Rabbi OSM Answers the Big Questions.
A little comic relief for y'all.
Here's the scene. OSM has picked up her two children from preschool and is walking to her car. There are plenty of other parents within earshot. We are all walking to our cars.
5-Year-Old: Mommy, when you get a lot of money... a lot of money...
OSM: Yeah?
5-Year-Old: Mommy, when you get a lot of money, can you buy us a baby?
OSM: Uh, no.
3-Year-Old: buy a baby, buy a baby, buy a barbie, buy a barbie...la-la-la...
5-Year-Old (really loud now, talking over her sister,): Mommy, mommy! Listen, mommy! How do we get a baby? I really want a baby! Mommy, I want a baby, how do I get one?
OSM: Uh.. well...when you grow up, you can have a baby.
5-Year-Old (yelling now) : I want a baby now! Right now! I want a baby! How do I get a baby?
OSM (mortified, looking around at the other parents): Shhh. Let's use our indoor voices. When you grow up, you will get married and there will be a daddy who will help you with the baby, so you can have a baby then.
5-Year-Old (after some quiet thought, during which OSM manages to stuff everyone into the car very quickly): But Mommy! Where will I ever find a boy to marry me?
OSM: Uh... well, when you grow up you will go to college. Or maybe seminary. And you will meet lots of boys there. Okay, probably you will not meet a lot of boys in seminary. But college should be a good place to meet people.
5-Year-Old: Babies are soooo cute. Like squirrels. What's for supper?