Can I give you my love, Im falling...
I just really have MIXED emotions about everything right about now.
I sleep alone now on the fold out bed in the living room because it wouldn't be right for me to sleep with him anymore.. He dosen't care if I do, I guess its best if I don't. Plus it would be wrong since im talking to someone or whatever.
Last night I couldn't sleep at all. This is no fun. lol
Honestly the more and more I think about it all I want to find is someone to love and trust and be there for me always...I dont even want a casual relationship.. I want someone to love... I dont want sex.. (wait I take that back I love sex) but I dont want to be with someone for sex..... GAY GUYS ARE FUCKING SLUTS! AHH I guess thats w/ almost everyone anyway....
But, I keep telling myself I shouldnt have to be inlove w/ someone to be happy.. But thats what I want?
Basically Q was my first real relationship and my first real love. Now im like well how many guys am I going to have to date and go through to find such a special person again..
When I look in his eyes all I think about is god I love this guy why did it have to end this way. He was everything. We understood eachother.. We really had a connection. I'm ok of the fact that its over.
I'm just afraid I'm not going to find that again..