[Teen Lessons] [Lesson XVI]
Title: Teen Lessons
Pairing: Akame
Disclaimer: They're not mine. Sad but true.
Rating: NC-17 | PG-13 today.
Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya is Akanishi Jin's favourite kohai. Jin is eighteen, Kazuya is sixteen. A little too old to still be as innocent as he is, Jin thinks. And he can - and will - take care of that.
A/N: My awesome beta is nubello
Previously: Lesson I | Lesson II | Lesson III | Lesson IV | Lesson V | Lesson VI | Lesson VII | Lesson VIII | Lesson IX | Lesson X | Lesson XI | Lesson XII | Lesson XIII | Lesson XIV | Lesson XV
Pi dialed Jin’s number, pressing the cell close to his ear and covering the other one with his hand, trying to block the loud noises from the bunch of guys around him. He had to yell to make himself heard anyway.
“Jin?! I’m Tomohisa!”
“Pi?”
“The guys and I are going to karaoke, why don’t you tag along?!”
“No, thanks.”
“But Jin! You have barely gone out this summer! Come and have a little fun!”
“I’ fine, Pi. Bye.”
Yamapi was left with no reply as the ringtone signaled Jin had hung up. The boy sighed, putting away his phone and turning toward his noisy friends.
Jin buried his face further in his pillow when the doorbell rang. He had pulled the comforter over his head, and he didn’t want to come out of the comfy dark warmth, but whoever was at the door was insistent and the bell rang again. Jin grunted something under his bed and dragged himself out of bed and downstairs toward the main door. He was surprised to find a frowning best friend of his waiting outside.
“What took you so long?”
“Pi? I- I thought you were out with the guys...”
“And I was out until some depressed idiot made me come back.”
“I didn’t ask you to come!”
“You don’t need to ask.”
Jin watched confused as Pi pushed past him into the house. The boy disappeared into the kitchen to grab two cans of melon soda and two packages of choco banana pocky. He wasn’t surprised to find that Jin was nowhere to be seen when he went out, so he just went upstairs and let himself into Jin’s bedroom. There was a big lump under the covers of the bed.
Pi threw himself onto Jin’s bed, taking a long gulp of his soda. He opened a package of Pocky and held one between the covers and the pillow. Jin poked his head outside just the time enough to grab the snack between his teeth and cowered back in his refuge. Pi quirked and eyebrow.
“I thought the turtle was your boyfriend, not you.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Right. And I presume that’s the problem.”
“I don’t have any problem.”
Pi sighed, placing another Pocky on the hand Jin had sneaked out of the covers, which disappeared as soon as the snack was in its reach. “And can I ask why you have been mopping here all summer if you don’t have problems?”
There was an incomprehensible mumble that supposedly qualified as an answer, and Jin snuggled more into the covers before sneaking his hand out again, asking for more food. Pi poked its palm with a Pocky, but retired it before Jin had time to grab it. He chuckled, repeating it a few times until Jin whined and retrieved his hand with a rustle of sheets and a huff.
“If you’re going to be mean you could as well go back to the karaoke.”
“I wouldn’t be mean if you talked with me.”
“We are talking now.”
“We’re arguing now.”
“The same.”
“No, Jin. It’s not the same. There’s something wrong with you, and I’m worried and I’m here to talk it over, so get out of there so we can have a civilized conversation.”
There were a few moments of silence and then Jin poked his head out. He was pale compared to Pi’s tan, his hair ruffled and his clothes messy and dishelved. He had been very obviously lacking sleep, for his eyes were slightly swollen and red. He smiled gratefully at Pi when his friend handed him the melon soda, taking a large gulp before grabbing the Pocky package to continue devouring them.
“Are you going to tell me what happened, Jin?”
“Nothing. Everything is fine. Life is happy and shiny. Can I go back under the covers?”
“No until you talk with me. What happened with Kamenashi, Jin?”
“Why do think something happened?”
“Jin, please, stop it. I’m here because I’m your friend, and I’m worried and I think you need someone to talk, but I can’t help you if you don’t stop pretending nothing has happened.”
Jin looked down, biting his lip and he picked at the Pockys for a while. He finally sighed and leaned down to rest his head on Pi’s shoulder. He felt his friend raising a hand to ruffle his hair affectionately.
“I... haven’t talked much to Kame lately. For the last couple of months.”
“And why would that be?”
“He’s... dating that girl... Kagami-chan.”
“And? Shouldn’t you be happy for him?”
“And I am! I just... I miss him, Pi. I can’t spend time with him anymore!” Jin whined, pulling on Pi’s arm as to prove his point.
“That he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean you can’t hang out together anymore, you know.”
“But I don’t like seeing him with her! I... I want to be happy for him, because he does look happy but... I just can’t! I... I just... It... hurts... when I see them...”
Pi sighed, running his fingers through Jin’s hair in a reassuring way. “You liked him, right?” He felt Jin nodding softly against his shoulder, and snuggling closer to his body. “Jin... You should have confessed when you had the chance...”
Jin revolved suddenly, pushing Pi away. He was looking angry, frustrated, and Yamapi wasn’t surprised to find tears shinning in his eyes.
“Do you really think I didn’t consider it?! Do you think it’s that easy?! I confess to him and then what?! He admits he’s gay, and that he’s fallen in love with his best friend because that happens everyday between teenagers nowadays! Who would call him a fucking faggot, or a sick mind?!”
“Jin...”
“Of course he’d be happy to proclaim he’s gay! Of course he’d be happy to show it off, walking around the school with me! Because nobody would tease him, nor bully him! Teenagers are such comprehensive people, right?! He’d-”
“Jin! Stop it. Don’t scream at me. It’s not my fault.”
Jin stopped what he was about to say, looking at his best friend from a moment. He calmed down slowly, shoulders falling forward as he plopped himself down on the bed again, curling against Pi’s body. He looked up at him with watering puppy eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Jin.”
“I thought about confessing to him but... What if he thought I’m a freak? What if he didn’t want to hear about me again? It’s not everyday that your best friend confesses to you... I love him, but I don’t want to lose him... Not as a friend...”
“Jin, you slept together, right? If he thought you’re a freak, he would have thought so a long time ago.”
“But sleeping together... Sex is not... It’s not love...”
“Kamenashi was all head over heels for you.”
“Even if he accepted... Even if he accepted to go out with me, accepted he’s gay and in love with me... What if he got bullied at school? How can I put him through that? What if his friends left him? He’d have such a hard time... What if he ended resenting me, Pi? What if he ended up hating me?”
“You’re being silly, Jin. You’ve been so close this year that everybody already thought you two were dating. When he started going out with Kagami-chan I got asked if you had broke up a hundred and one times! And has he got bullied even once? Have his friends left him?”
“No... But what if-”
“You can’t continue thinking like that! ‘What if’s won’t get you anywhere, Jin! What if he had accepted you and everything had gone well? What if he had been happy to go out with you? What if the world ends tomorrow? You can’t know that, Jin!”
“But... I don’t want him to hate me...”
“Jin, Kamenashi’s stronger than you think him to be. Even if he gets bullied, if he wants to be with you, he’ll stand it. You have to give the kid some credit. He’s not a porcelain doll. I’d say he’s even stronger than you!”
“But... When I came out of the closet... When I said I was gay... I had such a hard time at school... My friends left me... Only you... I had to change schools, I got bullied, I-”
“No, Jin. You didn’t get bullied because you were gay, and you know it. Your friends left you for a completely different reason, and you got enough warnings. It was only your fault. I know you repented, and that you learnt your lesson, but don’t say it was because of being gay when you know it isn’t true.”
Jin fell silent. He bit his lip, scrunching the empty can of soda between his hands. His shoulders started shaking lightly, and he snuggled closer to Pi’s body, resting his head on his best friend’s lap. Soon he was sobbing against the boy’s t-shirt, fisting the material.
“Pi... I- I miss him... So much it hurts...”
Yamapi sighed, leaning back against the headboard as he stroked Jin’s hair reassuringly.
“Here we go again.”
Pairing: Akame
Disclaimer: They're not mine. Sad but true.
Rating: NC-17 | PG-13 today.
Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya is Akanishi Jin's favourite kohai. Jin is eighteen, Kazuya is sixteen. A little too old to still be as innocent as he is, Jin thinks. And he can - and will - take care of that.
A/N: My awesome beta is nubello
Previously: Lesson I | Lesson II | Lesson III | Lesson IV | Lesson V | Lesson VI | Lesson VII | Lesson VIII | Lesson IX | Lesson X | Lesson XI | Lesson XII | Lesson XIII | Lesson XIV | Lesson XV
Pi dialed Jin’s number, pressing the cell close to his ear and covering the other one with his hand, trying to block the loud noises from the bunch of guys around him. He had to yell to make himself heard anyway.
“Jin?! I’m Tomohisa!”
“Pi?”
“The guys and I are going to karaoke, why don’t you tag along?!”
“No, thanks.”
“But Jin! You have barely gone out this summer! Come and have a little fun!”
“I’ fine, Pi. Bye.”
Yamapi was left with no reply as the ringtone signaled Jin had hung up. The boy sighed, putting away his phone and turning toward his noisy friends.
Jin buried his face further in his pillow when the doorbell rang. He had pulled the comforter over his head, and he didn’t want to come out of the comfy dark warmth, but whoever was at the door was insistent and the bell rang again. Jin grunted something under his bed and dragged himself out of bed and downstairs toward the main door. He was surprised to find a frowning best friend of his waiting outside.
“What took you so long?”
“Pi? I- I thought you were out with the guys...”
“And I was out until some depressed idiot made me come back.”
“I didn’t ask you to come!”
“You don’t need to ask.”
Jin watched confused as Pi pushed past him into the house. The boy disappeared into the kitchen to grab two cans of melon soda and two packages of choco banana pocky. He wasn’t surprised to find that Jin was nowhere to be seen when he went out, so he just went upstairs and let himself into Jin’s bedroom. There was a big lump under the covers of the bed.
Pi threw himself onto Jin’s bed, taking a long gulp of his soda. He opened a package of Pocky and held one between the covers and the pillow. Jin poked his head outside just the time enough to grab the snack between his teeth and cowered back in his refuge. Pi quirked and eyebrow.
“I thought the turtle was your boyfriend, not you.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Right. And I presume that’s the problem.”
“I don’t have any problem.”
Pi sighed, placing another Pocky on the hand Jin had sneaked out of the covers, which disappeared as soon as the snack was in its reach. “And can I ask why you have been mopping here all summer if you don’t have problems?”
There was an incomprehensible mumble that supposedly qualified as an answer, and Jin snuggled more into the covers before sneaking his hand out again, asking for more food. Pi poked its palm with a Pocky, but retired it before Jin had time to grab it. He chuckled, repeating it a few times until Jin whined and retrieved his hand with a rustle of sheets and a huff.
“If you’re going to be mean you could as well go back to the karaoke.”
“I wouldn’t be mean if you talked with me.”
“We are talking now.”
“We’re arguing now.”
“The same.”
“No, Jin. It’s not the same. There’s something wrong with you, and I’m worried and I’m here to talk it over, so get out of there so we can have a civilized conversation.”
There were a few moments of silence and then Jin poked his head out. He was pale compared to Pi’s tan, his hair ruffled and his clothes messy and dishelved. He had been very obviously lacking sleep, for his eyes were slightly swollen and red. He smiled gratefully at Pi when his friend handed him the melon soda, taking a large gulp before grabbing the Pocky package to continue devouring them.
“Are you going to tell me what happened, Jin?”
“Nothing. Everything is fine. Life is happy and shiny. Can I go back under the covers?”
“No until you talk with me. What happened with Kamenashi, Jin?”
“Why do think something happened?”
“Jin, please, stop it. I’m here because I’m your friend, and I’m worried and I think you need someone to talk, but I can’t help you if you don’t stop pretending nothing has happened.”
Jin looked down, biting his lip and he picked at the Pockys for a while. He finally sighed and leaned down to rest his head on Pi’s shoulder. He felt his friend raising a hand to ruffle his hair affectionately.
“I... haven’t talked much to Kame lately. For the last couple of months.”
“And why would that be?”
“He’s... dating that girl... Kagami-chan.”
“And? Shouldn’t you be happy for him?”
“And I am! I just... I miss him, Pi. I can’t spend time with him anymore!” Jin whined, pulling on Pi’s arm as to prove his point.
“That he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean you can’t hang out together anymore, you know.”
“But I don’t like seeing him with her! I... I want to be happy for him, because he does look happy but... I just can’t! I... I just... It... hurts... when I see them...”
Pi sighed, running his fingers through Jin’s hair in a reassuring way. “You liked him, right?” He felt Jin nodding softly against his shoulder, and snuggling closer to his body. “Jin... You should have confessed when you had the chance...”
Jin revolved suddenly, pushing Pi away. He was looking angry, frustrated, and Yamapi wasn’t surprised to find tears shinning in his eyes.
“Do you really think I didn’t consider it?! Do you think it’s that easy?! I confess to him and then what?! He admits he’s gay, and that he’s fallen in love with his best friend because that happens everyday between teenagers nowadays! Who would call him a fucking faggot, or a sick mind?!”
“Jin...”
“Of course he’d be happy to proclaim he’s gay! Of course he’d be happy to show it off, walking around the school with me! Because nobody would tease him, nor bully him! Teenagers are such comprehensive people, right?! He’d-”
“Jin! Stop it. Don’t scream at me. It’s not my fault.”
Jin stopped what he was about to say, looking at his best friend from a moment. He calmed down slowly, shoulders falling forward as he plopped himself down on the bed again, curling against Pi’s body. He looked up at him with watering puppy eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Jin.”
“I thought about confessing to him but... What if he thought I’m a freak? What if he didn’t want to hear about me again? It’s not everyday that your best friend confesses to you... I love him, but I don’t want to lose him... Not as a friend...”
“Jin, you slept together, right? If he thought you’re a freak, he would have thought so a long time ago.”
“But sleeping together... Sex is not... It’s not love...”
“Kamenashi was all head over heels for you.”
“Even if he accepted... Even if he accepted to go out with me, accepted he’s gay and in love with me... What if he got bullied at school? How can I put him through that? What if his friends left him? He’d have such a hard time... What if he ended resenting me, Pi? What if he ended up hating me?”
“You’re being silly, Jin. You’ve been so close this year that everybody already thought you two were dating. When he started going out with Kagami-chan I got asked if you had broke up a hundred and one times! And has he got bullied even once? Have his friends left him?”
“No... But what if-”
“You can’t continue thinking like that! ‘What if’s won’t get you anywhere, Jin! What if he had accepted you and everything had gone well? What if he had been happy to go out with you? What if the world ends tomorrow? You can’t know that, Jin!”
“But... I don’t want him to hate me...”
“Jin, Kamenashi’s stronger than you think him to be. Even if he gets bullied, if he wants to be with you, he’ll stand it. You have to give the kid some credit. He’s not a porcelain doll. I’d say he’s even stronger than you!”
“But... When I came out of the closet... When I said I was gay... I had such a hard time at school... My friends left me... Only you... I had to change schools, I got bullied, I-”
“No, Jin. You didn’t get bullied because you were gay, and you know it. Your friends left you for a completely different reason, and you got enough warnings. It was only your fault. I know you repented, and that you learnt your lesson, but don’t say it was because of being gay when you know it isn’t true.”
Jin fell silent. He bit his lip, scrunching the empty can of soda between his hands. His shoulders started shaking lightly, and he snuggled closer to Pi’s body, resting his head on his best friend’s lap. Soon he was sobbing against the boy’s t-shirt, fisting the material.
“Pi... I- I miss him... So much it hurts...”
Yamapi sighed, leaning back against the headboard as he stroked Jin’s hair reassuringly.
“Here we go again.”