oops. It's only taken me a month ...
Title: the way we love (2/3)
Author: argh (@ oneuldo)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,130
Pairing: Onew/OC, Onew/Minho
Summary: Sometimes hearts can be stubborn. Sometimes you can blindly fall in love, and your stubborn heart just won't move on even if its painful and totally pointless.
Dedication: for thesangtae ♥ this is your (late) fic for your Replay for Japan bid! ^^; The prompt you gave me was kind of vague so I hope this is okay? (If not, I'm planning to write you a second fic too^^;)
Notes: finally beta-ed ♥ a massive thanks to my awesome new beta (who shall remain anonymous) ♥
(Also. While it does say "Onew/OC" you can rest assured, there will be a happy Onew/Minho ending.)
First part: the way we love - one;
ΞΘΞ
“I don’t get why you do this to yourself,” Sungjong mumbled with a frown, picking up the picture of Minho from high school. “It’d be easy, you could go back to wearing contacts and wow everyone with your good looks and good grades.” Sungjong put the photo frame down gently, and Minho turned his back to Sungjong, not wanting to have this discussion anymore. Minho didn’t want to hear about how he should wear contacts anymore. They felt uncomfortable and unlucky. Minho had been wearing contacts when the team had lost at the soccer championships. Glasses however made Minho feel confident, because he always was wearing them during exam time, so they felt like a good luck charm. Plus Minho’s first (and only) boyfriend, had asked him out when he was wearing glasses.
“You don’t think Jinki would be dazzled?” Sungjong poked Minho’s back gently. “Come on, why don’t you just try it? It’s got to be better than sitting around here moping about how much you like him. I’ve heard you, even in your sleep.” Sungjong grinned when Minho turned, his cheeks flushing, and Sungjong looked pleased at having caught Minho.
“Sungjong, you know I don’t want that.” Minho frowned, shaking his head quickly. He ignored how Sungjong rolled his eyes at him. “I hated being popular in high school. Everyone is always watching you and gossiping. It was horrible, and I hated having all the fake people pretend to like me.”
“Yes, I know.” Sungjong bit his lip. “You want Jinki -- or anyone, for that matter -- to like you for who you are, not what you look like. You are so stubborn; sometimes I think hitting my head against a wall would be a better use of my time than trying to make you see sense.” Sungjong shifted uncomfortably on the bed and Minho sighed softly, he knew what Sungjong was probably thinking, because they had had this discussion too many times. About how Minho should just shed his glasses so people could see how attractive he was. Minho didn’t really see how the glasses got in the way.
“Not quite, ah, but something like that, I guess.” Minho bit his lip, wishing that he wasn’t so damn stubborn about this, wishing that he could just do as Sungjong suggested, but the idea of Jinki only liking him for his looks or grades made Minho’s insides crush. He would be devastated if he found out that Jinki was fake, superficial like all those people from high school. Minho wanted to believe he was better than that, that he could look beyond the thick-framed glasses and really see Minho.
“You do realise, don’t you,” Sungjong said, blinking slowly, “that our neighbours still gossip about you. So, uh, you still have that.” The younger boy sighed, flicking his hair out of his eyes, and Minho wondered how he had ended up friends with someone like Sungjong or, rather, why Sungjong had befriended him. He wondered what Sungjong had seen in him. Whatever it was, he hoped that Jinki would see it one day too.
ΞΘΞ
Minho figured he was probably nuts for always wanting to lie in the middle of the soccer field, but he didn’t care. He smiled as he gazed up at the sky, dotted with faint stars, and he could hear the wind rustling the leaves of the trees bordering one side of the field. The breeze was the only sound he could hear; it was so incredibly peaceful. Minho flopped down onto the grass, gazing up at the faint spots of light and letting the wind caress his hair.
He sucked in a deep breath, tilting his head back and letting his eyes slide shut. His mind was empty, peaceful -- nothing was worrying him. Just as Minho thought about how peaceful it felt, a stray thought floated into his consciousness, the peace fleeing in a second. He had seen Jinki earlier, pacing around the library, his usually sunny smile nowhere to be seen. Instead he seemed sad. His eyes looked downcast, and the smile… well, to someone who spent days - years -- studying Jinki, it was obviously fake.
Biting his lip, Minho opened his eyes as he dug his fingers into the grass, tugging on it. He just wished Jinki would talk to someone - it didn’t have to be him. All Minho wanted was to see Jinki happy. It hurt to see Jinki smile at other people, but Minho realised it was even more painful to see the happiness taken out of Jinki’s eyes.
Minho lay back on the grass, spreading his limbs out freely as he gazed up at the stars. They were barely visible, and Minho wondered if it was like that for Jinki. Perhaps he was just one of those tiny, insignificant stars, something that Jinki could barely see or even care about. Minho breathed in deeply, wishing the ache in his chest would go away, wishing that he could just ask Jinki to remove himself from Minho’s brain and heart. But it wasn’t that easy, no matter how much Minho wished it was. Minho wished he could just flip a switch and his feelings would turn off like a light, although the thought of not liking Jinki made his stomach churn uncomfortably.
The sound of faint steps made Minho look around, unable to stop smiling when he spotted Jinki dressed in his pyjamas and a dressing gown. Minho snorted softly as he saw the yellow ducks all over Jinki’s pyjamas and how they peeked out under the dressing gown as if they were real. The dressing gown was just plain navy blue, but it looked good with the ducks and it looked good on Jinki.
“Hi,” Jinki whispered, chewing on his lip as he came to sit down next to Minho, wrapping his arms around his knees. “I, uh, was looking for you. Sungjong-ah told me you were down here.” Jinki pressed his chin against the top of his knees. His eyes looked so downcast and sad. Minho had to stop himself from reaching for Jinki, just to hold onto him for comfort.
“Um, did you mean it last time?” Jinki’s voice was so soft Minho had to strain to hear him, and it was so hard to sit there hearing Jinki’s usually confident voice sound so weak. Minho thought no one would recognise that voice; it didn’t sound like the smart, confident Lee Jinki, the most amazing person on campus (at least in Minho’s opinion). “When you said you’d listen?” Jinki chewed on his lip, eyes blinking rapidly as he looked across at Minho. It felt like the first time Jinki had even looked at him and seen Minho.
“Yeah, I meant it.” Minho shifted over closer to Jinki, taking a deep breath. “I know you don’t like me the way I like you. But, hyung, because I really care about you, I want to always be there for you. I just want you to know, I’m always here in the background supporting you, no matter what. I don’t expect you to like me back. I just want to help you.” Minho wanted to sink into the ground as soon as he stopped speaking, wondering what possessed him to say such things. He expected Jinki to laugh at him, even though he knew Jinki was considerate and polite.
“Thank you,” Jinki mumbled, glancing down at the grass and wiping his eyes so that, for a second, Minho wondered if he was crying. “Thank you, you’re so sweet.” Jinki looked at Minho with a sad but soft smile, and Minho felt like crying, it hurt so much. Why did he have to feel so strongly for Jinki in a way that Minho knew burdened him?
“And I’m sorry I can’t feel the same way about you, but you’re an amazing best friend. Thank you Minho’s eyes widened and he turned to stare at Jinki, his hands trembling as he repeated Jinki’s words over and over in his head. Best friend? Best friend! Holy fuck! Jinki smiled again, shifting closer so that their thighs were almost pressed together. Minho trembled slightly as he looked down at Jinki’s legs and the way he wrapped his arms around them tightly.
“Anyway, what’s up, hyung? Why did you want to talk to me?” Minho asked curiously, looking forward, looking at anything so he didn’t stare too openly at Jinki.
Jinki bit his lip. “It’s Yui. I really like her.” Jinki looked down at his hands. “But you know I’m not very good with people, with girls. I feel like I’m stuffing everything up. I don’t even know if she likes me back.” Jinki breathed out slowly, looking down at the grass. His eyes looked so solemn and sad that Minho thought if Yui was a guy, Minho would hunt him down and punch him. Hyung, you’re perfect. You’re amazing with people; everyone loves you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Yui is just a bitch if she can’t see what an amazing person you are! Almost immediately Minho felt guilty for thinking such things, it scared him a little that he could think this irrationally.
ΞΘΞ
“So how are things going with Myungsoo?” Minho asked with a smirk, watching the way Sungjong’s cheeks darkened and he glanced around the library nervously before shooting a glare towards Minho. “What?”
“Do you have to talk so loud?” Sungjong hissed. “Someone will hear you!” But Minho just grinned as he shrugged. He wasn’t concerned. It wasn’t as if he had said something bad, and it was cute seeing how worked up Sungjong got.
“Awww, Sungjong-ah, you’re so cute,” Minho cooed as he leaned across to pinch Sungjong’s cheek, laughing until he heard a soft cough. Minho turned, his hand falling immediately from Sungjong’s face when he saw Jinki standing there, lips curved up in that tender smile that made Minho’s heart soften. Sungjong began to laugh as he watched Minho blush and look down nervously.
“Hey,” Jinki said softly, “thanks for the other night, and I’m sorry for burdening you with my troubles. I really appreciate it though.” Minho stiffened when he noticed how all of Jinki’s friends were staring at them, probably wondering why Jinki was even talking to him. They all must’ve known about Minho’s pathetic crush and probably thought that Jinki should avoid Minho because he was weird for liking Jinki so much.
Minho swallowed, fiddling with his thick glasses, blinking as he looked down at the desk and then up at Jinki’s face. Jinki had no idea, no clue that his friends were staring, and it made Minho feel uncomfortable, was it that weird for Jinki to talk to him? Most of the time when Minho and Jinki talked, it was out on the field or in some private room so they could concentrate on the assignment they were working on.
“It’s fine, hyung. I meant what I said,” Minho said, nodding his head slowly, wondering why his stupid heart couldn’t forget Jinki, it was worse now he knew that Jinki and Yui weren’t even dating, Jinki was just helping her with her homework. That was enough to make his heart leap about in his chest and his brain to whisper that he had a chance. The problem was that Minho knew Jinki liked Yui. “You can contact me anytime if you need to talk.” Minho smiled, resisting the urge to reach out and touch Jinki’s arm.
“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” Jinki nodded his head, half-bowing towards Minho, which just made him feel awkward. “Listen, I better go,” Jinki said. He half-waved as he walked away, leaving Minho sighing as he left. Sungjong giggled softly as he looked across at his friend, then he sighed too before reaching across to pat Minho’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, hyung. One day Jinki might notice you,” Sungjong giggled as he patted Minho on the shoulder, “and how pathetic you are, always throwing yourself at him.” Sungjong smirked and then muttered, “You can contact me anytime,” in a high-pitched voice, making the words sound even more pathetic. Minho just glared at him. Minho froze when he saw Kibum, who was a friend of Jinki’s, pause next to their table and smirk at Minho. He definitely knew about Minho’s crush, and Minho felt sick as he heard Kibum laugh softly.
ΞΘΞ
Minho knew it would hurt letting Jinki confide in him, but at the same time he just wanted to help. It was hard listening to Jinki talk about Yui and how much he liked her. It made it worse because Jinki said it seemed like she didn’t like him back, and he wanted Minho to help him. Minho sighed as he rolled over on his bed, tossing and turning again. Sungjong was out with Myungsoo, and Minho felt a little jealous that things seemed to be working out between them.
As miserable as Minho was, he at least felt happy when he saw Jinki smiling. But it was harder to stand it when Jinki came rushing over to Minho to tell him that he had finally asked Yui out. Minho could only clap Jinki on the back, smile, and pretend to be happy for him. Jinki’s obliviousness to Minho’s feelings hurt; he knew that Minho liked him and yet at the same time he was completely clueless.
It had been a week since Jinki had asked Yui out, and Minho guessed that things had worked out, because he hadn’t seen Jinki or heard from him for days. It hurt, because Minho was so used to Jinki turning up on the soccer field late at night or at his room, just to talk. Minho had loved it, even if the topics hurt him, just seeing Jinki and spending time with him made him happy. But now that Jinki was happy with Yui, Minho figured the right thing to do was for him to get over Jinki.
Minho sighed as he thought about it. Because they had some of the same classes, Minho decided to change streams. It meant getting up earlier and was more awkward, but Minho felt he had to do it. It wasn’t that he wanted to cut Jinki out of his life; it was more because he felt so pathetic. But at the same time he didn’t want to give up on Jinki. Not when he thought of all the times they had spent together, the times when Jinki would smile brightly upon seeing Minho. Or when Jinki ignored everyone else around and just focussed his attention on Minho, his eyes following Minho as he listened, it reminded Minho of his ex-boyfriend so much. Minho knew he must be mistaken or imagining it, but sometimes it felt like Jinki looked at him the same way his ex had. But that had only happened a couple of times, Minho was sure he must be seeing it wrong.
Maybe on some level, it was more to see if Jinki would even notice that Minho wasn’t around, and it made Minho’s chest ache because he figured Jinki wouldn’t, why would he? Jinki was oblivious and dreamy, always lost in his thoughts, so clearly he wouldn’t even notice if Minho was or wasn’t there.
The number of times that Jinki hadn’t even seen Minho in class or walked right past him was uncountable. Minho sighed. He really was an idiot. He wished he could just stop caring, just stop liking Jinki, but the problem was he couldn’t. Minho just couldn’t get past the idea that, somehow, someday Jinki would like him back. Minho knew it was insane to think that way, but he just felt it so strongly and it made it impossible for him to give up. Especially when Minho thought about the way Jinki looked at Minho so thoughtfully, and when he would give up hours of his time to just sit with Minho on the soccer field at night. Minho could still remember the time Jinki had sat with him for most of the night and then admitted he had an exam the next day. Or how Jinki had asked Minho repeatedly when his birthday was, and how Jinki had grinned brightly saying that they were both Sagittarians and maybe that was why they got on so well. Minho knew it was crazy to hope that Jinki might like him back one day, but he couldn’t get the idea out of his head.
ΞΘΞ
“Hyung, what's up?” Kibum laughed as he saw Jinki sighing heavily, arms crossed in front of his chest, and he glanced out the dorm window. It was strange, because Kibum thought Jinki seemed less smiley, even though he was dating the girl he liked. Kibum shook his head, watching Jinki space out. It must be exam pressure making Jinki's smiles fade away.
“Nothing,” Jinki mumbled minutes later, after Kibum had given up on him replying, “Nothing’s wrong, why would it be?” Jinki turned to face Kibum, who was sitting on his bed, giving Kibum plenty of time to see the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was uncombed and messy. Kibum bit his lip, wishing he could do something to lighten his hyung's exam load. Jinki was smart, but he still stressed about exams, because he wanted the best grades. For Jinki, 95 out of a 100 wasn't good enough.
“Are you seeing Yui later?” Kibum prompted Jinki, hoping to coax a smile out of his friend, but Jinki frowned and then nodded his head. “That should be good, right?” Kibum couldn't help but smile, feeling awkward as Jinki didn't return the smile. Instead he kept frowning, before he turned to look out the window again. Rolling his eyes, Kibum stood up and was about to walk out of the room when he saw Jinki suddenly lean forward intently, mouthing something to himself.
Blinking, Kibum stepped forward to peer out the window and see what Jinki was studying. Kibum frowned; there was nothing exciting to see down there. He started to pull back, but then he noticed a solitary figure dressed in shorts and a singlet running down on the grass. Kibum's eyes widened in shock as he recognised the runner -- it was someone he hadn't seen around Jinki for a while. Kibum turned to see a wistful expression cross Jinki's face, and then he sighed, biting his lip. Kibum blinked and just stood there. Surely he was mistaken, but judging from the way Jinki glanced down again, eyes following the runner, it seemed as if Jinki missed him.
ΞΘΞ
“Hyung, Minho-hyung, come on, please?”
Minho shut his eyes and rolled over, he wasn’t in the mood for dealing with Sungjong (or anyone really). Minho burrowed under the covers, hoping that Sungjong would get the hint and just leave. Minho just wanted to sleep, he had gone for an extra-long run that morning, and then spend the rest of the day studying for the up-coming exams, never mind that the exams were next month. Minho had to do something to keep his mind occupied and busy, but now he wanted to rest.
“Hyung, this isn’t just your room! You know, you have a roommate! You can’t just expect me to clean up after you. I know you’re upset and hurting, but for fucks sake hyung it’s been two months! You can’t keep doing this, you can’t.” Minho burrowed deeper, hearing Sungjong breathing out heavily, “You can’t live this way hyung. It’s not healthy to be exercising all day, or studying non-stop.” Minho wished he could block out Sungjong’s voice, he didn’t want to hear it. Minho knew it was unhealthy but it was the only way he could get through the days.
“Yeah I know,” Minho mumbled through the bedding, trying not to grit his teeth together in annoyance, “I know I have a roommate. And let’s face it - you only want me to clean up so your fucking boyfriend can come over.” Minho pushed the bedding down from his face, so he could glare up at Sungjong. It annoyed Minho how as soon as Myungsoo was coming over, Sungjong wanted Minho to clean up the room, when half of the mess was Sungjong’s.
“That’s not true and you know it!” Sungjong frowned, and shook his head slowly, “I’m fucking worried about you, you never fucking leave this room unless it’s to exercise and study. Hyung, you can’t keep acting this way.” Minho sighed and just rolled onto his side, he didn’t need Sungjong to tell him. Everywhere Minho went reminded him of Jinki, he had to end this, cut his feelings off. Minho couldn’t help but think maybe if he pushed himself harder, he would finally forget Jinki.
“Well just stop worrying, Sungjong-ah,” Minho flopped over to face Sungjong again, “You’re not my mother. So don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine I promise.” Minho nodded his head, just wishing that this whole conversation would just end, it was getting too close to subjects (like Jinki) that Minho didn’t want to talk or think about.
“Hyung! You’re not being fair, what kind of a friend wouldn’t worry right now?” Minho couldn’t help but flinch from Sungjong’s words, he knew he was right but Minho didn’t know what else to do. No simply he had no choice except to act this way otherwise he would lose the plot. Biting his lip Minho sat up, pushing the sheets down and wondering if he should go study in the library or something, give Sungjong some space.
“Please hyung, just tidy your stuff up, and maybe then we could go and eat dinner with Myungsoo? It would be fun!” Minho didn’t need to look at Sungjong to know his eyes were probably full of pity. Minho wanted to scoff, sure going out for dinner with a couple would be fun, that was exactly what he needed right now. It would be as much fun as breaking a bone. Minho knew he should feel awkward or pathetic, that his roommate was resorting to inviting him out with his boyfriend too, but Minho didn’t really care.
“I’m going to the library.” Minho turned away from Sungjong, placing books into his bag without even thinking about what he really needed. “I’ll be back late, so you can invite Myungsoo over. Sorry.” Minho mumbled talking more to his backpack then Sungjong.
“You’re missing the whole fucking point.” Sungjong whispered, “fuck this, I give up. You’re just going to break down hyung, or collapse or I don’t fucking know. But seriously, hyung, you’ve got to stop this. No, I’m not going to say another word.” Minho breathed in slowly, suppressing the part of himself that agreed with Sungjong, and reminding himself that he had to do this. There was no other option, this was the only way he could see to get over Jinki (never mind that it wasn’t even working).
ΞΘΞ
Jonghyun looked up and then smiled when he saw Kibum walking up to him. Jonghyun put his book down, shifting back in the chair so he was leaning back as Kibum pulled a chair out and sat down at the cafe table. Kibum didn’t say anything to Jonghyun; instead he asked the waiter for a glass of water, ignoring Jonghyun who studied him intently.
“So,” Jonghyun began, picking his glass up, “what causes the almighty Kibum to come over to talk to lowly me?” Jonghyun raised one eyebrow. He didn’t have much to do with Kibum. They knew each other, had gone to the same schools, but they weren’t friends exactly.
“Cut it out,” Kibum said with a frown. “You’re not lowly and I’m not almighty.” Kibum wrinkled his forehead and then rolled his eyes at Jonghyun, knowing that the other was going to remind him that wrinkling his forehead would cause wrinkles.
“Well, we’re hardly friends and yet here you are sitting opposite me.” Jonghyun sipped from his water, watching Kibum with predatory eyes. “How’s Jinki? Or, rather, how is his love life now that he finally has a girlfriend?” Jonghyun smiled, feeling pleased with himself as he saw how annoyed Kibum looked at the question.
“He’s okay. I haven’t seen you or Minho hanging around Jinki like you used to. What’s up with that?” Kibum frowned, “Or did Minho finally get over Jinki?” Jonghyun’s eyes widened, and he gaped slightly, wondering why on Earth Kibum was asking such questions.
“Whoa, wait, why are you even asking about Minho?” Jonghyun frowned as he leaned forward. “You never cared about him liking Jinki before, so why does it matter now?” Jonghyun stiffened slightly, feeling like something was changing.
“I guess I was just curious,” Kibum said, a troubled expression on his face. “I always used to see Minho around the place and then he was suddenly gone.” Jonghyun’s shoulders slumped. For a second he had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Jinki had sent Kibum to ask about Minho. But then he figured it was probably just Kibum being nosy, Kibum liking to know what was going on. Although Jonghyun still thought that seemed a bit off; he couldn’t quite figure out why Kibum would even care about Minho, unless it was for Jinki. That thought made Jonghyun sit up straighter and just hope that maybe his first instinct was right, that Jinki had sent Kibum.
“Oh, well, I guess you’d have to ask Minho. I don’t know, to be honest.” Jonghyun shrugged. He didn’t feel like telling Kibum anything unless it was related to Jinki. Even then Jonghyun figured it was best to say nothing. He hated seeing Minho the way he was. Jonghyun sighed softly, glancing out the window as he wondered again what they were going to do about Minho. Jonghyun knew that he and Sungjong would have to do something, because the way Minho was either pushing himself or moping was not normal at all.
ΞΘΞ
Weeks turned into months and Minho never had any contact with Jinki. He felt himself adapting and changing; he would see Jinki from a distance and see the smile on his face. It hurt, but Minho figured it was less painful than being right next to Jinki. Minho didn’t think his heart could stand to see that smile up close, to feel the happiness Jinki would radiate. Minho went to extreme efforts to avoid Jinki. It was insane on one level, because it made it seem as if he didn’t like him anymore, but then no one could blame him either.
Minho spent less time in the room he shared with Sungjong, preferring to find some lonely and quiet spot in the library. He heard the jokes that he was trying to get a bit smarter, but he ignored it all. None of the students had realised that Minho always studied, and none of them had seen his grades either. He ignored everything, concentrating so hard on his studies and the soccer team that everything else seemed to fade out completely. Minho sighed as he chewed on the end of his pen. He had heard a faint laugh, and something about it reminded him of Jinki. Minho sucked in a deep breath, suddenly feeling giddy; he hadn’t heard Jinki’s voice or laughter in such a long time.
Wistfully Minho gazed out of the window, wondering if Jinki was truly happy. Part of him couldn’t accept that Jinki really was happy. Or, rather, he wanted to think that Jinki couldn’t be happy without him, as selfish as it was. Minho had never thought that Yui was right for him either. It still hurt to think of them together - the popular couple. That image made Minho’s head ache. With a sigh, he lowered his face against the desk. For what felt like the millionth, Minho wondered why he hadn’t just transferred to a different university.
Minho knew the answer, but he knew it was insane to keep on hoping. Even if Jinki couldn’t like him back, Minho wanted to just be around in case Jinki was hurt or upset by Yui. Minho groaned and banged his head against the desk. Hiding from Jinki was definitely an effective way of being there for him. Minho lifted his head to bang it down again when someone touched his shoulder lightly. Minho ignored the touch at first, just keeping his eyes shut and forehead pressed against the desk.
“Minho.” As soon as Minho heard Jinki’s voice his head shot up. “Minho, do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?” Minho slowly turned back to see Jinki standing there, frowning down at him. Minho gawked, drinking Jinki in, noticing how thin Jinki looked, the way he seemed exhausted standing there, but under it all he was still the same. Minho gulped, eyes flicking up to meet Jinki’s, biting his lip as he continued to study his face, feeling his heart clench so tightly in his chest. Minho wished he could just pull Jinki into his arms and hug him, but instead he sat there staring at Jinki with his mouth wide open in shock.
“Minho?” Jinki frowned, leaning forward until his face was right up close to Minho’s. “Are you okay? Where have you been all this time?” Jinki frowned, exhaling loudly so that Minho felt a gust of warmth against his cheek, and he blinked, gazing up at Jinki, then snapping his jaw shut as he pulled back shakily.
“Sorry, I just couldn’t…” Minho trailed off feeling his heart pound rapidly. What could he say to Jinki? It felt wrong to remind Jinki of his feelings, because he didn’t want to burden him any more than he had in the past. “I was just really busy, um, yeah, I’m trying to improve my grades.” Minho nodded his head slowly, the lies sliding off his tongue so easily.
“Oh.” Minho winced to see how hurt Jinki looked. “So busy you couldn’t even say hi to me?” Jinki bit his lip softly, tilting his head to one side. Minho felt as if Jinki had reached into his chest and was crushing his heart. Minho swallowed and then nodded his head, managing a faint smile when he saw Jinki smiling softly down at him.
“Well,” Jinki said, grabbing Minho’s phone, which was sitting on the desk, and making Minho’s eyes widen in surprise as he flipped it open, “I’ll just have to take your number so we can at least talk sometimes.” Jinki smiled down at Minho, memorising the phone number, and then he grabbed Minho’s hand and slid the phone back into his palm. Minho swallowed, blinking as his phone began to ring. He glanced up to see Jinki grinning triumphantly down at him.
ΞΘΞ
;) ♥
TADA~ no comments this time around. No. Wait. I lie. I'm going to go and study some stuff and as always try to improve, which means as always no fic around here (or anywhere).
I'm reasonably happy with this fic. When I posted the first part I hated it, but now I don't hate it at all. Somehow the beta process has made me feel better about it. ♥ I just hope that thesangtae enjoys it. ♥
Author: argh (@ oneuldo)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,130
Pairing: Onew/OC, Onew/Minho
Summary: Sometimes hearts can be stubborn. Sometimes you can blindly fall in love, and your stubborn heart just won't move on even if its painful and totally pointless.
Dedication: for thesangtae ♥ this is your (late) fic for your Replay for Japan bid! ^^; The prompt you gave me was kind of vague so I hope this is okay? (If not, I'm planning to write you a second fic too^^;)
Notes: finally beta-ed ♥ a massive thanks to my awesome new beta (who shall remain anonymous) ♥
(Also. While it does say "Onew/OC" you can rest assured, there will be a happy Onew/Minho ending.)
First part: the way we love - one;
ΞΘΞ
“I don’t get why you do this to yourself,” Sungjong mumbled with a frown, picking up the picture of Minho from high school. “It’d be easy, you could go back to wearing contacts and wow everyone with your good looks and good grades.” Sungjong put the photo frame down gently, and Minho turned his back to Sungjong, not wanting to have this discussion anymore. Minho didn’t want to hear about how he should wear contacts anymore. They felt uncomfortable and unlucky. Minho had been wearing contacts when the team had lost at the soccer championships. Glasses however made Minho feel confident, because he always was wearing them during exam time, so they felt like a good luck charm. Plus Minho’s first (and only) boyfriend, had asked him out when he was wearing glasses.
“You don’t think Jinki would be dazzled?” Sungjong poked Minho’s back gently. “Come on, why don’t you just try it? It’s got to be better than sitting around here moping about how much you like him. I’ve heard you, even in your sleep.” Sungjong grinned when Minho turned, his cheeks flushing, and Sungjong looked pleased at having caught Minho.
“Sungjong, you know I don’t want that.” Minho frowned, shaking his head quickly. He ignored how Sungjong rolled his eyes at him. “I hated being popular in high school. Everyone is always watching you and gossiping. It was horrible, and I hated having all the fake people pretend to like me.”
“Yes, I know.” Sungjong bit his lip. “You want Jinki -- or anyone, for that matter -- to like you for who you are, not what you look like. You are so stubborn; sometimes I think hitting my head against a wall would be a better use of my time than trying to make you see sense.” Sungjong shifted uncomfortably on the bed and Minho sighed softly, he knew what Sungjong was probably thinking, because they had had this discussion too many times. About how Minho should just shed his glasses so people could see how attractive he was. Minho didn’t really see how the glasses got in the way.
“Not quite, ah, but something like that, I guess.” Minho bit his lip, wishing that he wasn’t so damn stubborn about this, wishing that he could just do as Sungjong suggested, but the idea of Jinki only liking him for his looks or grades made Minho’s insides crush. He would be devastated if he found out that Jinki was fake, superficial like all those people from high school. Minho wanted to believe he was better than that, that he could look beyond the thick-framed glasses and really see Minho.
“You do realise, don’t you,” Sungjong said, blinking slowly, “that our neighbours still gossip about you. So, uh, you still have that.” The younger boy sighed, flicking his hair out of his eyes, and Minho wondered how he had ended up friends with someone like Sungjong or, rather, why Sungjong had befriended him. He wondered what Sungjong had seen in him. Whatever it was, he hoped that Jinki would see it one day too.
ΞΘΞ
Minho figured he was probably nuts for always wanting to lie in the middle of the soccer field, but he didn’t care. He smiled as he gazed up at the sky, dotted with faint stars, and he could hear the wind rustling the leaves of the trees bordering one side of the field. The breeze was the only sound he could hear; it was so incredibly peaceful. Minho flopped down onto the grass, gazing up at the faint spots of light and letting the wind caress his hair.
He sucked in a deep breath, tilting his head back and letting his eyes slide shut. His mind was empty, peaceful -- nothing was worrying him. Just as Minho thought about how peaceful it felt, a stray thought floated into his consciousness, the peace fleeing in a second. He had seen Jinki earlier, pacing around the library, his usually sunny smile nowhere to be seen. Instead he seemed sad. His eyes looked downcast, and the smile… well, to someone who spent days - years -- studying Jinki, it was obviously fake.
Biting his lip, Minho opened his eyes as he dug his fingers into the grass, tugging on it. He just wished Jinki would talk to someone - it didn’t have to be him. All Minho wanted was to see Jinki happy. It hurt to see Jinki smile at other people, but Minho realised it was even more painful to see the happiness taken out of Jinki’s eyes.
Minho lay back on the grass, spreading his limbs out freely as he gazed up at the stars. They were barely visible, and Minho wondered if it was like that for Jinki. Perhaps he was just one of those tiny, insignificant stars, something that Jinki could barely see or even care about. Minho breathed in deeply, wishing the ache in his chest would go away, wishing that he could just ask Jinki to remove himself from Minho’s brain and heart. But it wasn’t that easy, no matter how much Minho wished it was. Minho wished he could just flip a switch and his feelings would turn off like a light, although the thought of not liking Jinki made his stomach churn uncomfortably.
The sound of faint steps made Minho look around, unable to stop smiling when he spotted Jinki dressed in his pyjamas and a dressing gown. Minho snorted softly as he saw the yellow ducks all over Jinki’s pyjamas and how they peeked out under the dressing gown as if they were real. The dressing gown was just plain navy blue, but it looked good with the ducks and it looked good on Jinki.
“Hi,” Jinki whispered, chewing on his lip as he came to sit down next to Minho, wrapping his arms around his knees. “I, uh, was looking for you. Sungjong-ah told me you were down here.” Jinki pressed his chin against the top of his knees. His eyes looked so downcast and sad. Minho had to stop himself from reaching for Jinki, just to hold onto him for comfort.
“Um, did you mean it last time?” Jinki’s voice was so soft Minho had to strain to hear him, and it was so hard to sit there hearing Jinki’s usually confident voice sound so weak. Minho thought no one would recognise that voice; it didn’t sound like the smart, confident Lee Jinki, the most amazing person on campus (at least in Minho’s opinion). “When you said you’d listen?” Jinki chewed on his lip, eyes blinking rapidly as he looked across at Minho. It felt like the first time Jinki had even looked at him and seen Minho.
“Yeah, I meant it.” Minho shifted over closer to Jinki, taking a deep breath. “I know you don’t like me the way I like you. But, hyung, because I really care about you, I want to always be there for you. I just want you to know, I’m always here in the background supporting you, no matter what. I don’t expect you to like me back. I just want to help you.” Minho wanted to sink into the ground as soon as he stopped speaking, wondering what possessed him to say such things. He expected Jinki to laugh at him, even though he knew Jinki was considerate and polite.
“Thank you,” Jinki mumbled, glancing down at the grass and wiping his eyes so that, for a second, Minho wondered if he was crying. “Thank you, you’re so sweet.” Jinki looked at Minho with a sad but soft smile, and Minho felt like crying, it hurt so much. Why did he have to feel so strongly for Jinki in a way that Minho knew burdened him?
“And I’m sorry I can’t feel the same way about you, but you’re an amazing best friend. Thank you Minho’s eyes widened and he turned to stare at Jinki, his hands trembling as he repeated Jinki’s words over and over in his head. Best friend? Best friend! Holy fuck! Jinki smiled again, shifting closer so that their thighs were almost pressed together. Minho trembled slightly as he looked down at Jinki’s legs and the way he wrapped his arms around them tightly.
“Anyway, what’s up, hyung? Why did you want to talk to me?” Minho asked curiously, looking forward, looking at anything so he didn’t stare too openly at Jinki.
Jinki bit his lip. “It’s Yui. I really like her.” Jinki looked down at his hands. “But you know I’m not very good with people, with girls. I feel like I’m stuffing everything up. I don’t even know if she likes me back.” Jinki breathed out slowly, looking down at the grass. His eyes looked so solemn and sad that Minho thought if Yui was a guy, Minho would hunt him down and punch him. Hyung, you’re perfect. You’re amazing with people; everyone loves you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Yui is just a bitch if she can’t see what an amazing person you are! Almost immediately Minho felt guilty for thinking such things, it scared him a little that he could think this irrationally.
ΞΘΞ
“So how are things going with Myungsoo?” Minho asked with a smirk, watching the way Sungjong’s cheeks darkened and he glanced around the library nervously before shooting a glare towards Minho. “What?”
“Do you have to talk so loud?” Sungjong hissed. “Someone will hear you!” But Minho just grinned as he shrugged. He wasn’t concerned. It wasn’t as if he had said something bad, and it was cute seeing how worked up Sungjong got.
“Awww, Sungjong-ah, you’re so cute,” Minho cooed as he leaned across to pinch Sungjong’s cheek, laughing until he heard a soft cough. Minho turned, his hand falling immediately from Sungjong’s face when he saw Jinki standing there, lips curved up in that tender smile that made Minho’s heart soften. Sungjong began to laugh as he watched Minho blush and look down nervously.
“Hey,” Jinki said softly, “thanks for the other night, and I’m sorry for burdening you with my troubles. I really appreciate it though.” Minho stiffened when he noticed how all of Jinki’s friends were staring at them, probably wondering why Jinki was even talking to him. They all must’ve known about Minho’s pathetic crush and probably thought that Jinki should avoid Minho because he was weird for liking Jinki so much.
Minho swallowed, fiddling with his thick glasses, blinking as he looked down at the desk and then up at Jinki’s face. Jinki had no idea, no clue that his friends were staring, and it made Minho feel uncomfortable, was it that weird for Jinki to talk to him? Most of the time when Minho and Jinki talked, it was out on the field or in some private room so they could concentrate on the assignment they were working on.
“It’s fine, hyung. I meant what I said,” Minho said, nodding his head slowly, wondering why his stupid heart couldn’t forget Jinki, it was worse now he knew that Jinki and Yui weren’t even dating, Jinki was just helping her with her homework. That was enough to make his heart leap about in his chest and his brain to whisper that he had a chance. The problem was that Minho knew Jinki liked Yui. “You can contact me anytime if you need to talk.” Minho smiled, resisting the urge to reach out and touch Jinki’s arm.
“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” Jinki nodded his head, half-bowing towards Minho, which just made him feel awkward. “Listen, I better go,” Jinki said. He half-waved as he walked away, leaving Minho sighing as he left. Sungjong giggled softly as he looked across at his friend, then he sighed too before reaching across to pat Minho’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, hyung. One day Jinki might notice you,” Sungjong giggled as he patted Minho on the shoulder, “and how pathetic you are, always throwing yourself at him.” Sungjong smirked and then muttered, “You can contact me anytime,” in a high-pitched voice, making the words sound even more pathetic. Minho just glared at him. Minho froze when he saw Kibum, who was a friend of Jinki’s, pause next to their table and smirk at Minho. He definitely knew about Minho’s crush, and Minho felt sick as he heard Kibum laugh softly.
ΞΘΞ
Minho knew it would hurt letting Jinki confide in him, but at the same time he just wanted to help. It was hard listening to Jinki talk about Yui and how much he liked her. It made it worse because Jinki said it seemed like she didn’t like him back, and he wanted Minho to help him. Minho sighed as he rolled over on his bed, tossing and turning again. Sungjong was out with Myungsoo, and Minho felt a little jealous that things seemed to be working out between them.
As miserable as Minho was, he at least felt happy when he saw Jinki smiling. But it was harder to stand it when Jinki came rushing over to Minho to tell him that he had finally asked Yui out. Minho could only clap Jinki on the back, smile, and pretend to be happy for him. Jinki’s obliviousness to Minho’s feelings hurt; he knew that Minho liked him and yet at the same time he was completely clueless.
It had been a week since Jinki had asked Yui out, and Minho guessed that things had worked out, because he hadn’t seen Jinki or heard from him for days. It hurt, because Minho was so used to Jinki turning up on the soccer field late at night or at his room, just to talk. Minho had loved it, even if the topics hurt him, just seeing Jinki and spending time with him made him happy. But now that Jinki was happy with Yui, Minho figured the right thing to do was for him to get over Jinki.
Minho sighed as he thought about it. Because they had some of the same classes, Minho decided to change streams. It meant getting up earlier and was more awkward, but Minho felt he had to do it. It wasn’t that he wanted to cut Jinki out of his life; it was more because he felt so pathetic. But at the same time he didn’t want to give up on Jinki. Not when he thought of all the times they had spent together, the times when Jinki would smile brightly upon seeing Minho. Or when Jinki ignored everyone else around and just focussed his attention on Minho, his eyes following Minho as he listened, it reminded Minho of his ex-boyfriend so much. Minho knew he must be mistaken or imagining it, but sometimes it felt like Jinki looked at him the same way his ex had. But that had only happened a couple of times, Minho was sure he must be seeing it wrong.
Maybe on some level, it was more to see if Jinki would even notice that Minho wasn’t around, and it made Minho’s chest ache because he figured Jinki wouldn’t, why would he? Jinki was oblivious and dreamy, always lost in his thoughts, so clearly he wouldn’t even notice if Minho was or wasn’t there.
The number of times that Jinki hadn’t even seen Minho in class or walked right past him was uncountable. Minho sighed. He really was an idiot. He wished he could just stop caring, just stop liking Jinki, but the problem was he couldn’t. Minho just couldn’t get past the idea that, somehow, someday Jinki would like him back. Minho knew it was insane to think that way, but he just felt it so strongly and it made it impossible for him to give up. Especially when Minho thought about the way Jinki looked at Minho so thoughtfully, and when he would give up hours of his time to just sit with Minho on the soccer field at night. Minho could still remember the time Jinki had sat with him for most of the night and then admitted he had an exam the next day. Or how Jinki had asked Minho repeatedly when his birthday was, and how Jinki had grinned brightly saying that they were both Sagittarians and maybe that was why they got on so well. Minho knew it was crazy to hope that Jinki might like him back one day, but he couldn’t get the idea out of his head.
ΞΘΞ
“Hyung, what's up?” Kibum laughed as he saw Jinki sighing heavily, arms crossed in front of his chest, and he glanced out the dorm window. It was strange, because Kibum thought Jinki seemed less smiley, even though he was dating the girl he liked. Kibum shook his head, watching Jinki space out. It must be exam pressure making Jinki's smiles fade away.
“Nothing,” Jinki mumbled minutes later, after Kibum had given up on him replying, “Nothing’s wrong, why would it be?” Jinki turned to face Kibum, who was sitting on his bed, giving Kibum plenty of time to see the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was uncombed and messy. Kibum bit his lip, wishing he could do something to lighten his hyung's exam load. Jinki was smart, but he still stressed about exams, because he wanted the best grades. For Jinki, 95 out of a 100 wasn't good enough.
“Are you seeing Yui later?” Kibum prompted Jinki, hoping to coax a smile out of his friend, but Jinki frowned and then nodded his head. “That should be good, right?” Kibum couldn't help but smile, feeling awkward as Jinki didn't return the smile. Instead he kept frowning, before he turned to look out the window again. Rolling his eyes, Kibum stood up and was about to walk out of the room when he saw Jinki suddenly lean forward intently, mouthing something to himself.
Blinking, Kibum stepped forward to peer out the window and see what Jinki was studying. Kibum frowned; there was nothing exciting to see down there. He started to pull back, but then he noticed a solitary figure dressed in shorts and a singlet running down on the grass. Kibum's eyes widened in shock as he recognised the runner -- it was someone he hadn't seen around Jinki for a while. Kibum turned to see a wistful expression cross Jinki's face, and then he sighed, biting his lip. Kibum blinked and just stood there. Surely he was mistaken, but judging from the way Jinki glanced down again, eyes following the runner, it seemed as if Jinki missed him.
ΞΘΞ
“Hyung, Minho-hyung, come on, please?”
Minho shut his eyes and rolled over, he wasn’t in the mood for dealing with Sungjong (or anyone really). Minho burrowed under the covers, hoping that Sungjong would get the hint and just leave. Minho just wanted to sleep, he had gone for an extra-long run that morning, and then spend the rest of the day studying for the up-coming exams, never mind that the exams were next month. Minho had to do something to keep his mind occupied and busy, but now he wanted to rest.
“Hyung, this isn’t just your room! You know, you have a roommate! You can’t just expect me to clean up after you. I know you’re upset and hurting, but for fucks sake hyung it’s been two months! You can’t keep doing this, you can’t.” Minho burrowed deeper, hearing Sungjong breathing out heavily, “You can’t live this way hyung. It’s not healthy to be exercising all day, or studying non-stop.” Minho wished he could block out Sungjong’s voice, he didn’t want to hear it. Minho knew it was unhealthy but it was the only way he could get through the days.
“Yeah I know,” Minho mumbled through the bedding, trying not to grit his teeth together in annoyance, “I know I have a roommate. And let’s face it - you only want me to clean up so your fucking boyfriend can come over.” Minho pushed the bedding down from his face, so he could glare up at Sungjong. It annoyed Minho how as soon as Myungsoo was coming over, Sungjong wanted Minho to clean up the room, when half of the mess was Sungjong’s.
“That’s not true and you know it!” Sungjong frowned, and shook his head slowly, “I’m fucking worried about you, you never fucking leave this room unless it’s to exercise and study. Hyung, you can’t keep acting this way.” Minho sighed and just rolled onto his side, he didn’t need Sungjong to tell him. Everywhere Minho went reminded him of Jinki, he had to end this, cut his feelings off. Minho couldn’t help but think maybe if he pushed himself harder, he would finally forget Jinki.
“Well just stop worrying, Sungjong-ah,” Minho flopped over to face Sungjong again, “You’re not my mother. So don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine I promise.” Minho nodded his head, just wishing that this whole conversation would just end, it was getting too close to subjects (like Jinki) that Minho didn’t want to talk or think about.
“Hyung! You’re not being fair, what kind of a friend wouldn’t worry right now?” Minho couldn’t help but flinch from Sungjong’s words, he knew he was right but Minho didn’t know what else to do. No simply he had no choice except to act this way otherwise he would lose the plot. Biting his lip Minho sat up, pushing the sheets down and wondering if he should go study in the library or something, give Sungjong some space.
“Please hyung, just tidy your stuff up, and maybe then we could go and eat dinner with Myungsoo? It would be fun!” Minho didn’t need to look at Sungjong to know his eyes were probably full of pity. Minho wanted to scoff, sure going out for dinner with a couple would be fun, that was exactly what he needed right now. It would be as much fun as breaking a bone. Minho knew he should feel awkward or pathetic, that his roommate was resorting to inviting him out with his boyfriend too, but Minho didn’t really care.
“I’m going to the library.” Minho turned away from Sungjong, placing books into his bag without even thinking about what he really needed. “I’ll be back late, so you can invite Myungsoo over. Sorry.” Minho mumbled talking more to his backpack then Sungjong.
“You’re missing the whole fucking point.” Sungjong whispered, “fuck this, I give up. You’re just going to break down hyung, or collapse or I don’t fucking know. But seriously, hyung, you’ve got to stop this. No, I’m not going to say another word.” Minho breathed in slowly, suppressing the part of himself that agreed with Sungjong, and reminding himself that he had to do this. There was no other option, this was the only way he could see to get over Jinki (never mind that it wasn’t even working).
ΞΘΞ
Jonghyun looked up and then smiled when he saw Kibum walking up to him. Jonghyun put his book down, shifting back in the chair so he was leaning back as Kibum pulled a chair out and sat down at the cafe table. Kibum didn’t say anything to Jonghyun; instead he asked the waiter for a glass of water, ignoring Jonghyun who studied him intently.
“So,” Jonghyun began, picking his glass up, “what causes the almighty Kibum to come over to talk to lowly me?” Jonghyun raised one eyebrow. He didn’t have much to do with Kibum. They knew each other, had gone to the same schools, but they weren’t friends exactly.
“Cut it out,” Kibum said with a frown. “You’re not lowly and I’m not almighty.” Kibum wrinkled his forehead and then rolled his eyes at Jonghyun, knowing that the other was going to remind him that wrinkling his forehead would cause wrinkles.
“Well, we’re hardly friends and yet here you are sitting opposite me.” Jonghyun sipped from his water, watching Kibum with predatory eyes. “How’s Jinki? Or, rather, how is his love life now that he finally has a girlfriend?” Jonghyun smiled, feeling pleased with himself as he saw how annoyed Kibum looked at the question.
“He’s okay. I haven’t seen you or Minho hanging around Jinki like you used to. What’s up with that?” Kibum frowned, “Or did Minho finally get over Jinki?” Jonghyun’s eyes widened, and he gaped slightly, wondering why on Earth Kibum was asking such questions.
“Whoa, wait, why are you even asking about Minho?” Jonghyun frowned as he leaned forward. “You never cared about him liking Jinki before, so why does it matter now?” Jonghyun stiffened slightly, feeling like something was changing.
“I guess I was just curious,” Kibum said, a troubled expression on his face. “I always used to see Minho around the place and then he was suddenly gone.” Jonghyun’s shoulders slumped. For a second he had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Jinki had sent Kibum to ask about Minho. But then he figured it was probably just Kibum being nosy, Kibum liking to know what was going on. Although Jonghyun still thought that seemed a bit off; he couldn’t quite figure out why Kibum would even care about Minho, unless it was for Jinki. That thought made Jonghyun sit up straighter and just hope that maybe his first instinct was right, that Jinki had sent Kibum.
“Oh, well, I guess you’d have to ask Minho. I don’t know, to be honest.” Jonghyun shrugged. He didn’t feel like telling Kibum anything unless it was related to Jinki. Even then Jonghyun figured it was best to say nothing. He hated seeing Minho the way he was. Jonghyun sighed softly, glancing out the window as he wondered again what they were going to do about Minho. Jonghyun knew that he and Sungjong would have to do something, because the way Minho was either pushing himself or moping was not normal at all.
ΞΘΞ
Weeks turned into months and Minho never had any contact with Jinki. He felt himself adapting and changing; he would see Jinki from a distance and see the smile on his face. It hurt, but Minho figured it was less painful than being right next to Jinki. Minho didn’t think his heart could stand to see that smile up close, to feel the happiness Jinki would radiate. Minho went to extreme efforts to avoid Jinki. It was insane on one level, because it made it seem as if he didn’t like him anymore, but then no one could blame him either.
Minho spent less time in the room he shared with Sungjong, preferring to find some lonely and quiet spot in the library. He heard the jokes that he was trying to get a bit smarter, but he ignored it all. None of the students had realised that Minho always studied, and none of them had seen his grades either. He ignored everything, concentrating so hard on his studies and the soccer team that everything else seemed to fade out completely. Minho sighed as he chewed on the end of his pen. He had heard a faint laugh, and something about it reminded him of Jinki. Minho sucked in a deep breath, suddenly feeling giddy; he hadn’t heard Jinki’s voice or laughter in such a long time.
Wistfully Minho gazed out of the window, wondering if Jinki was truly happy. Part of him couldn’t accept that Jinki really was happy. Or, rather, he wanted to think that Jinki couldn’t be happy without him, as selfish as it was. Minho had never thought that Yui was right for him either. It still hurt to think of them together - the popular couple. That image made Minho’s head ache. With a sigh, he lowered his face against the desk. For what felt like the millionth, Minho wondered why he hadn’t just transferred to a different university.
Minho knew the answer, but he knew it was insane to keep on hoping. Even if Jinki couldn’t like him back, Minho wanted to just be around in case Jinki was hurt or upset by Yui. Minho groaned and banged his head against the desk. Hiding from Jinki was definitely an effective way of being there for him. Minho lifted his head to bang it down again when someone touched his shoulder lightly. Minho ignored the touch at first, just keeping his eyes shut and forehead pressed against the desk.
“Minho.” As soon as Minho heard Jinki’s voice his head shot up. “Minho, do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?” Minho slowly turned back to see Jinki standing there, frowning down at him. Minho gawked, drinking Jinki in, noticing how thin Jinki looked, the way he seemed exhausted standing there, but under it all he was still the same. Minho gulped, eyes flicking up to meet Jinki’s, biting his lip as he continued to study his face, feeling his heart clench so tightly in his chest. Minho wished he could just pull Jinki into his arms and hug him, but instead he sat there staring at Jinki with his mouth wide open in shock.
“Minho?” Jinki frowned, leaning forward until his face was right up close to Minho’s. “Are you okay? Where have you been all this time?” Jinki frowned, exhaling loudly so that Minho felt a gust of warmth against his cheek, and he blinked, gazing up at Jinki, then snapping his jaw shut as he pulled back shakily.
“Sorry, I just couldn’t…” Minho trailed off feeling his heart pound rapidly. What could he say to Jinki? It felt wrong to remind Jinki of his feelings, because he didn’t want to burden him any more than he had in the past. “I was just really busy, um, yeah, I’m trying to improve my grades.” Minho nodded his head slowly, the lies sliding off his tongue so easily.
“Oh.” Minho winced to see how hurt Jinki looked. “So busy you couldn’t even say hi to me?” Jinki bit his lip softly, tilting his head to one side. Minho felt as if Jinki had reached into his chest and was crushing his heart. Minho swallowed and then nodded his head, managing a faint smile when he saw Jinki smiling softly down at him.
“Well,” Jinki said, grabbing Minho’s phone, which was sitting on the desk, and making Minho’s eyes widen in surprise as he flipped it open, “I’ll just have to take your number so we can at least talk sometimes.” Jinki smiled down at Minho, memorising the phone number, and then he grabbed Minho’s hand and slid the phone back into his palm. Minho swallowed, blinking as his phone began to ring. He glanced up to see Jinki grinning triumphantly down at him.
ΞΘΞ
;) ♥
TADA~ no comments this time around. No. Wait. I lie. I'm going to go and study some stuff and as always try to improve, which means as always no fic around here (or anywhere).
I'm reasonably happy with this fic. When I posted the first part I hated it, but now I don't hate it at all. Somehow the beta process has made me feel better about it. ♥ I just hope that thesangtae enjoys it. ♥