to visit. Santana and Brittany would never live in small-minded Lima again.) Then they could come out. Then they could be open about their relationship. None of this was supposed to happen. Fuckin’ glee club wasn’t supposed to happen and be fun and make everyone sing about their goddamn feelings.
Santana sits up and catches a glimpse of a picture on her dresser. She knows what it is but she gets up to look at it anyway. Rachel took it just after Sectionals. Santana and Brittany are laughing together, arms around one another; Britt’s head is thrown back, she's roaring with laughter and Santana’s staring at her, laughing along. But she was already with Artie then; dating the jackass that treats her like a child-whore hybrid. Santana stares at the photo, thoughts swirling and unfocused. She needs Brittany. She’ll do anything for Brittany. Glee. Landslide. Songs. Her head snaps up and a smirk curls its way across her mouth. "I’m a lesbian and I’m getting Brittany back," she says confidently. Now to call Tina and badger Quinn into letting them use her piano for a few hours. They’ve got a song to prepare.