Accept
Title: Accept
Author: argh (@ oneuldo)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,147
Pairing: Howon/Sungjong
Summary: Sungjong has a chat to himself in the middle of the night, but Hoya walks in and overhears him. Things get awkward for both of them after that/
Warnings: unbeta-ed ^^; dfljdslk fail summary?
Notes: So this started as a drabble - the pairing (and prompt "accept") from a prompt generator! :/ It ended up 5k oops instead of a drabble!! Hopefully it's not too long :c and draggy. Posting this for my bb~ Kiti! ♥
ΞΘΞ
Sungjong sighed softly as he eyed his reflection in the mirror. The bathroom was in darkness except for the one light he had on near the mirror, framing his blonde hair with even more brightness. Sungjong pouted, stretching his lower lip until it was sticking out, one finger reaching forward to flick at his reflection. Everyone else had gone to bed some time ago, and Sungjong had been in bed too until he crept out to get a drink.
“You’ll just have to accept it!” Sungjong told his reflection, trying not to sigh as he nodded his head slowly. “That’s all you can do, be mature about it and accept that is how it’s gonna be.” Sungjong breathed out loudly, pouting unconsciously as he felt a pang inside his chest again. Sungjong didn’t notice how the door suddenly opened wider, another figure sneaking into the bathroom behind him.
“Accept what?”
Sungjong let out a shrill high pitched scream, only halted by the sudden hand pressed warmly over his mouth. Sungjong’s eyes wide with terror - since when did they have a ghost in the dorm? Shaking slightly he looked into the mirror, blinking when he saw Howon’s face in the mirror. Sungjong shivered of course the ghost would look like him, but then he gasped, realising it really was Howon. Sungjong began to fidget when he realised how close Howon was, pressed up against his back, one arm wrapped around his middle, the other hand shoved against his mouth.
“Don’t scream, Sungjong-ah, you’ll wake everyone up.” Howon murmured grinning back at Sungjong, “Am I that scary that you had to scream?” Howon sighed and loosened his hold on Sungjong, before stepping back. Nervously Sungjong looked down, feeling embarrassed for screaming and for Howon catching him in the bathroom. Sungjong decided to make a run for it, and he turned trying to walk nonchalantly out of the bathroom, but Howon grabbed a hold of his wrist.
“Hey hey, don’t run you should tell me what’s troubling you,” Howon tugged Sungjong backwards, patting the edge of the bath indicating he should sit down. Sungjong’s heart was beating so fast, the last thing he wanted was to be shut in the bathroom alone with Howon. Sungjong breathed in slowly, as he meekly sad down next to Howon, trying not to look at the gap between their thighs.
“What’s up Sungjong-ah, that you’re talking to yourself in the mirror at two am?” Sungjong looked down, trying to avoid Howon’s gaze. He was suddenly thankful it was still dark in there, because he felt as if his whole face was on fire. What could he say, what was he meant to say, it wasn’t as if he could tell Howon the truth. Sungjong wished he could shrink down and run into a crack into the wall and just disappear. It was embarrassing enough to be caught talking to himself, but that it was Howon made it worse.
“Uh nothing,” Sungjong shook his head firmly, pressing his hands together so tightly that his fingers began to go white. “Don’t worry about it hyung, we should just go to bed we have lots to do tomorrow.” Sungjong got up slowly, but Howon reached for his arm again. Fingers loosely holding his arm, Sungjong sighed wondering why Howon was being so persistent.
“But clearly it is something,” Howon argued back, a frowning marring his attractive face as he glanced across at Sungjong. “I don’t like the idea of you not being able to sleep because of stress, and it’s bad to bottle things up.” Howon tugged Sungjong back to the edge of the bath, shifting his hand so he was holding it lightly.
“I can sleep just fine,” Sungjong batted his eyes sleepily, “Don’t worry hyung, I’ll talk to Sunggyu-hyung tomorrow about it. I’m going to bed now.” Sungjong bit his lip as he looked down at where Howon’s hand fitted around his hand. He hated pulling his hand free but this situation was clearly awkward too. Sungjong thought he only felt awkward around Woohyun, but he realised he did around Howon too.
Sungjong heard Howon follow him out of the bathroom, his gaze following him through the dark house. Sungjong breathed in slowly as he slipped under his covers, trying to ignore the way Howon stepped over him and then lay down so damn close to him. Sungjong scooted towards Sungyeol, trying to put space between himself and Howon. It just felt so damn typical that he had to sleep next to Howon. Sungjong pouted and shut his eyes, wishing his stupid heart was stop pounding so fast, he needed to be calm and sleep.
ΞΘΞ
Howon watched the maknae carefully, biting his lip as he watched him go through the usual breakfast routine as if nothing was wrong. It made him wonder if he had dreamt the whole encounter. Howon got up slowly from the breakfast table and he followed Sungjong into the kitchen. Howon placed his bowl in the sink, smiling as Sungjong turned to face him, who winced slightly when he saw Howon standing there. Howon blinked, opening his mouth to say something when Sungjong scurried off, head down and avoiding his gaze.
Oh. Obviously he didn’t dream that incident, but Howon couldn’t understand why Sungjong was acting that way. Why he was so desperate to escape, it hurt a little. Howon wanted to be someone that Sungjong could confide in, instead Sungjong ran away like he was disgusting. Breathing out heavily, Howon leaned back against the sink, wondering what he should do. If he should just let Sungjong be or try to confront him, or mention it to Sunggyu.
Howon had this horrible feeling that it was going to bug him if he didn’t get to the bottom of it. What did Sungjong think he had to accept? He figured it must be pretty serious if Sungjong was giving himself pep talks at two am! Howon sighed again, shaking his head slightly as Woohyun walked into the kitchen.
“Hey what’s wrong?” Woohyun touched Howon’s shoulder lightly, making him stir from his thoughts. “Is something bothering you,” Woohyun poked Howon’s arm, making the dancer look down suddenly. Howon tried to shrug casually as he looked across at Woohyun.
“Not really, I was just thinking too much.” Howon stuck in his hands into his jean pockets, “Hey did you think Sungjong seemed a bit off this morning?” Howon tried to make his question sound casual, and he sighed softly when Woohyun just shrugged, and didn’t stare at him weirdly.
“Nah he was normal, well he was more affectionate to me,” Woohyun grinned, “He gave me a bigger hug than usual? But other than that he was normal.” Howon’s heart felt chipped, as if something had just scraped a chunk off it and it ached. Morning hug? Why did he never get any of those? Apparently it was just him that Sungjong was giving the cold shoulder to. Howon sighed heavily and then just laughed.
“Yeah I saw that,” He lied, “thought it seemed like a bigger hug that usual. Hey I better go and clean my teeth.” Howon shrugged and walked out of the kitchen. Hearing Woohyun’s words made him analyse Sungjong’s interactions with everyone else. Slowly he flipped through the memories in his head, thinking about how Sungjong acted with the other members and himself. Coming to the conclusion that there was something off between them, Howon bit his lip feeling incredibly sad.
ΞΘΞ
Sungjong sulked slightly as he saw Dongwoo and Howon playing around. Throwing light punches and jokes back and forth, sometimes he wished he could be a part of that. But Sungjong felt like it was something special between them, after all Howon said he liked Dongwoo. Sungjong sighed softly, turning away before he disappeared into the bedroom. He hated how small the apartment was, he couldn’t escape anywhere.
Even in the bedroom the sound of their laughter drifted through. Sungjong sucked in a deep breath and he wished that he had never watched that episode of their show, Days of Infinity. Sungjong wished that he had just stayed out in the back with Sunggyu and Myungsoo, and not been so damn curious. Curiosity killed the cat after all. Of course he had to see that one episode when Howon had gone on and on about liking Dongwoo and wanting to date him.
After that Sungjong couldn’t help but watch the pair, and feeling a stab in his chest every time he noticed them sneaking out somewhere together. Or just whispering and talking softly to each other. Sungjong tried to tell himself it meant nothing, but each day it hurt more and it felt like it was less fan service and more real than anything. Sungjong flopped down on the floor, reaching for his pillow in the cupboard, he still couldn’t accept it but somehow he was going to have to learn how to. That and avoid Howon until he got over his silly, and pathetic crush on the older boy.
It didn’t help that they lived in the same goddamn house, slept next to each other. Sungjong sighed softly wondering if he could ask to swap with Sungyeol. That made Sungjong feel a little better, and he shoved the pillow away determined to go and ask Sungyeol. It hurt to see Howon, and it hurt even more knowing that Howon liked Dongwoo, which was why Sungjong just wanted to get over this and stop hurting.
Biting his lip and feeling happier Sungjong walked out of the bedroom, he ignored the couch until he noticed that Sungyeol was sprawled across Dongwoo and Howon. Sungjong felt a stab in his chest when he saw Howon, laughing at something, still sitting so damn close to Dongwoo. Steeling himself Sungjong breathed in deeply, making his way across to where Sungyeol was draped over the other two.
“Sungyeol-hyung,” Sungjong smiled sweetly down at him, “can I talk to you for a moment?” Sungjong didn’t care that he could feel Dongwoo and Howon watching, he needed to talk to him alone.
“Mmm, we’re all family Sungjonggie,” Sungyeol smiled sleepily up at him, “you can say anything in front of those two idiots.” Sungyeol nodded his head, ignoring the protests that Dongwoo and Howon made at being called idiots. Sungjong just bit his lip and sighed, wondering why everything had to be so hard. Cautiously he looked to the right, wincing when he met Howon’s warm gaze immediately. Quickly Sungjong looked back down to Sungyeol’s face, reaching forward to tug on his wrist and plead with him.
“Psh, idiots,” Dongwoo muttered to himself, “we’re not idiots!” Dongwoo defended himself and Howon. Sungjong tried to ignore them, until a hand grabbed his wrist tugging insistently on it. Sungjong frowned, letting out a faint gasp when he saw it was Howon holding his wrist.
“Hey hey how come Woohyun gets a hug in the morning but I don’t?” Howon raised one eyebrow, “I should get one too.” Howon murmured softly, gripping Sungjong’s wrist tighter. Sungjong could feel his heart pounding faster, why was Howon deliberately teasing him like this. Sungjong tried to pull his wrist free but Howon held on firmly. Nervously he looked over to see Dongwoo wasn’t even paying attention instead he was slowly pushing Sungyeol’s legs off their laps.
“If you say so,” Sungjong blinked his eyes slowly; the whole thing was so awkward. He just wanted Howon to let go, instead of teasing him like this. It hurt, and Sungjong felt his eyes water when he saw Howon grin, he was just playing with him. “Howon-hyung please let go,” Sungjong bit his lip, he didn’t care that he sounded curt or angry, he just wanted to escape. Sungjong breathed out slowly, when Howon finally let go, and he just ran off not wanting to face any of them.
ΞΘΞ
“What was that about?” Dongwoo blinked across at Howon, “Did you hurt Sungjong? Why did he look like he was going to cry?” Dongwoo scratched his head frowning and Howon shook his head slowly, he had no idea. Howon breathed out slowly, it was starting to worry him how Sungjong was acting. Especially because Howon felt like Sungjong hadn’t talked about it to anyone, and the thought of him bottling stuff up worried him. Howon hated to see Sungjong stressed.
“I’m gonna find him,” Howon frowned, “I hope I didn’t hurt him.” Howon slid of the couch, making his way over to where Sungjong had escaped out the front door. As expected he was in the nearby practice room, just sitting solemnly in the middle of the floor. Mirrors all around him, except Sungjong was looking down at the floor. Howon silently stepped onto the floor, making his way across to where Sungjong was seated.
Howon sighed softly, biting his lip as he watched Sungjong lift his head, eyes opening wide as he saw Howon sitting there. There was a soft hiss and then Sungjong looked down again, shifting to face away from Howon. It hurt to see Sungjong act that way, it was driving Howon mad. He had to get to the bottom of this, he couldn’t stand to see Sungjong hurting. Part of him just wanted to hug him, but Howon thought that might make things worse.
“Sungjong-ah, did I hurt you somehow?” Howon just mumbled his thoughts aloud, his eyes widening when he saw how Sungjong froze for a split second, and he looked trapped. Howon felt sick when Sungjong shook his head, he was lying. Howon frowned and then he gently reached for Sungjong, pulling him into his arms, he could feel the younger male trembling against him. It made Howon want to hold him tighter, instead he just held him lightly.
“I never meant to hurt you,” Howon whispered, “I didn’t even know I did. I’m so sorry.”
“It's okay hyung, it wasn’t like you did it on purpose,” Sungjong tugged free from Howon’s embrace, “you shouldn’t do that, hyung might get jealous.” Sungjong avoided Howon’s gaze, his heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest any second now. Howon had held him, Sungjong shivered it would’ve been so easy to just cling to him and kiss him.
“Hyung? Which hyung? Sungyeol?” Howon snapped, feeling irritable that he couldn’t even hug Sungjong now. Was it so wrong for him to want to be able to hug Sungjong? Howon frowned when he saw Sungjong shake his head looking surprised.
“Eh? No Dongwoo-hyung.” Sungjong replied looking at Howon weirdly. Howon felt angry, it felt like everyone else was allowed to hug Sungjong, but he wasn’t? Howon sighed softly, feeling the green eyed monster rearing its ugly head. “Isn’t that who you’re dating? Or is it Sungyeol-hyung?” Sungjong mumbled softly, under his breath and Howon’s eyes widened as he caught the words.
“What!” Howon almost shouted, “Dongwoo-hyung and I? No way!” Howon blinked his eyes, suddenly wanting to laugh at the fact that Sungjong thought he was dating Dongwoo. But then he frowned realising that Sungjong was just changing the subject.
“Don’t worry about him,” Howon frowned, “I want to know what’s troubling you.” Seriously Howon turned to face Sungjong, leaning forward to study the younger male’s face. Howon hated the fact that he almost hadn’t noticed that Sungjong was changing the subject. Never realising that it was actually what was troubling Sungjong.
“Are you being bullied at school?” Howon bit his lip, feeling relieved when Sungjong shook his head immediately.
“So you’re not dating anyone?” Sungjong butted in, blinking his eyes slowly, “Not Dongwoo-hyung or Sungyeol-hyung?” If it was anyone else Howon would’ve been annoyed, but Sungjong looked cute, his cheeks lightly flushed as he asked. Howon smiled, wondering how it was possible for someone to be so adorable.
“No, why would I be dating anyone?” Howon frowned and shook his head, “I’m still single.” Sungjong’s mouth dropped open, Howon found his eyes drawn to the perfect lips and the ‘o’ they formed. Howon blinked, too busy staring at Sungjong to even wonder why the younger male kept asking about his dating life.
“Oh. But you like Dongwoo-hyung right, that’s what you said!” Sungjong suddenly exclaimed, blinking expectantly like he’d just discovered the answer to the world’s problems. Howon frowned and shook his head, wondering why Sungjong was fixated on Dongwoo. Howon paused suddenly realising what Sungjong had said.
“Huh? When did I say I liked Dongwoo-hyung?” Howon shook his head with a frown, “Sungjong-ah, I want to talk about you not me. I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong, let me help you.” Howon bit his lip, sighing softly when Sungjong immediately turned away from him.
“You said it on our show hyung, did you forget?” Sungjong sighed, standing up slowly and facing away from Howon, so he had a perfect view of Sungjong’s ass. “I have to go, homework to do.” Sungjong shrugged and then walked away quickly. Howon sighed and stood up following Sungjong, but leaving a gap between them.
“Sungjong-ah, I was joking about liking Dongwoo-hyung. I didn’t mean it seriously, do you honestly think I’d reveal who I really liked on a tv show?” Howon frowned, shaking his head as Sungjong turned back to look at him, seeing Howon staring at him caused Sungjong to jump and then scurry away. Howon smiled, Sungjong was so adorable, but then Howon frowned realising that he still didn’t know what was troubling Sungjong. Howon felt like a failure and he sighed glumly as he made his way back to their dorm.
ΞΘΞ
“What’s up my friend?” Woohyun slapped Howon on the back lightly, “You look like you’ve just been told you’re gonna die in two hours or something.” Woohyun frowned as he looked down at Howon slumped across the couch, one hand resting dramatically across his face.
“Nothing I just feel bad.” Howon sighed, “hm, if you over heard someone talking to themselves and sounding upset. Would you just walk away or try to be there for them?” Howon sat up and opened one eye. Woohyun shrugged and then moved to sit next to Howon.
“I think it depends who it was. If it was someone you were close to, I’d try to be there for them if they wanted that. But if it wasn’t someone close I’d just walk away like I didn’t hear anything. Maybe they didn’t want anyone to overhear.” Woohyun shrugged, “So what is this really about?” Woohyun turned to look across at Howon, frowning slightly.
“Ah I guess he just doesn’t want to talk to me.” Howon sighed, rubbing his hand across his forehead, “But I don’t want to go and tell Sunggyu-hyung, I don’t want to betray his confidence. Even though it was only chance I overheard. I just hate… seeing him troubled. I just want to help, but he clams up when I ask.” Howon pouted, chewing on his lip.
“Oh is this about Sungjong?” Woohyun frowned, “Since you were talking about him earlier?” Howon froze and then shook his head, heart beating rapidly and he wondered if he was that obvious. Woohyun frowned slightly, and then grinned shaking his head at Howon.
“Um no, why would it be about Sungjong,” Howon tried to deny it, shaking his head firmly but the way Woohyun rolled his eyes told him that Woohyun didn’t buy it. “Fine, yes it’s about Sungjong.” Howon breathed out heavily, shutting his eyes for a second as he sat there wondering what Woohyun would say.
“Sungjong isn’t the type to bottle things up, maybe it’s related to you which is why he clams up?” Woohyun suggested with a soft smile, “Maybe you should let someone else talk to him. I mean does it really matter who it is as long as Sungjonggie is happy? I can do it if you want, not that I’m volunteering.” Woohyun shrugged, and Howon sighed again, wondering if Woohyun was right.
ΞΘΞ
After finding out that Howon didn’t like Dongwoo, Sungjong wasn’t sure how to feel. But slowly he began to feel happy, he’d spent all this time thinking that Howon liked and was dating Dongwoo. But he wasn’t, and while Sungjong figured Howon didn’t like him at least he knew the older boy wasn’t seeing anyone. Sungjong still avoided Howon a little bit, considering he didn’t want to like the older boy even more but for the most part he tried to be normal around him.
Sometimes it felt painful when Sungjong saw Howon playing with the others, he wished sometimes that Howon was more affectionate towards him. The memory of that night when Howon had overheard him in the bathroom kept replaying in his mind, the way Howon had been pressed up close to him. Sungjong sighed and chewed on his lip, wishing there were more moments like that.
“Hey,” A voice called out, and Sungjong looked over to see Dongwoo climbing onto the couch next to him. Instead of just walking around the front to sit, Dongwoo clambered over the back of it sliding down to sit next to Sungjong. “Hey you look unhappy, let hyung cheer you up!” Dongwoo smiled brightly, leaning in and wrapping his arms around Sungjong tightly. Sungjong giggled softly, wrapping his arms around Dongwoo, and just hugging him.
“Hey don’t I get a hug too?” Howon suddenly piped up, and before Sungjong or Dongwoo could protest, Howon leaned in on the other side of Sungjong. Sungjong stiffened slightly as he felt Howon’s breath slide across his cheek, warm and slightly arousing. Sungjong fidgeted suddenly feeling uncomfortable with how close Howon was as the older boy’s arms rested firmly around his waist.
“You guys are suffocating me,” Sungjong murmured wriggling in between the two boys. He let out a soft sigh when they both pulled back. Sungjong stared down at the floor, wishing he didn’t like Howon so much it wasn’t fair. “Thanks I feel better now.” Sungjong smiled across at them both, getting up slowly and making his way into the bedroom. Before he walked out of the room Howon touched his arm lightly, and Sungjong turned, blinking his eyes rapidly as he stared at the other boy. Sungjong opened his mouth to speak but Howon just hugged him again, pulling him into his arms gently and just holding him. After a few seconds he pulled back, smiling gently across at Sungjong.
“Hyung what was that for,” Sungjong frowned slightly, wondering if Howon had found out about his crush and was making fun of him. “You just hugged me.” Sungjong waved one hand in the air, blinking his eyes steadily as he gazed across at Howon who just shrugged.
“Do I need a reason to hug my favourite maknae?” Howon beamed brightly across at Sungjong, “Can’t I just hug you any time I feel like you need a hug, or I need one?” Howon pouted slightly, looking so cute and handsome that Sungjong just felt his heart melting. Immediately he shook his head, smiling shyly back at Howon, feeling his heart beating so oddly in his chest. Why did even the thought of Howon hugging him make him so happy?
ΞΘΞ
Sungjong hummed softly as he slipped into the bathroom to go to the toilet. The last few days had been pure bliss, Howon kept hugging him. And it made Sungjong feel as if he was no longer walking but floating, the way Howon would smile across at him and then just embrace him. It was a little weird how affectionate Howon had become, but Sungjong loved it. Even if Sungjong couldn’t quite understand why it was happening all the time, or what the hugs meant but for the most part he was just going to enjoy the hugs.
Sungjong turned the bathroom light on and walked over towards the toilet when a faint noise made him look back in surprise. Sungjong blinked as he saw Howon sleepily walk into the bathroom, yawning as he glanced around the room slowly. Sungjong couldn’t stop himself from grinning madly when he saw how sleepy Howon looked, it was incredibly cute. Sungjong smiled wider as he saw Howon blink when he spotted Sungjong standing over near the toilet. Not the most romantic place to meet, but Sungjong still felt happy.
“Hey,” Howon murmured sleepily, “want a hug?” He grinned walking over to tug Sungjong into his arms. Sungjong squeezed his eyes shut, letting the older boy hug him, even if he couldn’t help but wonder why he was doing this. Why was Howon suddenly hugging him nonstop, it didn’t make sense and it was weird? Sungjong pushed Howon back gently shifting to sit on the edge of the bath, watching the older boy.
“Hyung, why are you suddenly always hugging me?” Sungjong chewed on his lower lip, following Howon with his eyes as he came to sit next to him. “Not that I’m complaining I’m just surprised that’s all. You never used to hug me, and now you are all the time.” Howon yawned again, hand over his mouth as he turned towards Sungjong.
“Because when we didn’t talk, and I was worrying about you I realised how important you are to me.” Howon shrugged casually, not noticing the way Sungjong’s jaw opened and he just stared across at him. “I don’t know why you’re suddenly fine with me, but I’m happy. So I keep hugging you, so I hope you realise I care about you a lot.” Howon smiled sweetly across at Sungjong, fingers suddenly grasping Sungjong’s hand.
“Oh I’m important to you? How important?” Sungjong looked across at Howon before glancing down at where their hands intersected. “Maybe you should show me, hyung. Just so you know I don’t misunderstand!” Sungjong smiled across at Howon, the warmth of his hand was making him feel giddy. Sungjong hoped that he wasn’t completely misunderstanding this whole situation, his heart was going so fast he thought he might start floating.
“Hmm, show you?” Howon chewed on his lip, looking startled and Sungjong felt so anxious as he waited for Howon to reply or do something. The seconds dragged by and Sungjong felt sick, realising he had hoped too much. The fact that Howon was holding his hand, and telling Sungjong that he was important to him, Sungjong realised he probably meant it in just a brotherly way. Sungjong went to tug his hand back, but Howon’s grip tightened around his hand.
“I can show you,” Howon smirked across at him softly. Sungjong felt as if the air was being sucked from his lungs as Howon leaned in close, his breath was soft against Sungjong’s cheek. Sungjong felt like he couldn’t breathe oxygen, but it felt as if he was breathing in some else more pure that made him feel high and happy. Sungjong shivered slightly, excitement pooling as Howon’s breath slid across his skin and then his lips nudged Sungjong’s. Sungjong shut his eyes expectantly, pressing forward to let Howon kiss him harder, but the older boy pulled back, his thumb brushing against his lip softly.
Sungjong blinked feeling slightly disappointed, he expected more. He wanted more from Howon, a soft sigh escaped from his lips. Sungjong forgot about the fact that Howon was still watching him, his lower lip jutting out in a slight pout until Howon’s thumb stroked across his lip and then cheek. Sungjong blinked up to look at Howon, blinking his eyes when he saw how serious his hyung looked.
“I’m sorry, Sungjonggie, I guess you don’t feel the same way?” Howon breathed out slowly, “Somehow I just hoped you did.” Sungjong frowned and then just shook his head, this wasn’t right. It just wasn’t right at all. Sungjong frowned and tilted his head sideways, leaning in close to Howon.
“Hyung, you’re misunderstanding me now.” Sungjong pouted, “I guess I’ll just have to show you too.” Sungjong smiled shyly, wondering if he was getting in too deep. Breathing in slowly he leaned in close and pressed his lips to Howon’s, slowly tugging Howon’s lower lip in between his, sucking on it lightly. Sungjong’s eyes slid shut, and he felt so happy as Howon’s hands tugged through his blond locks, pulling him in closer.
“Oh,” Howon grinned when they finally separated, “Oh was that why you were so interested in whom I was dating? Huh?” Sungjong felt his cheeks cheat up, and he shook his head shyly, still breathing heavily as Howon leaned across to kiss his cheek.
“Yes hyung,” Sungjong pouted, “Don’t laugh at me,” Sungjong sulked slightly, feeling irritated at the way Howon was laughing at him, shaking his head and laughing. Sungjong playfully hit Howon, but the older boy grasped his hand, holding it tightly in his.
“So what did you have to accept?” Howon couldn’t help but ask, he had been dying to know for weeks. Even if he had a vague idea he still wanted to hear what Sungjong had to say. The exact reason, and the way Sungjong’s face began to go red made Howon glad he asked. “Was it something related to me?” Howon’s grin grew wider as Sungjong squirmed slightly, until Howon put his arms around his waist pulling him close.
“You and Dongwoo-hyung,” Sungjong mumbled softly, “Dating.” Sungjong pouted, sulky slightly so Howon pulled him in closer, arms tightening around him. Sungjong couldn’t help but smile after that, he could get used to this. Howon smelt good and Sungjong couldn’t help but lean in closer, snuggling against his hyung sleepily. Sungjong felt like he was dreaming, surely this couldn’t be real.
“Oh, silly Sungjonggie,” Howon murmured sleepily, “I always liked you. But I could hardly say that on camera. I guess we’re both idiots huh?” Howon grinned, patting Sungjong’s head lightly.
“But we should go back to bed,” Howon yawned softly, “It’s late and we have work tomorrow, well and you have school.” Sungjong groaned softly, burying his head against Howon’s chest. He wanted to stay there in the bathroom and not let this dream end.
“Okay hyung, so what does this mean?” Sungjong finally whispered when Howon grabbed his hand dragging him out of the bathroom, “for us I mean?” He whispered softly as Howon stopped dead, turning to look at him. Sungjong breathed in slowly, wondering why Howon was still so serious but then he grinned brightly across at Sungjong.
“Uh, we’re dating right?” Howon grinned, “I mean right? You want that don’t you?” Howon asked, realising he couldn’t just assume but the way Sungjong nodded his head eagerly made him laugh softly. Stupid question but it felt good all the same just to confirm it. They held hands tightly and grinned as they made their way back to bed, settling in down next to each other. Sungjong had a feeling he would sleep better than ever before, he was so happy.
ΞΘΞ
^^;;;; fml XD
Author: argh (@ oneuldo)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,147
Pairing: Howon/Sungjong
Summary: Sungjong has a chat to himself in the middle of the night, but Hoya walks in and overhears him. Things get awkward for both of them after that/
Warnings: unbeta-ed ^^; dfljdslk fail summary?
Notes: So this started as a drabble - the pairing (and prompt "accept") from a prompt generator! :/ It ended up 5k oops instead of a drabble!! Hopefully it's not too long :c and draggy. Posting this for my bb~ Kiti! ♥
ΞΘΞ
Sungjong sighed softly as he eyed his reflection in the mirror. The bathroom was in darkness except for the one light he had on near the mirror, framing his blonde hair with even more brightness. Sungjong pouted, stretching his lower lip until it was sticking out, one finger reaching forward to flick at his reflection. Everyone else had gone to bed some time ago, and Sungjong had been in bed too until he crept out to get a drink.
“You’ll just have to accept it!” Sungjong told his reflection, trying not to sigh as he nodded his head slowly. “That’s all you can do, be mature about it and accept that is how it’s gonna be.” Sungjong breathed out loudly, pouting unconsciously as he felt a pang inside his chest again. Sungjong didn’t notice how the door suddenly opened wider, another figure sneaking into the bathroom behind him.
“Accept what?”
Sungjong let out a shrill high pitched scream, only halted by the sudden hand pressed warmly over his mouth. Sungjong’s eyes wide with terror - since when did they have a ghost in the dorm? Shaking slightly he looked into the mirror, blinking when he saw Howon’s face in the mirror. Sungjong shivered of course the ghost would look like him, but then he gasped, realising it really was Howon. Sungjong began to fidget when he realised how close Howon was, pressed up against his back, one arm wrapped around his middle, the other hand shoved against his mouth.
“Don’t scream, Sungjong-ah, you’ll wake everyone up.” Howon murmured grinning back at Sungjong, “Am I that scary that you had to scream?” Howon sighed and loosened his hold on Sungjong, before stepping back. Nervously Sungjong looked down, feeling embarrassed for screaming and for Howon catching him in the bathroom. Sungjong decided to make a run for it, and he turned trying to walk nonchalantly out of the bathroom, but Howon grabbed a hold of his wrist.
“Hey hey, don’t run you should tell me what’s troubling you,” Howon tugged Sungjong backwards, patting the edge of the bath indicating he should sit down. Sungjong’s heart was beating so fast, the last thing he wanted was to be shut in the bathroom alone with Howon. Sungjong breathed in slowly, as he meekly sad down next to Howon, trying not to look at the gap between their thighs.
“What’s up Sungjong-ah, that you’re talking to yourself in the mirror at two am?” Sungjong looked down, trying to avoid Howon’s gaze. He was suddenly thankful it was still dark in there, because he felt as if his whole face was on fire. What could he say, what was he meant to say, it wasn’t as if he could tell Howon the truth. Sungjong wished he could shrink down and run into a crack into the wall and just disappear. It was embarrassing enough to be caught talking to himself, but that it was Howon made it worse.
“Uh nothing,” Sungjong shook his head firmly, pressing his hands together so tightly that his fingers began to go white. “Don’t worry about it hyung, we should just go to bed we have lots to do tomorrow.” Sungjong got up slowly, but Howon reached for his arm again. Fingers loosely holding his arm, Sungjong sighed wondering why Howon was being so persistent.
“But clearly it is something,” Howon argued back, a frowning marring his attractive face as he glanced across at Sungjong. “I don’t like the idea of you not being able to sleep because of stress, and it’s bad to bottle things up.” Howon tugged Sungjong back to the edge of the bath, shifting his hand so he was holding it lightly.
“I can sleep just fine,” Sungjong batted his eyes sleepily, “Don’t worry hyung, I’ll talk to Sunggyu-hyung tomorrow about it. I’m going to bed now.” Sungjong bit his lip as he looked down at where Howon’s hand fitted around his hand. He hated pulling his hand free but this situation was clearly awkward too. Sungjong thought he only felt awkward around Woohyun, but he realised he did around Howon too.
Sungjong heard Howon follow him out of the bathroom, his gaze following him through the dark house. Sungjong breathed in slowly as he slipped under his covers, trying to ignore the way Howon stepped over him and then lay down so damn close to him. Sungjong scooted towards Sungyeol, trying to put space between himself and Howon. It just felt so damn typical that he had to sleep next to Howon. Sungjong pouted and shut his eyes, wishing his stupid heart was stop pounding so fast, he needed to be calm and sleep.
ΞΘΞ
Howon watched the maknae carefully, biting his lip as he watched him go through the usual breakfast routine as if nothing was wrong. It made him wonder if he had dreamt the whole encounter. Howon got up slowly from the breakfast table and he followed Sungjong into the kitchen. Howon placed his bowl in the sink, smiling as Sungjong turned to face him, who winced slightly when he saw Howon standing there. Howon blinked, opening his mouth to say something when Sungjong scurried off, head down and avoiding his gaze.
Oh. Obviously he didn’t dream that incident, but Howon couldn’t understand why Sungjong was acting that way. Why he was so desperate to escape, it hurt a little. Howon wanted to be someone that Sungjong could confide in, instead Sungjong ran away like he was disgusting. Breathing out heavily, Howon leaned back against the sink, wondering what he should do. If he should just let Sungjong be or try to confront him, or mention it to Sunggyu.
Howon had this horrible feeling that it was going to bug him if he didn’t get to the bottom of it. What did Sungjong think he had to accept? He figured it must be pretty serious if Sungjong was giving himself pep talks at two am! Howon sighed again, shaking his head slightly as Woohyun walked into the kitchen.
“Hey what’s wrong?” Woohyun touched Howon’s shoulder lightly, making him stir from his thoughts. “Is something bothering you,” Woohyun poked Howon’s arm, making the dancer look down suddenly. Howon tried to shrug casually as he looked across at Woohyun.
“Not really, I was just thinking too much.” Howon stuck in his hands into his jean pockets, “Hey did you think Sungjong seemed a bit off this morning?” Howon tried to make his question sound casual, and he sighed softly when Woohyun just shrugged, and didn’t stare at him weirdly.
“Nah he was normal, well he was more affectionate to me,” Woohyun grinned, “He gave me a bigger hug than usual? But other than that he was normal.” Howon’s heart felt chipped, as if something had just scraped a chunk off it and it ached. Morning hug? Why did he never get any of those? Apparently it was just him that Sungjong was giving the cold shoulder to. Howon sighed heavily and then just laughed.
“Yeah I saw that,” He lied, “thought it seemed like a bigger hug that usual. Hey I better go and clean my teeth.” Howon shrugged and walked out of the kitchen. Hearing Woohyun’s words made him analyse Sungjong’s interactions with everyone else. Slowly he flipped through the memories in his head, thinking about how Sungjong acted with the other members and himself. Coming to the conclusion that there was something off between them, Howon bit his lip feeling incredibly sad.
ΞΘΞ
Sungjong sulked slightly as he saw Dongwoo and Howon playing around. Throwing light punches and jokes back and forth, sometimes he wished he could be a part of that. But Sungjong felt like it was something special between them, after all Howon said he liked Dongwoo. Sungjong sighed softly, turning away before he disappeared into the bedroom. He hated how small the apartment was, he couldn’t escape anywhere.
Even in the bedroom the sound of their laughter drifted through. Sungjong sucked in a deep breath and he wished that he had never watched that episode of their show, Days of Infinity. Sungjong wished that he had just stayed out in the back with Sunggyu and Myungsoo, and not been so damn curious. Curiosity killed the cat after all. Of course he had to see that one episode when Howon had gone on and on about liking Dongwoo and wanting to date him.
After that Sungjong couldn’t help but watch the pair, and feeling a stab in his chest every time he noticed them sneaking out somewhere together. Or just whispering and talking softly to each other. Sungjong tried to tell himself it meant nothing, but each day it hurt more and it felt like it was less fan service and more real than anything. Sungjong flopped down on the floor, reaching for his pillow in the cupboard, he still couldn’t accept it but somehow he was going to have to learn how to. That and avoid Howon until he got over his silly, and pathetic crush on the older boy.
It didn’t help that they lived in the same goddamn house, slept next to each other. Sungjong sighed softly wondering if he could ask to swap with Sungyeol. That made Sungjong feel a little better, and he shoved the pillow away determined to go and ask Sungyeol. It hurt to see Howon, and it hurt even more knowing that Howon liked Dongwoo, which was why Sungjong just wanted to get over this and stop hurting.
Biting his lip and feeling happier Sungjong walked out of the bedroom, he ignored the couch until he noticed that Sungyeol was sprawled across Dongwoo and Howon. Sungjong felt a stab in his chest when he saw Howon, laughing at something, still sitting so damn close to Dongwoo. Steeling himself Sungjong breathed in deeply, making his way across to where Sungyeol was draped over the other two.
“Sungyeol-hyung,” Sungjong smiled sweetly down at him, “can I talk to you for a moment?” Sungjong didn’t care that he could feel Dongwoo and Howon watching, he needed to talk to him alone.
“Mmm, we’re all family Sungjonggie,” Sungyeol smiled sleepily up at him, “you can say anything in front of those two idiots.” Sungyeol nodded his head, ignoring the protests that Dongwoo and Howon made at being called idiots. Sungjong just bit his lip and sighed, wondering why everything had to be so hard. Cautiously he looked to the right, wincing when he met Howon’s warm gaze immediately. Quickly Sungjong looked back down to Sungyeol’s face, reaching forward to tug on his wrist and plead with him.
“Psh, idiots,” Dongwoo muttered to himself, “we’re not idiots!” Dongwoo defended himself and Howon. Sungjong tried to ignore them, until a hand grabbed his wrist tugging insistently on it. Sungjong frowned, letting out a faint gasp when he saw it was Howon holding his wrist.
“Hey hey how come Woohyun gets a hug in the morning but I don’t?” Howon raised one eyebrow, “I should get one too.” Howon murmured softly, gripping Sungjong’s wrist tighter. Sungjong could feel his heart pounding faster, why was Howon deliberately teasing him like this. Sungjong tried to pull his wrist free but Howon held on firmly. Nervously he looked over to see Dongwoo wasn’t even paying attention instead he was slowly pushing Sungyeol’s legs off their laps.
“If you say so,” Sungjong blinked his eyes slowly; the whole thing was so awkward. He just wanted Howon to let go, instead of teasing him like this. It hurt, and Sungjong felt his eyes water when he saw Howon grin, he was just playing with him. “Howon-hyung please let go,” Sungjong bit his lip, he didn’t care that he sounded curt or angry, he just wanted to escape. Sungjong breathed out slowly, when Howon finally let go, and he just ran off not wanting to face any of them.
ΞΘΞ
“What was that about?” Dongwoo blinked across at Howon, “Did you hurt Sungjong? Why did he look like he was going to cry?” Dongwoo scratched his head frowning and Howon shook his head slowly, he had no idea. Howon breathed out slowly, it was starting to worry him how Sungjong was acting. Especially because Howon felt like Sungjong hadn’t talked about it to anyone, and the thought of him bottling stuff up worried him. Howon hated to see Sungjong stressed.
“I’m gonna find him,” Howon frowned, “I hope I didn’t hurt him.” Howon slid of the couch, making his way over to where Sungjong had escaped out the front door. As expected he was in the nearby practice room, just sitting solemnly in the middle of the floor. Mirrors all around him, except Sungjong was looking down at the floor. Howon silently stepped onto the floor, making his way across to where Sungjong was seated.
Howon sighed softly, biting his lip as he watched Sungjong lift his head, eyes opening wide as he saw Howon sitting there. There was a soft hiss and then Sungjong looked down again, shifting to face away from Howon. It hurt to see Sungjong act that way, it was driving Howon mad. He had to get to the bottom of this, he couldn’t stand to see Sungjong hurting. Part of him just wanted to hug him, but Howon thought that might make things worse.
“Sungjong-ah, did I hurt you somehow?” Howon just mumbled his thoughts aloud, his eyes widening when he saw how Sungjong froze for a split second, and he looked trapped. Howon felt sick when Sungjong shook his head, he was lying. Howon frowned and then he gently reached for Sungjong, pulling him into his arms, he could feel the younger male trembling against him. It made Howon want to hold him tighter, instead he just held him lightly.
“I never meant to hurt you,” Howon whispered, “I didn’t even know I did. I’m so sorry.”
“It's okay hyung, it wasn’t like you did it on purpose,” Sungjong tugged free from Howon’s embrace, “you shouldn’t do that, hyung might get jealous.” Sungjong avoided Howon’s gaze, his heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest any second now. Howon had held him, Sungjong shivered it would’ve been so easy to just cling to him and kiss him.
“Hyung? Which hyung? Sungyeol?” Howon snapped, feeling irritable that he couldn’t even hug Sungjong now. Was it so wrong for him to want to be able to hug Sungjong? Howon frowned when he saw Sungjong shake his head looking surprised.
“Eh? No Dongwoo-hyung.” Sungjong replied looking at Howon weirdly. Howon felt angry, it felt like everyone else was allowed to hug Sungjong, but he wasn’t? Howon sighed softly, feeling the green eyed monster rearing its ugly head. “Isn’t that who you’re dating? Or is it Sungyeol-hyung?” Sungjong mumbled softly, under his breath and Howon’s eyes widened as he caught the words.
“What!” Howon almost shouted, “Dongwoo-hyung and I? No way!” Howon blinked his eyes, suddenly wanting to laugh at the fact that Sungjong thought he was dating Dongwoo. But then he frowned realising that Sungjong was just changing the subject.
“Don’t worry about him,” Howon frowned, “I want to know what’s troubling you.” Seriously Howon turned to face Sungjong, leaning forward to study the younger male’s face. Howon hated the fact that he almost hadn’t noticed that Sungjong was changing the subject. Never realising that it was actually what was troubling Sungjong.
“Are you being bullied at school?” Howon bit his lip, feeling relieved when Sungjong shook his head immediately.
“So you’re not dating anyone?” Sungjong butted in, blinking his eyes slowly, “Not Dongwoo-hyung or Sungyeol-hyung?” If it was anyone else Howon would’ve been annoyed, but Sungjong looked cute, his cheeks lightly flushed as he asked. Howon smiled, wondering how it was possible for someone to be so adorable.
“No, why would I be dating anyone?” Howon frowned and shook his head, “I’m still single.” Sungjong’s mouth dropped open, Howon found his eyes drawn to the perfect lips and the ‘o’ they formed. Howon blinked, too busy staring at Sungjong to even wonder why the younger male kept asking about his dating life.
“Oh. But you like Dongwoo-hyung right, that’s what you said!” Sungjong suddenly exclaimed, blinking expectantly like he’d just discovered the answer to the world’s problems. Howon frowned and shook his head, wondering why Sungjong was fixated on Dongwoo. Howon paused suddenly realising what Sungjong had said.
“Huh? When did I say I liked Dongwoo-hyung?” Howon shook his head with a frown, “Sungjong-ah, I want to talk about you not me. I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong, let me help you.” Howon bit his lip, sighing softly when Sungjong immediately turned away from him.
“You said it on our show hyung, did you forget?” Sungjong sighed, standing up slowly and facing away from Howon, so he had a perfect view of Sungjong’s ass. “I have to go, homework to do.” Sungjong shrugged and then walked away quickly. Howon sighed and stood up following Sungjong, but leaving a gap between them.
“Sungjong-ah, I was joking about liking Dongwoo-hyung. I didn’t mean it seriously, do you honestly think I’d reveal who I really liked on a tv show?” Howon frowned, shaking his head as Sungjong turned back to look at him, seeing Howon staring at him caused Sungjong to jump and then scurry away. Howon smiled, Sungjong was so adorable, but then Howon frowned realising that he still didn’t know what was troubling Sungjong. Howon felt like a failure and he sighed glumly as he made his way back to their dorm.
ΞΘΞ
“What’s up my friend?” Woohyun slapped Howon on the back lightly, “You look like you’ve just been told you’re gonna die in two hours or something.” Woohyun frowned as he looked down at Howon slumped across the couch, one hand resting dramatically across his face.
“Nothing I just feel bad.” Howon sighed, “hm, if you over heard someone talking to themselves and sounding upset. Would you just walk away or try to be there for them?” Howon sat up and opened one eye. Woohyun shrugged and then moved to sit next to Howon.
“I think it depends who it was. If it was someone you were close to, I’d try to be there for them if they wanted that. But if it wasn’t someone close I’d just walk away like I didn’t hear anything. Maybe they didn’t want anyone to overhear.” Woohyun shrugged, “So what is this really about?” Woohyun turned to look across at Howon, frowning slightly.
“Ah I guess he just doesn’t want to talk to me.” Howon sighed, rubbing his hand across his forehead, “But I don’t want to go and tell Sunggyu-hyung, I don’t want to betray his confidence. Even though it was only chance I overheard. I just hate… seeing him troubled. I just want to help, but he clams up when I ask.” Howon pouted, chewing on his lip.
“Oh is this about Sungjong?” Woohyun frowned, “Since you were talking about him earlier?” Howon froze and then shook his head, heart beating rapidly and he wondered if he was that obvious. Woohyun frowned slightly, and then grinned shaking his head at Howon.
“Um no, why would it be about Sungjong,” Howon tried to deny it, shaking his head firmly but the way Woohyun rolled his eyes told him that Woohyun didn’t buy it. “Fine, yes it’s about Sungjong.” Howon breathed out heavily, shutting his eyes for a second as he sat there wondering what Woohyun would say.
“Sungjong isn’t the type to bottle things up, maybe it’s related to you which is why he clams up?” Woohyun suggested with a soft smile, “Maybe you should let someone else talk to him. I mean does it really matter who it is as long as Sungjonggie is happy? I can do it if you want, not that I’m volunteering.” Woohyun shrugged, and Howon sighed again, wondering if Woohyun was right.
ΞΘΞ
After finding out that Howon didn’t like Dongwoo, Sungjong wasn’t sure how to feel. But slowly he began to feel happy, he’d spent all this time thinking that Howon liked and was dating Dongwoo. But he wasn’t, and while Sungjong figured Howon didn’t like him at least he knew the older boy wasn’t seeing anyone. Sungjong still avoided Howon a little bit, considering he didn’t want to like the older boy even more but for the most part he tried to be normal around him.
Sometimes it felt painful when Sungjong saw Howon playing with the others, he wished sometimes that Howon was more affectionate towards him. The memory of that night when Howon had overheard him in the bathroom kept replaying in his mind, the way Howon had been pressed up close to him. Sungjong sighed and chewed on his lip, wishing there were more moments like that.
“Hey,” A voice called out, and Sungjong looked over to see Dongwoo climbing onto the couch next to him. Instead of just walking around the front to sit, Dongwoo clambered over the back of it sliding down to sit next to Sungjong. “Hey you look unhappy, let hyung cheer you up!” Dongwoo smiled brightly, leaning in and wrapping his arms around Sungjong tightly. Sungjong giggled softly, wrapping his arms around Dongwoo, and just hugging him.
“Hey don’t I get a hug too?” Howon suddenly piped up, and before Sungjong or Dongwoo could protest, Howon leaned in on the other side of Sungjong. Sungjong stiffened slightly as he felt Howon’s breath slide across his cheek, warm and slightly arousing. Sungjong fidgeted suddenly feeling uncomfortable with how close Howon was as the older boy’s arms rested firmly around his waist.
“You guys are suffocating me,” Sungjong murmured wriggling in between the two boys. He let out a soft sigh when they both pulled back. Sungjong stared down at the floor, wishing he didn’t like Howon so much it wasn’t fair. “Thanks I feel better now.” Sungjong smiled across at them both, getting up slowly and making his way into the bedroom. Before he walked out of the room Howon touched his arm lightly, and Sungjong turned, blinking his eyes rapidly as he stared at the other boy. Sungjong opened his mouth to speak but Howon just hugged him again, pulling him into his arms gently and just holding him. After a few seconds he pulled back, smiling gently across at Sungjong.
“Hyung what was that for,” Sungjong frowned slightly, wondering if Howon had found out about his crush and was making fun of him. “You just hugged me.” Sungjong waved one hand in the air, blinking his eyes steadily as he gazed across at Howon who just shrugged.
“Do I need a reason to hug my favourite maknae?” Howon beamed brightly across at Sungjong, “Can’t I just hug you any time I feel like you need a hug, or I need one?” Howon pouted slightly, looking so cute and handsome that Sungjong just felt his heart melting. Immediately he shook his head, smiling shyly back at Howon, feeling his heart beating so oddly in his chest. Why did even the thought of Howon hugging him make him so happy?
ΞΘΞ
Sungjong hummed softly as he slipped into the bathroom to go to the toilet. The last few days had been pure bliss, Howon kept hugging him. And it made Sungjong feel as if he was no longer walking but floating, the way Howon would smile across at him and then just embrace him. It was a little weird how affectionate Howon had become, but Sungjong loved it. Even if Sungjong couldn’t quite understand why it was happening all the time, or what the hugs meant but for the most part he was just going to enjoy the hugs.
Sungjong turned the bathroom light on and walked over towards the toilet when a faint noise made him look back in surprise. Sungjong blinked as he saw Howon sleepily walk into the bathroom, yawning as he glanced around the room slowly. Sungjong couldn’t stop himself from grinning madly when he saw how sleepy Howon looked, it was incredibly cute. Sungjong smiled wider as he saw Howon blink when he spotted Sungjong standing over near the toilet. Not the most romantic place to meet, but Sungjong still felt happy.
“Hey,” Howon murmured sleepily, “want a hug?” He grinned walking over to tug Sungjong into his arms. Sungjong squeezed his eyes shut, letting the older boy hug him, even if he couldn’t help but wonder why he was doing this. Why was Howon suddenly hugging him nonstop, it didn’t make sense and it was weird? Sungjong pushed Howon back gently shifting to sit on the edge of the bath, watching the older boy.
“Hyung, why are you suddenly always hugging me?” Sungjong chewed on his lower lip, following Howon with his eyes as he came to sit next to him. “Not that I’m complaining I’m just surprised that’s all. You never used to hug me, and now you are all the time.” Howon yawned again, hand over his mouth as he turned towards Sungjong.
“Because when we didn’t talk, and I was worrying about you I realised how important you are to me.” Howon shrugged casually, not noticing the way Sungjong’s jaw opened and he just stared across at him. “I don’t know why you’re suddenly fine with me, but I’m happy. So I keep hugging you, so I hope you realise I care about you a lot.” Howon smiled sweetly across at Sungjong, fingers suddenly grasping Sungjong’s hand.
“Oh I’m important to you? How important?” Sungjong looked across at Howon before glancing down at where their hands intersected. “Maybe you should show me, hyung. Just so you know I don’t misunderstand!” Sungjong smiled across at Howon, the warmth of his hand was making him feel giddy. Sungjong hoped that he wasn’t completely misunderstanding this whole situation, his heart was going so fast he thought he might start floating.
“Hmm, show you?” Howon chewed on his lip, looking startled and Sungjong felt so anxious as he waited for Howon to reply or do something. The seconds dragged by and Sungjong felt sick, realising he had hoped too much. The fact that Howon was holding his hand, and telling Sungjong that he was important to him, Sungjong realised he probably meant it in just a brotherly way. Sungjong went to tug his hand back, but Howon’s grip tightened around his hand.
“I can show you,” Howon smirked across at him softly. Sungjong felt as if the air was being sucked from his lungs as Howon leaned in close, his breath was soft against Sungjong’s cheek. Sungjong felt like he couldn’t breathe oxygen, but it felt as if he was breathing in some else more pure that made him feel high and happy. Sungjong shivered slightly, excitement pooling as Howon’s breath slid across his skin and then his lips nudged Sungjong’s. Sungjong shut his eyes expectantly, pressing forward to let Howon kiss him harder, but the older boy pulled back, his thumb brushing against his lip softly.
Sungjong blinked feeling slightly disappointed, he expected more. He wanted more from Howon, a soft sigh escaped from his lips. Sungjong forgot about the fact that Howon was still watching him, his lower lip jutting out in a slight pout until Howon’s thumb stroked across his lip and then cheek. Sungjong blinked up to look at Howon, blinking his eyes when he saw how serious his hyung looked.
“I’m sorry, Sungjonggie, I guess you don’t feel the same way?” Howon breathed out slowly, “Somehow I just hoped you did.” Sungjong frowned and then just shook his head, this wasn’t right. It just wasn’t right at all. Sungjong frowned and tilted his head sideways, leaning in close to Howon.
“Hyung, you’re misunderstanding me now.” Sungjong pouted, “I guess I’ll just have to show you too.” Sungjong smiled shyly, wondering if he was getting in too deep. Breathing in slowly he leaned in close and pressed his lips to Howon’s, slowly tugging Howon’s lower lip in between his, sucking on it lightly. Sungjong’s eyes slid shut, and he felt so happy as Howon’s hands tugged through his blond locks, pulling him in closer.
“Oh,” Howon grinned when they finally separated, “Oh was that why you were so interested in whom I was dating? Huh?” Sungjong felt his cheeks cheat up, and he shook his head shyly, still breathing heavily as Howon leaned across to kiss his cheek.
“Yes hyung,” Sungjong pouted, “Don’t laugh at me,” Sungjong sulked slightly, feeling irritated at the way Howon was laughing at him, shaking his head and laughing. Sungjong playfully hit Howon, but the older boy grasped his hand, holding it tightly in his.
“So what did you have to accept?” Howon couldn’t help but ask, he had been dying to know for weeks. Even if he had a vague idea he still wanted to hear what Sungjong had to say. The exact reason, and the way Sungjong’s face began to go red made Howon glad he asked. “Was it something related to me?” Howon’s grin grew wider as Sungjong squirmed slightly, until Howon put his arms around his waist pulling him close.
“You and Dongwoo-hyung,” Sungjong mumbled softly, “Dating.” Sungjong pouted, sulky slightly so Howon pulled him in closer, arms tightening around him. Sungjong couldn’t help but smile after that, he could get used to this. Howon smelt good and Sungjong couldn’t help but lean in closer, snuggling against his hyung sleepily. Sungjong felt like he was dreaming, surely this couldn’t be real.
“Oh, silly Sungjonggie,” Howon murmured sleepily, “I always liked you. But I could hardly say that on camera. I guess we’re both idiots huh?” Howon grinned, patting Sungjong’s head lightly.
“But we should go back to bed,” Howon yawned softly, “It’s late and we have work tomorrow, well and you have school.” Sungjong groaned softly, burying his head against Howon’s chest. He wanted to stay there in the bathroom and not let this dream end.
“Okay hyung, so what does this mean?” Sungjong finally whispered when Howon grabbed his hand dragging him out of the bathroom, “for us I mean?” He whispered softly as Howon stopped dead, turning to look at him. Sungjong breathed in slowly, wondering why Howon was still so serious but then he grinned brightly across at Sungjong.
“Uh, we’re dating right?” Howon grinned, “I mean right? You want that don’t you?” Howon asked, realising he couldn’t just assume but the way Sungjong nodded his head eagerly made him laugh softly. Stupid question but it felt good all the same just to confirm it. They held hands tightly and grinned as they made their way back to bed, settling in down next to each other. Sungjong had a feeling he would sleep better than ever before, he was so happy.
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^^;;;; fml XD