Greatest Hits - HIMYM Barney/Robin fic - 1/2
Title: Greatest Hits
Author: modernxxmyth
Rating: PG-13
Fandom/pairing: How I Met Your Mother, Barney/Robin. Mentions of Barney/Nora.
Warnings: Language, I guess.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Nora cheats on Barney, and he goes to Robin for comfort.
Greatest Hits
It was just past 2 AM when Robin heard insistent banging on her door. She sighed and rolled over in her bed. She'd been asleep for maybe thirty minutes when the knocking occurred. She shrugged it off and ignored it. If they kept it up, Ted would answer the door. The knocking persisted. Robin groaned.
"Dammit," she muttered under her breath, sitting up. She'd just remembered that Ted had gone home with some random skank that night and wasn't home. He'd been getting pretty lucky lately, seeing as he was a very marketable, successful bachelor at the moment.
Now she just had to figure out who the hell was knocking on her door at 2 AM. Like any proper gun nut, she grabbed her .99 millimeter as she went to answer the door, just in case.
As Robin opened the door, she said, "I have a gun, buddy, and I'm actually quite trigger happy."
On the other side of the door was Barney, tears shining in his eyes and scotch on his breath.
"Oh my god," Robin uttered. She put the gun down and ushered him inside.
Barney looked lost. "Ted here?"
Robin shook her head. "He's with some woman."
"Good for him," Barney said bitterly.
She led him to the couch, and they sat down.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
"I don't know."
"Do you want a drink?"
He nodded.
She fixed a couple of scotches and passed one to him.
Barney visibly relaxed after the first sip. He cleared his throat.
"Nora cheated on me."
Robin choked on her drink. "Oh my god."
Barney nodded.
Robin continued, "Wow. I'm so sorry."
He took another sip of his scotch.
"She told me a couple hours ago. It's over."
He paused and took another sip of his scotch.
"More than anything else, I can't believe I actually tried for another relationship, just to have the same thing happen to me that happened with Shannon. Never again. I don't know why I thought I needed to be in a relationship."
Robin could see the mask falling back into place. She could see the transformation back into the old Barney happening right before her eyes. She bit her lip.
"Barney…not every woman is going to cheat. Nora wasn't right for you. You worked so hard trying to please her. She was always so concerned about you cheating on her from the beginning, and she turned around and did it to you herself."
She shook her head in disbelief
Robin continued, "You were actually a good boyfriend. She's a bitch, and when I see her at work, I'm probably going to key her car."
This got a small chuckle out of Barney. "She takes the subway."
Robin frowned. "It's the thought that counts?"
"Guess so."
Robin placed a hand on Barney's thigh. "You're going to find the right woman for you, Barney. Nora just wasn't it."
She had to physically restrain herself from telling him that it could be her.
He shook his head. "I'm not. There is no one right woman for me. I'm going back to my old ways. I was awesome back then."
Barney finished his scotch and went on quietly, "And back then nothing could hurt me."
Robin groaned. "Yes, it could. You think you couldn't get hurt when you were sleeping with half the state? That's bullshit. Barney, you have come so far. You have no idea how proud I have been of you lately. Sleeping with every woman in sight doesn't make you awesome. You make you awesome. Your personality makes you awesome. Not sleeping with every woman above a 6 in New York City. That's not awesome. You've grown up a lot. Relationship Barney can be awesome, too."
"Not if I can't keep anyone from cheating on me. Not if anyone I ever love can stay faithful. I can't believe this happened again. I guess this is just what I get for screwing over those women. I get cheated on every time I actually try to have a relationship."
That was the last straw for Robin.
"I didn't cheat on you."
"What?"
"I didn't cheat on you. So shut the fuck up about how everyone cheats on you, okay? Because I'm actually starting to take offense at this point. Not everyone you've ever been in a relationship with has cheated on you. We may have had a shitty run, but I'd like to think I still counted for something. I get that we don't talk about our romantic past or whatever the hell you want to call it, but jesus Barney, we used to be together. I never cheated on you, so can you at least stop saying that everyone you have ever…" She wouldn't let herself say loved, "cared about has cheated on you, please?"
Barney looked dumbfounded.
Robin spoke quietly, "I'm going to grab a couple more scotches."
She returned a couple minutes later with their drinks, much calmer than before.
They both drank in silence for a moment, then Barney turned to her and spoke up.
"I'm sorry."
Robin sighed. "I'm sorry, too. I don't know where that came from."
"No, I shouldn't have been going on like that. It's not like I don't care that we've dated. It's just…we don't talk about it. So I don't mention it. And I don't think about it because we've basically been acting like the relationship never happened since we broke up. We've talked about it maybe once since it ended. So I just…don't reference it. You don't either. I thought that was the way you wanted things to be."
She shrugged. "Usually it is. But then when you say things like what you said it just makes me feel like I never meant anything to you."
"You meant a lot to me, Robin. A hell of a lot. You still do. You're more than a bro to me, despite whatever stupid things I say. You're kind of my best friend. Don't tell Ted."
Robin nodded sadly and rested her head on Barney's shoulder.
"I'm sorry Nora cheated on you. You don't deserve it. You deserve a lot better than that."
Barney nodded and put an arm around Robin's shoulder. "I'm sorry I was such an ass."
She sighed and relaxed into his body. She supposed this was the best she was going to get. "It's okay."
They spent the next hour in that same position while staring aimlessly at whatever was on the TV until they both passed out on the couch.
---------
Part 2
Author: modernxxmyth
Rating: PG-13
Fandom/pairing: How I Met Your Mother, Barney/Robin. Mentions of Barney/Nora.
Warnings: Language, I guess.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Nora cheats on Barney, and he goes to Robin for comfort.
Greatest Hits
It was just past 2 AM when Robin heard insistent banging on her door. She sighed and rolled over in her bed. She'd been asleep for maybe thirty minutes when the knocking occurred. She shrugged it off and ignored it. If they kept it up, Ted would answer the door. The knocking persisted. Robin groaned.
"Dammit," she muttered under her breath, sitting up. She'd just remembered that Ted had gone home with some random skank that night and wasn't home. He'd been getting pretty lucky lately, seeing as he was a very marketable, successful bachelor at the moment.
Now she just had to figure out who the hell was knocking on her door at 2 AM. Like any proper gun nut, she grabbed her .99 millimeter as she went to answer the door, just in case.
As Robin opened the door, she said, "I have a gun, buddy, and I'm actually quite trigger happy."
On the other side of the door was Barney, tears shining in his eyes and scotch on his breath.
"Oh my god," Robin uttered. She put the gun down and ushered him inside.
Barney looked lost. "Ted here?"
Robin shook her head. "He's with some woman."
"Good for him," Barney said bitterly.
She led him to the couch, and they sat down.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
"I don't know."
"Do you want a drink?"
He nodded.
She fixed a couple of scotches and passed one to him.
Barney visibly relaxed after the first sip. He cleared his throat.
"Nora cheated on me."
Robin choked on her drink. "Oh my god."
Barney nodded.
Robin continued, "Wow. I'm so sorry."
He took another sip of his scotch.
"She told me a couple hours ago. It's over."
He paused and took another sip of his scotch.
"More than anything else, I can't believe I actually tried for another relationship, just to have the same thing happen to me that happened with Shannon. Never again. I don't know why I thought I needed to be in a relationship."
Robin could see the mask falling back into place. She could see the transformation back into the old Barney happening right before her eyes. She bit her lip.
"Barney…not every woman is going to cheat. Nora wasn't right for you. You worked so hard trying to please her. She was always so concerned about you cheating on her from the beginning, and she turned around and did it to you herself."
She shook her head in disbelief
Robin continued, "You were actually a good boyfriend. She's a bitch, and when I see her at work, I'm probably going to key her car."
This got a small chuckle out of Barney. "She takes the subway."
Robin frowned. "It's the thought that counts?"
"Guess so."
Robin placed a hand on Barney's thigh. "You're going to find the right woman for you, Barney. Nora just wasn't it."
She had to physically restrain herself from telling him that it could be her.
He shook his head. "I'm not. There is no one right woman for me. I'm going back to my old ways. I was awesome back then."
Barney finished his scotch and went on quietly, "And back then nothing could hurt me."
Robin groaned. "Yes, it could. You think you couldn't get hurt when you were sleeping with half the state? That's bullshit. Barney, you have come so far. You have no idea how proud I have been of you lately. Sleeping with every woman in sight doesn't make you awesome. You make you awesome. Your personality makes you awesome. Not sleeping with every woman above a 6 in New York City. That's not awesome. You've grown up a lot. Relationship Barney can be awesome, too."
"Not if I can't keep anyone from cheating on me. Not if anyone I ever love can stay faithful. I can't believe this happened again. I guess this is just what I get for screwing over those women. I get cheated on every time I actually try to have a relationship."
That was the last straw for Robin.
"I didn't cheat on you."
"What?"
"I didn't cheat on you. So shut the fuck up about how everyone cheats on you, okay? Because I'm actually starting to take offense at this point. Not everyone you've ever been in a relationship with has cheated on you. We may have had a shitty run, but I'd like to think I still counted for something. I get that we don't talk about our romantic past or whatever the hell you want to call it, but jesus Barney, we used to be together. I never cheated on you, so can you at least stop saying that everyone you have ever…" She wouldn't let herself say loved, "cared about has cheated on you, please?"
Barney looked dumbfounded.
Robin spoke quietly, "I'm going to grab a couple more scotches."
She returned a couple minutes later with their drinks, much calmer than before.
They both drank in silence for a moment, then Barney turned to her and spoke up.
"I'm sorry."
Robin sighed. "I'm sorry, too. I don't know where that came from."
"No, I shouldn't have been going on like that. It's not like I don't care that we've dated. It's just…we don't talk about it. So I don't mention it. And I don't think about it because we've basically been acting like the relationship never happened since we broke up. We've talked about it maybe once since it ended. So I just…don't reference it. You don't either. I thought that was the way you wanted things to be."
She shrugged. "Usually it is. But then when you say things like what you said it just makes me feel like I never meant anything to you."
"You meant a lot to me, Robin. A hell of a lot. You still do. You're more than a bro to me, despite whatever stupid things I say. You're kind of my best friend. Don't tell Ted."
Robin nodded sadly and rested her head on Barney's shoulder.
"I'm sorry Nora cheated on you. You don't deserve it. You deserve a lot better than that."
Barney nodded and put an arm around Robin's shoulder. "I'm sorry I was such an ass."
She sighed and relaxed into his body. She supposed this was the best she was going to get. "It's okay."
They spent the next hour in that same position while staring aimlessly at whatever was on the TV until they both passed out on the couch.
---------
Part 2