Letter Number Two

[onionsoupmix]

Dear Mom,

I remember looking at the faded photographs too. I remember seeing the bearded rabbi and his pious wife and being amazed that they were related to me. I remember thinking that they looked peaceful and holy and that I should memorize every wrinkle on their smiling faces.

I also remember you were so happy when you found out we were

Comments

[onionsoupmix]

I think this clearly points to the fact that the disagreement was religious rather than racial. So what? This is also pretty horrible. How would I look if I decided that I don't want my children going to school with anyone whose parent has a beard? Or keeps shabbos? Or eats cholov yisroel? I'd be called an anti-semite, at best. This is the same thing.

Secondly, I believe reasonable people would want to send their children to a school where "everyone is the same" to a certain degree. One can disagree about what that degree (and as someone who obviously uses the internet, text messaging, etc I disagree with their level), but I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with my children going to school with non-Jews or people who weren't shomer shabbos, for example

This is a lack of confidence in yourself as a parent. Do you really think that your parental influence is so limited that a child who is not shomer shabbos in your kid's room will make your kid go off the derech? If the our children are only able to appreciate the beauty of Judaism by having them grow up in a bubble, what's it worth? If a friend who watches TV on shabbos or eats treife is enough to make our children drop all observance, what's it all worth? It's like insisting that a husband wear blinders so that he can never see any other women but his wife. It's not a real choice then, is it, to stay frum, to stay loyal?

Finally, reasonable people can decide to go to jail for their beliefs, even if they have small children at home. I'm not saying that I would make that choice. But what if it was the other way around, and the parents who went to jail were African Americans fighting for integration or civil rights in the 60s?

And here is where I will disagree most vehemently with you. Parents are the most important people in their children's lives. Watching your parent being arrested is traumatic on many different levels. Being in jail is not like going on a business trip where you call every night before the kids are in bed and say love you, g'night. Being arrested has many consequences in society, from ability to attain employment to credit applications, etc. All of these will affect your kids in numerous ways.

It would be a cold day in hell when I get myself purposely arrested for a cause I believe in. I would sooner move countries than do that. So that means, America can disassemble the constitution and reinstitute slavery for all I care and I am still not planning on getting arrested until my kids are 18 and independent.