Please Bring a Photo of Your Inner Beauty for the Shadchan.
In 1996, Sacker studied ultra-Orthodox and Syrian Jewish communities in Brooklyn and found that 1 out of 19 girls was diagnosed with an eating disorder - a rate about 50 percent higher than the general U.S. population.
From here.
That whole article is so incredibly ironic in light of the kiruv machine's continuous insistence that following the laws of tznius will ensure that women are valued for their inner beauty. There is an entire section of chabad.org dedicated to explaining the laws of tznius as a vehicle for letting people see you as "who you really are" instead of just your physical appearance. There are whole books devoted to this approach.
And yet there is such a total disconnect in the frum world. Aside from eating disorders, it is relatively common to hear complaints about shadchonim who request a photo of the girl or parents who ask about dress and cup size before considering a match. Despite the long skirts and buttoned blouses, it seems that women are still not being valued for their inner essence, huh?
So what's up with that? Why such high prevalences of eating disorders in a society where what supposedly matters is your soul, your dreams, your personality?
Some people will say that the evil Western modern world has encroached upon us and so now the frum communities have fallen prey to the values of secular society. But, see, I don't think that's historically accurate. I don't think shtetl-shadchonim from the 1800s only cared about the inner essence of a woman and paid no attention to how she looks. Beauty has always been prized and coveted.
I'm thinking this recent problem is because of all the tznius rules, not despite them. It seems to be human nature that some people want to stand out, want to look different or better than others around them. And if community dress codes prevent them from standing out in terms of clothing choices or hairstyles, they will stand out in terms of body size.
Or maybe not, maybe I am just finding more reasons to be annoyed with tznius rules and the prevalence of eating disorders has nothing to do with modesty requirements. Eating disorders are extremely complicated and maybe I am oversimplifying.
But Orthodox Jewish girls are not the only ones with high eating disorder rates. They share that honor with Muslim girls, whose rates are almost double that of the general population. From here. It makes you think.