"어차피 너에게 난 그냥 좋은 친구잖아。。。"

Aug 03, 2012 00:17

my heart head hurts.


do you know? or are you too oblivious? i can't keep lying to you, or hiding, i'm just scared of your emotionless rejection,
i don't want to lose this pitiful friendship, 
        this, carefully built and glued together piece by piece by piece friendship.
it's an unrequited love. (what ever this love thing is, someone explain to me in detail.) a one-side thing. i'll bet this uncontrollable feeling that you do know. it's fine.
you can have my emotions.
you already settled yourself in my life.
        i lost this battle with my awkwardness at trying to save this failing thing, this friendship of ours. this isn't even a poem.
it's my way of telling myself to give up on you.

ㅠㅠ

everything.
everything, every step, breath was
         because of you.
my planned             future. 
every single excuse i tell,
every lie i make.
  to myself, to my family,
                                           to all others.
        to you.
it was
        you
  who made me do it.
i step
        towards you,
        but you
retreat             back.
further             away.
i keep myself breathing
        for you.
as if
        you
  even care, or know.
  one or the other, or both.
everything was 
  always
        for you.

the title is lyrics to lee seungi's because we're friends, for obvious reasons the first poem thing is like that song.
the second... thing, was my attempt at a "typography" or "concrete-ish" poem. though it has no shape or form, i tried. 
i tried, okay?

yoojinnie.

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