(no subject)
The past couple months have been like a mental renaissance for me. My mind is growing and challenging and learning and I have been trying to focus on strengthening the Self. Yesterday I realized something that has set me back quite a bit. I have always been a big supporter of love, but now I am seeing it as a weakness. I am just having a hard time understanding how something so great as love, can be accompanied by feelings of anxiety, worry, jealousy, doubt. All of these things are draining on the self. How can you have one and not the other? How can you be selfless and selfish. I've realized situations in the past where caring too much can get you hurt in the long run, but I never really looked at it the way I am now. I think for now, I'd rather do without it and focus on myself, but I just dont know how to turn these things off. That's just not who I am. Maybe this isn't love at all.