When you say “no,” and you mean “no,”

[onlyariana]

“When you say “no,” and you mean “no,” and the other person, regardless of whether it’s in a situation where somebody wants to attack you or a situation where somebody wants to change your opinion

Comments

[sayga]

At home, our rule is that no means no. I started to write an entry about it but never finished... Ha. When tickling, if the kid shouts "no" or "stop," we stop instantly. They have to ask to continue to get tickled. And I tell them, "you have the right to say no, and have someone stop touching you. If they don't, you are allowed to get mad. You SHOULD get mad. No means no." I remind them it goes the other way too, and if someone asks/tells them to stop, they need to be respectful and listen. They can stop and try to explain with words, if the situation allows for it, but the touching stops when someone says no or stop. I like to frame it in the tickling sense for the kids, so they don't get too paranoid about molesters waiting around every corner but they still know they deserve to have their body and space protected.

[onlyariana]

I had a grandpa who would tickle mercilessly. I HATED it and begged and pleaded whenever possible to get him to stop but I was always told I needed to learn to deal with it and that tickling was fun by my parents and any other adults. I was seen as a bad kid because I wasn't happy my grandpa was playing with me. I wasn't able to catch my breath because he'd tickle for so long and I actually thought I was going to die. I can easily remember that feeling and I *literally* will have a PTSD flashback when tickled even now.

I think it's great that you're teaching your children that they get to decide how they are treated in this way.