"And I'd steal your tongue Just so you could never tell me to let go again"
Honestly,I thought I could handle this, I thought I was strong enough to take on the fucking world, but I'm not. I can only take so much, I can only lose so much before nothing is left. I feel as though theres no one I can trust and open up to anymore. I have never told anyone to their face how I really feel, I don't have the ability to open up to someone cuz it hurts to much to lose someone. I thought it would be better to see Surg, but it just makes it harder. The first goodbye was hard, but the second time was worse. I'm going to see him monday but I dont know if I can do this. It just hurts to much, it seems like I'm saying goodbye too many times. Theres not a single guy that I feel I can trust, I can't trust my dad, he's NEVER been there for me, my brother is gone, and hes the only one that has been there for me and Surg is off fucking around at school. I don't want to get in the way, but its starting to feel like he doesnt have time for me like he used to, its all about his new friends. When I was leaving he was like I'm not sure if tonight is a good night to call me, it might be to loud, which to me of course translates as to I'm too busy for you. I don't like this at all. I may be fine during the day but my nights alone are spent crying. there is too much sorrow in my life. I'm too young to be feeling the things I do, life is cruel, love is cruel, the world is fucking cruel. I no longer feel as though I can take on the world by storm. The world is a fucked up place and if I knew what was best for me I would have avoided it. Fuck this thing called life.