Pondering the years before and losses along the way...
Sometimes I feel I dont know how to let go...
that I don't understand others' points of views...
I still feel a loss for friends who arent in my life anymore. I had a friend in high school and we parted ways unamicably and I still miss her sometimes. I guess for me it's normal to miss one I was close to. I include her as part of my life's journey. (As well as any others who have come and gone from my life.)
But I know for others it's normal to not recall and even erase the existance of another who has been in their life. I'm not sure either is wrong. I just don't understand how one can just "erase" such things and with such ease.
Maybe I'm too sensitive...as there are many times I feel hurt or that I caused everything to happen...(I do know I am not responsible for others' thoughts or actions)
It could be that I think too much (well just read this entry for example)
Maybe I felt there was a connection when there really wasn't (I tend to feel close to some and I think that they are not as close as I believe to be)
Whatever the case...when it comes down to it... I just know that I'm different. I suppose it takes all kind of people to fill this crazy world... I'm just one of them...
I think I'm ahead of the New Year's contemplation lately! Well I guess the only constant thing is change... and with moving to Tacoma and the loss of a family member, and ones who I held dear, I'm in my thinking mode.
I'm not perfect. I don't know everything. I'm still learning. Life can be such a mystery and I'm not always a good detective. Sometimes I miss what is right in front of me. (That was always the best way to hide the cookies when I was a kid... uh, wait... that STILL is!)
So I'm reminded of a quote from one of my favorite movies:
13th warrior: Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.
that I don't understand others' points of views...
I still feel a loss for friends who arent in my life anymore. I had a friend in high school and we parted ways unamicably and I still miss her sometimes. I guess for me it's normal to miss one I was close to. I include her as part of my life's journey. (As well as any others who have come and gone from my life.)
But I know for others it's normal to not recall and even erase the existance of another who has been in their life. I'm not sure either is wrong. I just don't understand how one can just "erase" such things and with such ease.
Maybe I'm too sensitive...as there are many times I feel hurt or that I caused everything to happen...(I do know I am not responsible for others' thoughts or actions)
It could be that I think too much (well just read this entry for example)
Maybe I felt there was a connection when there really wasn't (I tend to feel close to some and I think that they are not as close as I believe to be)
Whatever the case...when it comes down to it... I just know that I'm different. I suppose it takes all kind of people to fill this crazy world... I'm just one of them...
I think I'm ahead of the New Year's contemplation lately! Well I guess the only constant thing is change... and with moving to Tacoma and the loss of a family member, and ones who I held dear, I'm in my thinking mode.
I'm not perfect. I don't know everything. I'm still learning. Life can be such a mystery and I'm not always a good detective. Sometimes I miss what is right in front of me. (That was always the best way to hide the cookies when I was a kid... uh, wait... that STILL is!)
So I'm reminded of a quote from one of my favorite movies:
13th warrior: Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.